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Spinoff: Recognize pple from posts - Imamother
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:21 pm
Yael,

As you can see, people sometimes can be identified from their posts and it could hurt them in the long run.

Please remove threads older than two years old, except for innocuous recipe threads.

Now that nearly all frum women have access to Imamother, the stuff here can be damaging for shidduchim and employment.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:25 pm
that's like erasing a great movie/novel - it just doesn't happen

some of us have memories here of friends long gone

oh puhleeze - get a grip [or stop posting]
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:29 pm
its true- I use imamother as a way to ask very personal questions or vent about things that I feel like I can't speak to anyone else about. Someone in my family recognized me and I feel very hurt and vulnerable. she now has been causing major problems in my family because of private posts that I wrote and her nosy personality. no one would want this. please erase old posts!
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rising hero




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:30 pm
Confused Wth?? You can't be serious! Anything a person posts is her responsibility alone. And she can edit if she feels she shared too much. You don't expect thousands of threads to be deleted, do you?
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ROFL




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:35 pm
I have seen some posts on here that say deleted instead of a message. If someone is so identified they can delete their posts.
I know when I post thing I take into account that we are on the internet and anyone ( including the North Korean govt) can hack into it and discover what I wrote.
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bluebird




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:39 pm
I have posted personal things as amother, and the advice and support I received are still valuable to me. I sometimes go back and reread those threads and others. I would hate to lose them.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:56 pm
amother wrote:
its true- I use imamother as a way to ask very personal questions or vent about things that I feel like I can't speak to anyone else about. Someone in my family recognized me and I feel very hurt and vulnerable. she now has been causing major problems in my family because of private posts that I wrote and her nosy personality. no one would want this. please erase old posts!


there are 22,948 registered users ~ are you aware of the likelihood of anybody guessing whom you are is like finding a needle in a haystack ... so many people have similarities from health issues to marital issues to issues of suicidality or crazy kids ...

now if you told me you joined 8 years ago back in late november when there were more like 1,747 registered users - it was easier to figure someone out ... especially if you were the only one who joined that night

never out yourself to a nosy anybody - they don't really know anything for sure - they simply assume & you know what that makes ... an @$$ out of U & ME [allegedly]
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:58 pm
A mistake was made regarding my identity.

I'm sure people make wrong assumptions more often than they do right ones.

It wasnt me
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 5:01 pm
amother wrote:
Yael,

As you can see, people sometimes can be identified from their posts and it could hurt them in the long run.

Please remove threads older than two years old, except for innocuous recipe threads.

Now that nearly all frum women have access to Imamother, the stuff here can be damaging for shidduchim and employment.


http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....88419

if your basing your information on the poll in this thread - you are quick to jump the gun ... to this point & time, only 18 posters voted in the poll ... can't mean anything at all
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 5:06 pm
greenfire wrote:
there are 22,948 registered users ~ are you aware of the likelihood of anybody guessing whom you are is like finding a needle in a haystack ... so many people have similarities from health issues to marital issues to issues of suicidality or crazy kids ...

now if you told me you joined 8 years ago back in late november when there were more like 1,747 registered users - it was easier to figure someone out ... especially if you were the only one who joined that night

never out yourself to a nosy anybody - they don't really know anything for sure - they simply assume & you know what that makes ... an @$$ out of U & ME [allegedly]


I once made the mistake of posting too much information.

I am telling you that there were several people who cut off ties with me as a result. I can name exactly six people who cut off ties following this post.
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smilingmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 5:31 pm
I often post about my job, which makes me very identifiable, but just in case that isn't clear enough, my signature on my posts include my website which has my real name.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 5:34 pm
youngishbear wrote:
A mistake was made regarding my identity.

I'm sure people make wrong assumptions more often than they do right ones.

It wasnt me


Someone PM'd me, SURE that I'm someone else IRL. I told her that I'm not that person and that I'm not playing this guessing game regarding who I am. I'm fairly sure she still believes this. I think more people guess wrong than right.
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teacherfeigy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 7:02 pm
This is exactly why we should choose a username that is too difficult to guess. BUT. There are always those who want to do harm in one way or another, they might not even realize that what they are doing is wrong. We must be assertive enough to not let them undermine us in any way. There are social workers and confidential guides (even over the phone, for free) who can help in situations where we have trouble sticking up for ourselves. This absolutely does not mean there is something wrong with us. Just the opposite, every person is born with a set amount of knowledge and nisyoinis. There is no way we can know what to do in every instance, because we are not designed for it. Asking advice is just human.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 9:50 pm
What is going to be in ten years when our daughters and daughters-in-law are on this site? What will be when our Mechutanim are on this site?

Please, Yael. I beg you to remove personal-type threads/posts after two years.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 9:57 pm
amother wrote:
What is going to be in ten years when our daughters and daughters-in-law are on this site? What will be when our Mechutanim are on this site?

Please, Yael. I beg you to remove personal-type threads/posts after two years.

They're here already, you just don't know yet that they are your mechutanim!!
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smilingmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 22 2014, 3:55 am
Dear amother,
I think your issues are much greater than two year old posts.
I think your fear of shidduchim may be warranted, but misplaced. If peoples are able to recognize you from your post, and can identify problem issues that effect shidduchim that are there regardless of imamother, what is the problem?
Perhaps it is a good thing that the problem is known before a shidduch is made, it may help avert future issues.
When I check into shidduchim, I do an extensive internet search, including many databases, forums and support groups. I asked Daas Torah if I can rely on info gleaned from forums where people are 'anonymous' but identifiable and was told yes.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 22 2014, 6:06 pm
smilingmom wrote:
Dear amother,
I think your issues are much greater than two year old posts.
I think your fear of shidduchim may be warranted, but misplaced. If peoples are able to recognize you from your post, and can identify problem issues that effect shidduchim that are there regardless of imamother, what is the problem?
Perhaps it is a good thing that the problem is known before a shidduch is made, it may help avert future issues.
When I check into shidduchim, I do an extensive internet search, including many databases, forums and support groups. I asked Daas Torah if I can rely on info gleaned from forums where people are 'anonymous' but identifiable and was told yes.


1. So far, how many shidduchim have you nixed because of Imamother?

2. What type of posts prompt a shidduch cancellation?
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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 22 2014, 6:07 pm
greenfire wrote:
http://imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3188419#3188419

if your basing your information on the poll in this thread - you are quick to jump the gun ... to this point & time, only 18 posters voted in the poll ... can't mean anything at all


There are now 154 voters. This proves my point.
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mfb




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 22 2014, 7:55 pm
amother wrote:
There are now 154 voters. This proves my point.


I think the poll actually proves how few pple can figure others out. Most pple voted between 0-2. I was one of them. The pple I recognize are ones that basically gave themselves away. (Ex: very specific info under screen name). I never figured out an amother.
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 22 2014, 8:08 pm
amother wrote:
Yael,

As you can see, people sometimes can be identified from their posts and it could hurt them in the long run.

Please remove threads older than two years old, except for innocuous recipe threads.

Now that nearly all frum women have access to Imamother, the stuff here can be damaging for shidduchim and employment.


I hope you're joking. That would totally ruin the site. Why in the world would Yael do that?
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