Anyone have experience with "Gifted" Children?

freidasima

Wed, Nov 26 2014, 10:56 am

It's not easy to be gifted, it's not easy to have a gifted child. Depends on the parent, on the child and on the environment.
I was one, I have at least one, we only tested the oldest. I was skipped, that was great intellectually and ok socially but it's harder for boys as if they are short and little and the youngest in class (as I was) it's a lot harder than if you are a tiny little girl and a year and a half younger than anyone else. We skipped oldest dd for the same reason, gifted IQ but saw the problems in the Israeli school system as a result (I grew up in America where the schools knew a bit more about how to cope with "Gifted Jewish kids") so we didn't do it for the rest.

So all in all it depends on the school system, what the parents will put in, the emotional maturity of said child and their social skills if they will be skipped.

groisamomma

Wed, Nov 26 2014, 12:47 pm

DS is gifted. Since the BOE does not mandate G&T programs in his school, he is homeschooled on his level. Gifted kids are generally like sponges, and many are self-taught. With DS, we not only give him grade-level materials, but we feed, feed, feed his brain with any information we can get our hands on. DH or I visit the library at least twice a week and bring home anything and everything for him. There is a world of knowledge out there and to be honest no school will help him maximize his potential like you will. In our case, skipping was better for him socially but he is just as advanced academically compared to his classmates now. To the amother that said skipping means gaps in their knowledge, G&T kids won't rest until they fill those gaps. DS was caught up in two weeks.

ETA: FS is correct. There's no sense in having another child tested if the school isn't equipped to deal with it. When my younger DD showed the same characteristics as DS we jumped right in even without confirming it. You don't need someone to tell you your kid is smart. Just don't let any learning opportunities pass him or her by. They have the ability to learn enormous amounts even his young age. If you want any recommendations as far as websites for him, PM me and I will help you. Most are free and all are great for independent learners.

Best of luck OP.

Inspire

Wed, Nov 26 2014, 1:31 pm

Groismama: So true that we family members don't need anyone to tell us our kids are smart. However, sometimes school staff need to hear the word from a "professional" and that can make a big difference in how much cooperation the school will offer the family. Even if the school has not addressed the issue before, raising awareness may cause them to consult with an expert, or bring in someone to address teachers, etc...

marina

Wed, Nov 26 2014, 2:23 pm

I skipped one of my kids and it worked out wonderfully.

Also, I hate to be like this, but don't get all excited about a gifted kindergartner. It often evens out by 4th grade. If you have a gifted 5th grader, that's more likely to be permanent.

But of course you should differentiate and enhance instruction and if it would help with that to get him tested, by all means do that.

eschaya

Wed, Nov 26 2014, 6:32 pm

I agree with Inspire that the social, emotional, and even physical capabilities of a students should not be ignored when becoming focused on intellectual abilities of a child, especially one who is so young. We decided that it would be appropriate to skip gifted DD, because she was also mature and tall (this may sound ridiculous, but being the tiniest kid in a class is NOT a good thing), whereas DS, who is intellectually even more advanced than DD, we chose not to skip because he was not emotionally mature enough, as well as being somewhat shrimp-y physically. B'H our school is wonderful and works with us and he gets pulled out for math and is given tailored attention to suit his learning level. Also, just because a child may be gifted in math (or reading, or spacial, etc) does not mean he will be advanced globally.
What does your school offer? If a child is emotionally and physically mature, skipping may be an option. If he is not, do they offer individualize tracks?
As long as you and the school take the entire child into account, I am very pro advancing the child on an individual level. Kids who are bored don't love school as much and may get into trouble (depending on the personality). I know some posters said that it's impossible to become bored... but I am proof that it's not. Also, in a classroom setting most teachers will focus on the majority of the students who are in the middle, and often the students who are struggling will get remedial help. This often leads to neglect of the children at the top. My parents remind of a time in 4th grade when I told them that I started making mistakes on purpose when being called on in class so that the teacher would let me read aloud longer and would call on me more. How sad! But that's often the reality, especially in schools with large classroom sizes.

saw50st8

Wed, Nov 26 2014, 7:21 pm

marina wrote:

I'm not so excited about it. I think there are so many drawbacks to being gifted (that I've experienced firsthand). I don't think he's Einstein super genius though :-)

As to skipping - he just makes the cutoff (2 weeks) so many of his classmates are already 10-11 months older than he is. He's not small (he's average), but with his age, he is smaller than most kids. Plus his brother is one grade ahead of him and I don't think combining them would be a good option (nor necessary).

It seems like there is no compelling reason to get him tested.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 3:50 am

When you are VERY highly gifted, drawbacks start to accumulate.
If you're not there, and/or the parents know how to handle it, well I don't really see all those dreary things people predict. Yes it's a bracha. Jews always admired this (not only Jews).

Some do not test under 4 before then indeed it may not be stable (what shrink said). There is a test from 2 (? definitely 3) on. We definitely waited.

marina

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 8:43 am

amother wrote:

Yay for a great parent teacher conference :-)

Now, how long has this teacher been teaching? There is a big difference between intelligent and gifted.

If you want him tested, the district will not do that for you - they only test for issues (I know because I am in the same area)

As for differentiated learning, it sounds good in theory, but it does not always work. You will need to be on top of that and make sure he is getting what he needs.

I have 2 children who I believe are gifted, but the district will not test of course and in the end it doesn't matter. They think differently than my other children who are also bright. And differently than my one child who scores the highest possible on all standardized tests. She is very very smart, but her mind is different. I myself am gifted, but I went to public school where we had amazing programs for gifted students.

Give him lots of opportunities to try new things and see where it takes you. Maybe one day down the road he can be tested if you feel like spending the money or if it becomes necessary.

I don't understand why you are making this claim. NYC tests gifted kids for free. http://schools.nyc.gov/Choices.....t.htm

saw50st8

Sat, Nov 29 2014, 6:56 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Most gifted people I know aren't crazy highly gifted and still have many drawbacks, especially in a normal school setting.

I view it kind of like ADHD - the potential is amazing, but the drawbacks are really hard to deal with. Statistically, gifted kids don't always do well at all. Many of them end up in minimum wage jobs floating through life.

Ruchel

Sun, Nov 30 2014, 4:29 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Lazy gifted, yup. Uninterested in working gifted, also.

Look, it may be a cultural attitude. I don't really post in this forum because I feel bad putting gifted thigs, even challenges, along with adhd etc threads.

But, I quite stand by what I said Smile