How Tznius Saved Me

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How Tznius Saved Me

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amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 8:27 pm

OP here.

Wow, wow, wow.. thanks so much for all of your kind words. I literally sat down at my computer this morning (luckily it was nap time at my house) and just wrote and wrote until I got this all out.

Just to clarify a few things, especially if there are others out there with these problems, I'd like to mention a few of my experiences that I hope might be helpful regarding the sweating and hair removal.

1. Certain Dri did not work for me, AT ALL, not even for a day. I had a prescription for Drysol once, but it made my skin itch and burn so badly I couldn't sleep at night. After a short time, it also stopped working. One product I found that DID work for several months (I only discovered this as an adult) is something called Maxim. If anyone has serious issues like I do, this may be "it". It's only $15. Unfortunately, my body also became resistant to it but at least for a few months I felt free. I tried it again years later and got the same relief for a few months.

2. I have done laser hair removal twice. One treatment on my face, and many years later another treatment on my face and arms/hands. It partially worked on my arms but not at all on my face. In fact, the laser actually made things WORSE. Here's why: what they did not tell me is that you have to be extremely careful where they use the laser. If hair is blonde and the laser is used on it repeatedly, it can actually turn the hair dark and coarse. In my case, I have places on my neck and face where there was not a lot of dark hair, but just enough to bother me. They lasered the entire area, which has now left the blonde hair a lot more noticeable AND it created more dark hair.

Also, I had to chuckle at the shorts/escalator story, but I do believe there are far too many pubes questions/comments on this site already (seriously, if you can't figure out what to do with that region, why do you think anyone else can help?!), so I hope this doesn't turn into another variation on those threads. Thanks Smile

proudema

Thu, May 08 2014, 8:28 pm

I'm very surprised your doc never recommended a visit to an endocrinologist. The extra body hair and sweating sound like hormonal problems. I would suggest you go to one and get tested for hormonal imbalance or genetic disorders. It could be as simple as needing hormone meds and these issues will lessen or even go away completely.

amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 9:21 pm

proudema wrote:

OP again.

Believe it or not, none of my doctors had ever suggested that. I personally had to ask for blood tests to see if my hormones were the issue and every test always came back normal. I was diagnosed with mild PCOS as a teen but after I got married, I got re-tested and apparently everything looks fine. It's something that I will keep looking into, but don't put too much hope into it.

Just another reason I ended up believing this is really just my personal test from Hashem.

amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 9:33 pm

Going to a good endocrinologist is a good idea. Find a good one woth a good reputation.
You can look into Botox treatment for the sweating problem.

amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 9:34 pm

thanks for sharing. your article is very well written and touching. best of luck to you.

by my wedding, someone lent me washable fabric underarm guards. would s/t like that work for you?

amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 9:38 pm

There are some genetic disorders in which women have for example, more testosterone, or xxy chromosomes, or other permutations, that cause them to have some masculine features, like coarse body hair. You are definitely not alone. Just as you kept your body a secret, many others are doing the same, so you wouldn't know. My understanding is that there are hormone treatments, and pills that can help control these symptoms. Wonderful that you used Halacha and spirituality to heal your psyche, but if you're interested, I'm sure there are medical ways to treat the symptoms, if they are still causing you discomfort. Either way, kudos on overcoming a personal challenge.

amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 10:20 pm

First of all - you are extremely inspiring! Second, I had all the same symptoms and after going to numerous endocrinologists, I finally got a diagnosis. Apparently, there is a genetic mutation that affects a very small percentage of Ashkenazic Jews and it only comes out if you inherit the genes from both parents. It is a recessive gene so it is extremely uncommon. After many blood tests and genetic testing, they diagnosed me with non-classic 21 hydroxylase deficiency. The most common symptoms are excessive hair growth on face, chest, etc as well as excessive sweating. Other symptoms are irregular menstrual cycles, terrible acne as a teenager and short stature. I am now on medicine and my symptoms have dramatically improved. You should definitely check it out.

amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 10:34 pm

Just testing blood for hormone issues isn't good enough. Those tests won't detect a genetic disorder such as non classic adrenal hyperplasia which I was diagnosed with. A lot of Ashkenazim have it. Go to a good endo and he/she will do specific testing for specific disorders. I was thought to have mild PCOS but upon further specific testing this is what I was diagnosed with. Hatzlacha!!

amother

Thu, May 08 2014, 10:38 pm

Non classic adrenal hyperplasia and non classic 21 hydroxylase deficiency are one and the same. Which doctor do you use? I used to go to dr new at mount Sinai but the associate I was seeing moved. I need a good endocrinologist that is familiar with this issue.

