Shabbos Tatie - too much junk!

watergirl

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 3:15 pm

My son is Shabbos Tatie this week - yay, hes so excited! A letter came home for me to sign and return so they know I got it. The letter has a list of the brachos with a line next to it, the teacher is supposed to check off which bracha I am supposed to send with my son for the treat. They are all circled - as in, one huge circle around the whole thing. It looked wrong, so I sent it back with a note asking which bracha to send. The teacher called me - ALL OF THEM!

That's right. She suggested cookies (mezonos), chips (adamah), raisins (eitz), and candy (shehakol) and grape juice! All for over 20 boys. I was shocked! I told her its way too much money to buy all of that. She told me that if its a hardship, they can have my son share it with another boy, although its not really "done" that way. Meaning, my little boy will have to share his special honor with another boy if I don't want to buy all that stuff.

Now, this isn't my first kid in school. But its the first time I have heard that the Shabbos abba/tatie has to provide all that nosh! And its no wonder his lunch is coming home on Fridays untouched.

So I bought it all. But I'm so upset about it!

and PS - for those who followed the recent food stamps thread, I posted under my own name yesterday. So I can say this - if there was anyone with enough yentishkeit to stalk me when I was paying, and notice a huge bag of chips, big package of cookies, and huge bag of lollipops, then swipe my foodstamps card... well, I hope my excuse for buying so much nosh passes your inspection.

youngishbear

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 3:25 pm

I've never heard of a brochos party that only one kid sponsors. Is this the teacher or the school's policy? What do other parents say about this?

Our boys don't do shabbos totties, they are just asked to bring a nosh on a rotating schedule.

The girls have a shabbos family, mommy totty daughter son etc so there's a variety of junk from different kids.

As if all that junk is necessary in order to instill a love for shabbos. Rolling Eyes

Fox

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 3:34 pm

This sounds like one of those ideas that seemed good at the time, but doesn't work out quite as expected.

I'm sure the teacher thought the idea of emphasizing the different brachos would be a good learning opportunity -- without thinking about the logistics of providing all the different food.

Given your description of the form, I'm also wondering if it was designed by another teacher or even group of teachers who intended to spread around the responsibility a bit -- but this teacher just decided to assign it all to a single parent each week.

Since the teacher doesn't seem to be very receptive to the financial or logistical issues involved in this scheme, I would bring it up to the principal in a low-key way, suggesting that the party be limited to grape juice and a single treat each week (alternating brachos, if desired) or that parents be asked to contribute a single item on any given week.

Providing *all* of that in a single week could derail anybody's food budget, not to mention turning the job into a virtual catering exercise!

vicki

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 3:48 pm

It is too much to expect one parent to send in.
I suspect it is not always done this way.
There was no reason to have separate checkboxes by each item if the whole list is always circled.

It would have said:
Congratulations Very Happy

, your son is Shabbos Tatie this week. Please send with your son the following items, etc...
Someone made an error in judgment. Speak to other mothers. See what they say.

staten islander

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 3:51 pm

I have never heard of this,making one person buy everything.As a matter of fact,my kids' school discourages in-school bday parties so that kids whose parents cant afford the donuts/pizza for the class don't feel left out. In a different school, I brought goodie bags for a bday party and the teacher very nicely said that they are not allowed for the same reason as above

momX4

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 4:20 pm

this is not acceptable. I would call the school.

my ds had the oppertunity to be shabbos totty in kindergarten. it was one nosh only. the next time I had a ds in kindergarten I noticed that there was no shabbos totty. the teacher gave out the nosh. I mentioned it to another parent. I spoke to the teacher a few days later and I was told that the shabbos totty was stopped because some families couldnt afford to buy a nosh. I was told a sponser came forward (I assume the other mother) and gave money so that if anyone complains then the teacher can buy the nosh that week. I dont know what happened, but every week the kids had a shabbos totty and they recieved ONE nosh.

watergirl

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 6:12 pm

Thanks everyone. There is no Shabbos mommy, and I guess only 1 boy gets to be tatie. I don't know other moms in his class, but other moms in the grade told me that the teachers all use the same form, the whole preschool, actually, but I think the other teachers ask each kid to bring 1 bracha only, and a few kids take turns. One teacher has 2 taties and they each bring 2 brachos. I think its crazy. Also, I cant imagine I'm the only one who doesn't like this, seeing as many parents in this school are keli kodesh and lets face it, we don't roll in the dough.