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Sleeping and independence



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amother


 

Post Sat, Dec 13 2014, 12:47 pm
My first baby is just about 3 months old. He's getting to be such a big boy and I'm starting to worry about routines. At this point, he naps either on me after nursing or in his stroller, either out on a walk or while I'm pushing him back and forth in the house. He falls asleep nursing in bed with me at night, and sleeps with me all night (wakes once or twice, eats, and goes back to bed). He hates being put in his crib and won't fall asleep without being pushed/rocked or fed.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who started out a bit overwhelmed and just kind of tried to get by and survive each day without really planning for the future. So my question is, if you had a similar situation with your baby, did you find it necessary to really change one day, like get him to fall asleep on his own and/or in his crib? If so, when/why/how? We are thinking to move his crib to the other room at about 6 months- would that be a good time to switch? Or is it just mean to let this become his routine for so long and then just decide to switch? Or should we wait until he's a year?

I know there are many who say to foster independence with this from birth, but I'm sure that's not everyone. Anyone have experience or advice on sticking with this way or making the switch? Thanks!
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 13 2014, 7:20 pm
amother wrote:
My first baby is just about 3 months old. He's getting to be such a big boy and I'm starting to worry about routines.


I think you need to readjust your thinking here. Three months old is still practically a new born! Nothing big boy about it.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 13 2014, 7:33 pm
Western culture places a bit of an outsized emphasis on independence, to the point where we worry about such trivialities as infant sleep routines potentially irreparably stunting independence down the line. I have yet to see anyone walk to the chuppah with an inability to "self-soothe" and sleep through the night, so you can calm down about starting routines at 3 months. Any routine you start will likely get derailed in a few weeks anyway when he catches some virus or relatives come to visit for a few day, or YT rolls around, or he sprouts some teeth and so on and so forth. The worst that will happen is that you start a a little too late and it's a little harder to get started than it would have been if you had started earlier. But in the long term, it makes zero difference. No need to stress, do what feels right in your gut. He'll be fine.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 13 2014, 7:36 pm
It is said that the first three months after birth are like the "fourth trimester." The baby is considered a newborn and has needs that are very similar to those in utero. Your baby is definitely not supposed to be at all independent at this stage! If you're finding it difficult to cope you can definitely make some adjustments to your routine. Otherwise, keep meeting his needs in the ways that make him happy.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Dec 13 2014, 7:49 pm
All my babies are like that! I don't make any changes suddenly. Most things I wait until the baby is at least a year old. First the baby is in a crib next to my bed and usually remains in my bed after the first awakening. At about a year, I move the crib to the other side of the room, closer to my husband's bed so that he is the first one to go to the baby when s/he wakes up. Then, once the kids sleeps a bit better (because they're not getting nursed at every awakening), I move the kid into another room. Every time s/he wakes up, I nurse. Then after awhile I switch from nursing to sippy cup or bottle (each kid according to preference). By the time we're all done, the baby is no longer a baby...
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 13 2014, 9:46 pm
Foster independence in a 3 mo??

No, you're supposed to be fostering attachment and trust.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Dec 13 2014, 11:56 pm
amother wrote:
All my babies are like that! I don't make any changes suddenly. Most things I wait until the baby is at least a year old. First the baby is in a crib next to my bed and usually remains in my bed after the first awakening. At about a year, I move the crib to the other side of the room, closer to my husband's bed so that he is the first one to go to the baby when s/he wakes up. Then, once the kids sleeps a bit better (because they're not getting nursed at every awakening), I move the kid into another room. Every time s/he wakes up, I nurse. Then after awhile I switch from nursing to sippy cup or bottle (each kid according to preference). By the time we're all done, the baby is no longer a baby...


OP here- thanks everyone, feeling much better about this! I was worried because people talk about having the baby in their bed after the first feeding pretty often, but that means the baby was in the crib to begin with. My baby has pretty much never slept in his crib! But I guess I can go with this baby steps approach and put the crib right next to my bed to start- so when I usually reach over a bit to put him down next to me, I'll then reach over a bit more to put him in the crib. Glad I can hold off a bit longer though. Thank you!!
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