Ashrei

Thu, May 08 2014, 11:03 pm

OP! What a beautiful and inspiring article! You should see yourself in olam haba, in the world of truth you are more beautiful than any of us! I had to 'like' your post where you stated that you felt this was your personal test from Hashem. You are strong, and directed, and Hashem should continue to bench you with open bracha and abundance in everything.

amother

Fri, May 09 2014, 1:15 am

Being Tznius saved my dh.

My dh used to swim in Miami Beach every summer before he became religious. He did not use sunscreen.

Now my dh has melanoma and needs to go every few months to have patches of skin cut away and remaining skin stitched together. But at least he now is frum and stopped swimming on the beach years ago.

If he wasn't frum and still going to the beach, things might be much worse.

devo1982

Fri, May 09 2014, 12:59 pm

OP, thank you for sharing such a vulnerable story with us.

If you've never explored the option, Botox can be used to treat severe sweating that is unresponsive to even prescription strength antiperspirants. It might be worth talking to someone about - then you can be modest and wear more colors (assuming you would like to). Smile

amother

Fri, May 09 2014, 2:11 pm

Sending you hugs OP! You are beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for sharing. My mother also was very critical of my body and me and my sisters all have body image issues. Lesson for moms, to be careful what you say to your daughters.

watergirl

Fri, May 09 2014, 3:37 pm

amother wrote:

Going to a good endocrinologist is a good idea. Find a good one woth a good reputation.
You can look into Botox treatment for the sweating problem.

The botox is what I was going to recommend.

greenfire

Fri, May 09 2014, 3:46 pm

growing up sounded difficult ... thank you for sharing what must have been very emotional for you to share

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Hug

}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 9:07 am

I know this thread is months old but I want to tell you OP (if you are reading this) that you are a very strong lady! thank you for sharing your story.
Also - if I may ask - you said you don't discuss this with your husband, but has he noticed? Also, how often do you need to remove your hair and what method do you use?

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 6:58 pm

I know this thread is still months old but I am another sweaty female. It's actually a disorder, its called hyperhidrosis- your body secretes more sweat then is needed to cool your body. For me I a either always cold or always sweating- I have no middle comfort zone. I have tried drysol as well, but you're right, it burns so bad you feel like your underarms are on fire- after about a half hour, it cools down. I spoke to a dermatologist about this and she said it is more common the you think. She also told me that people do botox and it just causes the sweat to come from a different area. she said she has people coming to her to complain about swampy butt because they did botox under there arms and the sweat starting coming out of their behind. I have noticed myself that when I did drysol the sweat stopped from under my arms and started pouring from my hands. I would rather cover up with a thicker material shirt than not be able to use my hands, so I stopped the drysol and try to look for good smelling deodorant. If the deodorant won't work, at least I will smell good when I do sweat. OP you are not alone!

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 7:15 pm

New amother.

Dressing tznius saved me from cheating on my ex.

My ex was abusive and I was tempted by a coworker when I was still married. But I would never dress untznius with someone who was not my spouse. This literally saved me.

When I got my Get, I lost the desire to be with my coworker.

tzniutfashion

Wed, Dec 31 2014, 11:50 am

This is what I've heard from teenagers who are undergoing puberty with underarm-sweating. They much prefer to wear clothing that are looser at the underarms. So, for instance, a tight shell will not work for them. Staining will occur on the tight shell at the underarm area. I make modest shells for them that in general meet tznius guidelines and have a nice comfortable ease at the sleeves. They are so thankful to me that I can put their comfort level at ease both emotionally and physically. So, yes, dressing b'tznius is something that Hashem wants us girls and women to do by default and that translates to looser clothing that is comfortable and pleases Hashem.

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