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Forum -> Household Management
I Have Two Modes ON and OFF



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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 11:33 am
Not sure what to do. I have written about some of my dilemmas under the name ADD Mom. (Sorry, too scared to use my "real" SN!) I am be"H going to start getting the cleaning help I was thinking about. But, non-withstanding what was said above, I have a bigger issue to address. I've realized that I have 2 modes when it comes to almost anything. I'm either ON or OFF. When I am ON, I am a hurricane of energy. I can clean. I can do dishes. I can do laundry. I can do anything! When I am OFF, I only do things I need to do to "survive" domestic life ex. if there are no shirts (at all), I'll do a load. Nothing to eat on, I'll wash a dish or two. I'll make supper, but it will be nothing special. I'll read a book and refuse to put it down. I'll go on the computer and won't come off, until I absolutely have to.
Only, I often turn OFF in the middle of an ON spurt causing a bigger mess b/c I start cleaning projects and stop in the middle. I don't know what to do. How can I make ON moments happen for the majority of the time. I have noticed that if I am in an OFF mode and I push myself, it could s/t turn into an ON mode, but not always. I really need to be ON to juggle my house and my family.

Help!
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 11:35 am
Isn't that the basic definition of add, extreme focus on the interest of the moment but lack of stick-to-itness?

I asked if anyone knows of therapy for a teenager with adhd. I recieved no replies...
Sad
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bigsis144




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 12:30 pm
You sound like me! Hug
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 12:32 pm
someone needs to make a new mode - things work better with multiple settings
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 1:29 pm
amother wrote:
Isn't that the basic definition of add, extreme focus on the interest of the moment but lack of stick-to-itness?

I asked if anyone knows of therapy for a teenager with adhd. I recieved no replies...
Sad


I really would like to avoid therapy if possible. As a child, I had therapy but still have a negative taste in my mouth from it as I never wanted it b/c of this, it didn't help, just made me feel stupid as therapy was an embaressment unlike today when it's accepted and commendable. As a child, I was on medicine for several yrs. for depression/anxiety, but the medicine made me feel sick (only discovered this by accident after a long time). I dropped it cold-turkey at 14. I took control of my life. Made more friends. Figured out systems for myself and did very well scholastically. Denied the ADD b/c I surpassed it. The depression went away, the anxiety is much more in check... B"H! But, now I want to be a domestic success. I just don't know how to motivate myself. The house runs. Everyone has clothes and food, but it's not smooth and I don't feel so good Sad. Right now it's just a couple and a baby. I want to have a big family, but have no idea how I"ll manage, if I am barely managing NOW!
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 1:36 pm
in a way one is forced to manage. I learned that if there are systems in place its easier to get things done etc.

I have to get off the computer b/c I need to get up on time and put the kids on the bus if not I get to take them across the boro to school. not good.

www.aslobcomesclean.com, its a helpful website. I can relate to her way of thinking
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 3:41 pm
I am not the OP but I came on right now to create 2 posts and after reading yours I think I'll just comment here and hopefully it wont take over your original post but maybe people can help both of us. I'll save my second question for its own post

Recently I have been also feeling like I am not motivated, I am SO CAPABLE and have so much potential to be "superwoman" but I'm lazy. I cant get my act together. I've gone through the "what benefit do I get by being lazy?" and the truth is I dont get any benefit although maybe my dh will say "poor her" but why would I want that, I dont want him to view me in a negative way.

So then I started thinking that maybe I am ADD. I understand the ADD evaluation process for a child but how does that work for an adult? Talking to a therapist/neurologist? How are they able to diagnose me? If I am ADD and I am fooling everyone except myself why wouldnt I fool a doctor?
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amother


 

Post Sun, Dec 21 2014, 10:40 pm
amother wrote:
I am not the OP but I came on right now to create 2 posts and after reading yours I think I'll just comment here and hopefully it wont take over your original post but maybe people can help both of us. I'll save my second question for its own post

Recently I have been also feeling like I am not motivated, I am SO CAPABLE and have so much potential to be "superwoman" but I'm lazy. I cant get my act together. I've gone through the "what benefit do I get by being lazy?" and the truth is I dont get any benefit although maybe my dh will say "poor her" but why would I want that, I dont want him to view me in a negative way.

So then I started thinking that maybe I am ADD. I understand the ADD evaluation process for a child but how does that work for an adult? Talking to a therapist/neurologist? How are they able to diagnose me? If I am ADD and I am fooling everyone except myself why wouldnt I fool a doctor?


ADD Mom aka OP here. Yes, I know exactly what you're saying. My OFF mode is basically being lazy. I'm just able to see it as a "switch" b/c there are times when I am so NOT lazy. I don't have a lazy personality.

The only thing that helps me is to just get up and start doing. Often, s/t will snap and I'll just keep going (will turn ON). Also, once I am ON, I'll try to maximize. Most ppl probably wouldn't do as much as me at once, but I don't know what later will bring and I have to seize the moment. Now, I am looking for solutions to motivate myself more, turn ON more. If I could stay ON for the majority of the day, that would make life much smoother.

As for your potential ADD quandary, why don't you google it and see if you have more symptoms? Although, be wary. If I used Dr. Internet, I would have numerous sicknesses cv"s. I have a few symptoms of a lot of things, but it doesn't mean I have the condition.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 22 2014, 1:28 am
If you'd read the Myers-Briggs personality scale, you'd see that there is a whole population of people who do all that "on" stuff in spurts. Then we get burned out and need 'down time'. We tend to 'over focus' on things, turning a simple clean-up onto a whole deep-cleaning or organizational project...until our energy drains. While doing things that stimulate our minds gives us a sense of fulfillment, enthusiasm, purpose, and a recharging of batteries..

Whether or not you're ADD doesn't matter unless you plan to medicate. Which, it doesn't sound here, like you need to do. Self acceptance and ways to accommodate and manipulate your inherent personality strengths, would be more productive, imo.

What I do is give myself permission to work in spurts. I bribe myself. And I manipulate my impulses to get the most out of my little spurt of energy. I also realize and respect the need to recharge.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 22 2014, 3:40 am
chani8 wrote:
If you'd read the Myers-Briggs personality scale, you'd see that there is a whole population of people who do all that "on" stuff in spurts. Then we get burned out and need 'down time'. We tend to 'over focus' on things, turning a simple clean-up onto a whole deep-cleaning or organizational project...until our energy drains. While doing things that stimulate our minds gives us a sense of fulfillment, enthusiasm, purpose, and a recharging of batteries..

Whether or not you're ADD doesn't matter unless you plan to medicate. Which, it doesn't sound here, like you need to do. Self acceptance and ways to accommodate and manipulate your inherent personality strengths, would be more productive, imo.

What I do is give myself permission to work in spurts. I bribe myself. And I manipulate my impulses to get the most out of my little spurt of energy. I also realize and respect the need to recharge.


Thanks, this was helpful. I am into the Myers-Brigg stuff. What you wrote is very true and validating.
I mentioned that I am ADD b/c I have a diagnosis so I wasn't especially interested in hearing responses like "sounds like ADD or bipolar or whatever" as a response to my OP. I would love to hear from other people w/ ADD or ppl who have had spurt issues to hear how they work and what they do to make things work.
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