bad gift!! help! | Imamother

amother

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 12:26 pm

im not looking for people to comment on how ungrateful or selfish I sound....just want to hear advice or stories!
I just saw what my husband got me for my b-day (saw the transaction on paypal....and got a little curious).
to put it lightly, its not my taste, it is a black/white tribal, hippy, boho bag that is fit for a teenager. very unattractive print and defiantly impractical! I don't want to have to use it, but he will notice if I dont! should I tell him....so he can cancel the transaction before it is sent?
there are so many things I would love!! and I make it so obvious, yet he orders this bummy looking bag!
if no advice at lease give me chizuk to wear it out and take one for the team!

Fox

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 12:53 pm

Hmmm . . . this is a tough one. I know it's not really helpful to say, "It depends," but that's the long and short of it, IMHO.

A lot of your response depends on what kind of gift-giver your DH is.

There are some people -- okay, mostly men -- who are very uncomfortable giving gifts in general and doubt their abilities to choose something appropriate. They are easily discouraged, and if they feel they've given something that wasn't enjoyed or appreciated, they eventually stop giving gifts altogether.

If that's your DH's gift-giving personality, then it's probably better to take one for the team and attempt to locate your inner tribal, boho personality.

On the other hand, some people are relatively confident in their roles as gift-givers and don't consider a gifting misstep as a reflection on their abilities or worth. These folks aren't in the least offended if you exchange something and will often encourage you to provide suggestions in advance.

If your DH falls into this category, then I'd wait until the bag arrives; then tactfully suggest that it probably looked a bit different online but is not really your style IRL.

Regardless of which category your DH falls into, I'm a big proponent of proactive gift intervention. I happily forward links to DH in advance, and I'll even place the order online if he forgets. Yes, I know: no romantic surprises. But no tribal boho bags, either!