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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
6yo DD stealing



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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 27 2014, 1:27 pm
Ok a couple weeks ago I posted about my 6yo DD stealing candy. Turns out this is a serious problem and she is not just stealing candy, but other things too. Stealing fromt he teachers, stealing from me and dh, stealing from kids in her class. Keeps going into the teachers desk and taking things. Its not about the candy.

Please help. How do I handle this?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 27 2014, 1:39 pm
I dealt with this issue last year with a 5 yr old. I spoke to a therapist then and I explained to child that it isnt his and he cant take without asking. after that I took him to the store where he just took candy and made him go to the owner and give it back. I did it right away. bec with kids it needs to be done right away so they get the connection. and he needed to tell the store owner what he did and apologize. most of the stores we had this with were very mentchlich. he was very embarrassed and after a few times like this he stopped. and I saw that he wanted certain stuff so I made a chart and gave him a certain amount of money and he was able to choose what he wanted with that money. it gave him an understanding that you need money to have these things. and it empowered him to see that he can get stuff just he needs to do certain things. I think I was a very powerful lesson and he hasnt done any of it that I know of. I try to take him less to the store so he wont see all the stuff that he so wants. does this sound good to you? what do y'all say?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 27 2014, 4:20 pm
Thanks for your answer, I already had this talk with her a few times.

Didn't seem to help Sad
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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 27 2014, 5:02 pm
have your husband give her a potch- this is one of those things I would reserve a potch for and then a very serious conversation of why its wrong
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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 27 2014, 5:38 pm
I am amother 1:39. just talking isnt enough. as I said I my post. taking her to each store or person she stole and saying herself that she took it and returning is the whole idea! she will be embarrassed. if that doesnt help I would talk to a professional. I did mention other ideas in my post. read it again. good luck
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faigie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 27 2014, 5:43 pm
what if you took something of hers? Then shed get the idea of how it hurts to have something stolen...obviously this is play acting, but it wold put her in the victims shoes.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 28 2014, 9:02 am
Why cant you potch her? Thats the best idea over any psychology she needs to learn fast
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 28 2014, 10:15 am
amother wrote:
Why cant you potch her? Thats the best idea over any psychology she needs to learn fast


I am beyond shocked that 2 people here suggested potching. That is why children grow up messed up because they are just hit without being understood.
Op I have the same exact problem with my 6 yr old dd and we are trying to get to the bottom of it. There are many reasons why a child will steal. Many times its because they are lacking something such as love, attention, feel deprived. In my dd's case its most likely a self control issue.
I do have an appointment for an evaluation but in the meantime I do talk to her a lot about it and if she wants something we do a chart where she can earn it. Mostly what she want is not expensive such as erasers so I got a bunch of different ones and whenever she is good she gets to choose one and now has an eraser collection.
Good luck
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SRS




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 1:45 pm
I'm not a parent that says never spank. But spanking simply is not the punishment for the crime. It is unrelated to the consequence of stealing and the action and consequence should be closely related. The action is stealing. The consequence is restitution.

So she needs to return each and every stolen item with your assistance each and every time.

A potch to the backside isn't going to make restitution for stealing. The store owner is still missing his candybar and the teacher is still missing an eraser or what have you.
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