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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
My anxious 3 year old



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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 16 2014, 9:21 pm
My 3.5 year old is afraid of practically everything! He gets hysterical at the doctors office, and just mentioning the barber brings him close to tears. Last summer, it took him three weeks of day camp before he would change into a bathing suit (though he would happily go into the pool with his clothing on, and wear his dry bathing suit home). You get the picture.

When he was finally toilet trained, he got hysterical about putting in his tzitzis, and I ended up sending them to playgroup on his briefcase where his teacher put them on him during davening time.

Now, Chanukah. He's been talking for weeks about the menorah, picked out the candles he wanted to light... but tonight when it was lighting time he started crying and refused to even touch the candle! Finally after about 40 minutes of coaxing, he lit his candle.

On top of this, his teacher has mentioned to us that he's extremely stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something, he will say straight out "I don't want to" "I don't care" etc...

Is this normal three year old behavior, or does he need some sort of therapy? (And if so, what?)
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 16 2014, 9:56 pm
First of all, it sounds like he has sensory issues. Can he explain to you exactly what the feeling is that he doesn't like? Doctor - fear of shots, cold stethoscope, the rustle of the paper on the table, the bright lights, all of that could be triggers. Barber - the sound of scissors too close to his ear, the tickle of a neck shaver, the itchy hairs under his collar. Tzitzit, dangling strings feeling weird, too many layers of clothing, fear of choking from the neckline. I'm sure you get the idea.

DD is 11 yo, and she's STILL terrified of fire. I've been trying to get her to light Shabbos candles since she was 3, and she will not do it. She has never been burned by fire, she's just worried that it will happen. She's not even confident with one of those huge fireplace matches.

If I were you, I would for sure have your DS evaluated for sensory integration disorder. That will be a huge help right there.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 16 2014, 10:18 pm
He hasn't had a shot from the doctor for over a year. I don't think it's so much a "thing" as much as just that anything new freaks him out. When we last took him to the doctor, he absolutely refused to stand on the scale by himself (I had to get weighed holding him and not holding him and calculating the difference.) and wouldn't even stand against the wall to get measured. (At home, he was okay with standing on my scale after the fact. It's the Doctor's Scale that scares him.) He has a doctor kit at home that he's happy to play with, but even just the waiting room makes him cry!

In the end, he told me that he was going to pretend they were shabbos candles (which he watches me light every week) and then he was 'able' to light them.
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