Baby names for baby following a stillbirth

amother

Tue, May 20 2014, 1:21 pm

tryinghard wrote:

Having (thank God) never been in the situation, I don't know if anyone wants to hear my opinion, but I wonder if it's fair to the living child to name something which may communicate "you are a replacement for your lost sibling". It may be an unfair burden to place on this child - this new bracha which Hashem has given you, not just as a nechama for your loss, but as a gift unto his or herself. Why are you tying this child's identity to the previous child? I understand that for yourself, the new baby is a tremendous comfort, but a child should be loved for who they are, and every child deserves their own individual identity.

I sincerely apologize if I cause anyone pain with my post, but I want to stand for the children who by definition cannot tell you this.

above was quoted wrong...

im sorry, I disagree, having a stillbirth is a major incident in someones life that we go on forever not being allowed to talk about it. so many dreams were shattered!

I would think of a name like "Yehudis or Yehuda" to give "thanks" that everything went ok

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:13 pm

I had a 42 week stillbirth and then 11 months later had my rainbow baby. Whatever people might think those two babies are connected. My rainbow is loved as a seperate person, he is his own person and will never have the burden of his brother not being here, but they are connected hense his name is very much based on what happened.
His name portrays simcha, happiness and blessing!!!! Hashem took back a pure neshama and in his place gave us a beautiful gift how can they not be connected? Without each other we would not have been blessed with them both, I love both my babies and one day when moshiach comes we will be reunited with our special neshama! !!!!!

amother

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 12:48 am

[quote="agreer"]

happymom4 wrote:

Give any name that makes you feel blessed with your special new addition! He/she will bring you comfort regadless of the name. Years from now, I would rather tell a child stories about the great grandparent they were named after instead of the sibling that was never born.
B'sha Tova![/quote]

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't have a relative, pick a tzaddik or special person in your life.

You know my stillborn baby was/is the special person in my life, I wish people would stop telling me hes not!!!!!!! To choose a name connected to him is perfectly okey, to portray thanks, simcha, happiness, etc... is special and only right. Amother your amazing, go with whatever name you want, I am hoping by now you have your precious little rainbow or well on your way to having him/her. Xxxxxx

amother

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 1:18 am

tryinghard wrote:

Thanks for the feedback - makes me think a little. Though I still stand with my position, I am glad that it works so well for you and your daughter both, and what she said is a very beautiful statement.

You know what bh you have never experienced a stillbirth and I am presuming that you have no family members or close friends who have have bh!!!! But when you have, your thoughts totally change on the subject. For instance I lost a son. I always thought before I lost him anyone who has a stillbirth the next pregnancy will want the opposite gender. I totally suprised myself at the 20 week scan I was jumping for joy the fact he was a boy. I guess what I am saying is you have to understand a woman who has a stillbirth experience emotions and thoughts that can never put into words, the hurts, the turmoil, the pain, the emptiness, the total despair! !!!! So when we become pregnant again and eventually after the longest 9 months in the world full of trauma, hope and confusion a live healthy baby is born why would we not want to name that baby after the evens that just took place. The total relief, joy and happiness just explodes from us, its amazing and we want to mark that with the name we give out babies. Besides arnt all names chosen by hashem anyways? You wouldnt say to a mother who has waited 8 years for a baby and gone through several ivf treatments and has a baby that they should not call them simcha, brocha, refoel, nechama, etc... would you? So whats the difference with after a stillbirth. My babies name has so much thought, love and thankfulness attached to it that when I tell people of it they have tears in their eyes, oh thats men as welll lol!!!!!