Do you invite them again to your next simcha?

BetsyTacy

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 6:02 pm

Thanks for the explanation. The problem that if everyone at a table does show up, then I would have a guest standing with no place setting until he/she can grab a waiter--who then has to get all needed items? I would hate to be put in that position myself, and wouldn't want to do that to a guest.

busydev

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 6:05 pm

BetsyTacy wrote:

you make seats for everyone... but have the caterer prepare less then you have seats for and it evens out. (most food is only served if someone is sitting there)

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 6:27 pm

I made a agrement with my caterer before the wedding if 4 people dont show
I do not have to pay for them
one relative brought her nanny so I had to pay for her

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 7:11 pm

Was this a lot of people? I can't imagine it was, because people aren't usually so rude as to no-show unless there's a good reason. If it was just a handful of people, well, that's because life gets in the way sometimes. People get sick, family crises happen, even occasionally people just plain forget. They may have not mentioned it to you afterward because it's really awkward and embarrassing, and they may have hoped that you were so busy by the simcha that you didn't notice they were missing.

I missed a good friend's bar mitzvah kiddush because I just totally forgot (had a huge fight with dh Shabbos morning and was a wreck) and felt mortified and didn't say anything to her. She brought it up though, and we cleared the air, so that was good. You could have said, "We missed you by xxxxxx" and given them the chance to apologize (and if you're thinking to yourself that their explanation sounds weak, keep in mind you probably don't want to know the real story).