rude guests (venting)

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Rude guests (venting)

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amother

Sat, Dec 20 2014, 7:42 pm

just venting...a couple were by us for Shabbos & shortly after havdalah/menorah lighting, the husband started acting strange/ didn't show interest in talking & before you know it they pack up & leave without even a thank you. he might have said "good voch" from the front door. the wife did stop to say thank you/kiss ...and the weekend is over. just a weird feeling how they left....

esther09

Sat, Dec 20 2014, 7:51 pm

Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they had just had a fight, maybe they weren't feeling well, etc.

MamaBear

Sat, Dec 20 2014, 8:03 pm

The wife was polite at least. Something obviously happened. Let it go

greenfire

Sat, Dec 20 2014, 8:05 pm

sounds like the husband was uncomfortable - but the wife still appreciated the invite

maybe he just wanted to light menora at home ...

maybe this maybe that

I would call her later & ask if everything is alright - maybe

or maybe they just planned to leave right after shabbos

amother

Sat, Dec 20 2014, 8:07 pm

Mikva night??

But that would make the mrs more nervous than the mister...

Hmm. Whatever it is, they must either have plans for the evening or something came up. Nothing to do with you.

Ruchel

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 7:52 am

I would call and try to get an explanation as to the rudeness (without mentioning he was rude, just omg we're worried).

Heyaaa

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 8:19 am

Maybe he had a loose stomach and needed to get to his toilet. Maybe they just remembered they forgot to lock their house. Maybe they got a disturbing voicemail and were freaking out over it. Maybe the Mikva. Maybe he forgot his meds. IOW a million things could've happened and they didn't mean to be rude.

Learning

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 8:29 am

Was the husband nice and polite during Shabbos or is he weird and rude overall?

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 11:04 am

they lit the menorah here, no mikva night, they did plan to stay to play a game (spoke about it Thursday night)--husband can definitely be weird.....I was just venting. horrible feeling how they left. look if something came up, that's fine; just be normal & say need to leave bec so & so, or we have to go......whatever. will be fine.....

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 4:27 pm

They might have a lousy marriage that you may not know about.

I remember how embarrassed I was when my ex did things that were questionable and people would get upset with me since we were married at the time. He never listened to me then and certainly not now that we divorced.

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 11:19 pm

amother wrote:

Mikva night??

But that would make the mrs more nervous than the mister...

.

But the mr. might be in more of a rush to get down to business.

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 11:21 pm

amother wrote:

This! I can't tell you how many times I am cringing, thinking please don't judge me by my husband.

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 11:33 pm

I got terrible news about a relative on a motzei shabbos when I was in someone's house. We were meant to stay over until Sunday but I was in really bad shape. It was not public knowledge and I could not share it with the host nor was I in any condition to pack up or say good bye. I went to the car & left all that to my husband. I saw that host many times after and she never mentioned anything. I was grateful not to be put on the spot. A few months later, it became public knowledge. When the host found out she asked me something along the lines of did you find out on the motzei shabbos of x shabbos? When I said yes she said oh now it all makes sense. It must've been so hard for you.....
Point being, don't judge! You may find out or you may not but for right now it's not your business.

amother

Sun, Dec 21 2014, 11:49 pm

I once did this, left someones house without saying gbye or thank you. we literally escaped the min it was motzei--I was early in my pregnancy and started bleeding heavily, miscarried in their toilet. was torture. my husband called a couple weeks later to explain, but there was no way we were able to face anyone and be all polite after what we had just experienced.

so I guess what im trying to say is, never judge anyone and always give benefit of doubt...ya just never know

amother

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 12:59 am

This is why I love imamother.

Random situations, various perspectives, and you learn so much from and about people and human nature.

If there's one takeaway, its to always be dlkz.

Hugs to the amother with the cringeworthy husband. How do you put up with it? Do you otherwise respect him? I need help with this.

Roots

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 7:56 am

Quote:

This is why I love imamother
Random situations, various perspectives, and you learn so much from and about people and human nature.

so true

greenfire

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 8:23 am

just thinking aloud - could it be someone in your home said something rude & caused him to run off

quite often people jest at the expense of others

tag

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 8:52 am

Its possible the wife said to him.. Why cant u be more like her husband... So he got all angry

amother

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 8:53 am

I'm the original OP - thanks for all your responses! I asked everyone in my house what happened between Shalosh Seudos & Havdalah; if anything went wrong & no-one knows. the Mrs. did tell me the next day that a cousin came by.....I am trying hard not to be "DLKZ".....it will take few days to get passed this.......thanks for your responses!!!

greenfire

Mon, Dec 22 2014, 11:45 am

best to be dlkz vs not Wink

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