After school for the little ones

seeker

Wed, Jan 07 2015, 10:09 pm

We start with bathroom time and then snacks/drinks.

Then they often want some just quiet playing time, school has been stimulating enough. We don't have tons of toys out at a time. Usually if they are looking for downtime they go for something like dollhouse, coloring, etc. Then once they are settled and engrossed in that I have a bit of downtime myself, but need to keep an eye on things.

When they start looking antsy it's time for a more mom-directed activity. I randomize - sometimes I'll take out a game or craft that they haven't done in a while (everyday toys are kept out, but due to space constraints many games/toys are on top of a closet and I get to be gatekeeper) so for example yesterday's activity was stamping. Just took out a simple pack of stamps and washable ink pads, they started by just stamping randomly and then I showed older DD how you can make pictures by combining stamped and drawn elements, and she made cards for all kinds of people that way. Other days it'll be bathtime - sensory, calming, engaging, and gets them clean. I know it's not the most hygienic but usually it's a combined bath, because otherwise my kids will just be filthy all the time because I don't know how other people manage to supervise a child in a bath and others out of the bath at the same time! When the weather allows it can be outdoor time, even yesterday it was freezing but we went to check out the snow - we were out in the cold for maybe 5 minutes, but getting bundled up and unbundled made it quite a long adventure and the change of scenery alone is enough to do what I call "press the reset button."

Regarding videos, if you make it a non-option then it won't be. If your kids are used to it this will take some weaning and probably a lot of whining but if this is important to you you make it happen. In our family screen time is a very very rare treat. My kids know most of the time it doesn't even pay to ask, and they also know exactly which times are worth asking. They aren't any more clever than your kids; kids know what you will put up with.

Then we do a little cleanup, supper, and straight to pajamas and bedtime.

None of this always goes as smoothly as I make it sound here. But I don't feel like my life is generally a disaster.
I incentivize bedtime. If the kids want dessert (which I don't always have but if they are asking I can usually come up with something. "Dessert" on weeknights is always fruit - applesauce, grapes, etc. So not a health issue) they need to be in pajamas first - and fast. If they don't cooperate they lose bedtime stories. Whoever says Shema nicely gets a sticker (which is generally both kids, every time, because I keep my standards low - I want them to have positive associations with davening. The point is to get them calm and not horsing around at this point, since it's the last stop before hoped-for sleep) and then I put on music to help them fall asleep. I used to try classical music that is meant to be calming but I find I am having much better results with story tapes because my older DD will often stay quiet because she wants to hear what's happening - and staying quiet solves half the battle.

B"H my kids have fairly agreeable personalities (though they have their shtick too) so if you feel like you wouldn't be able to relate to any of this, it could be that your kids are just more difficult. but I thought I'd put the suggestions out here anyway just in case it's what you were looking for.

granolamom

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 7:54 pm

my kids were not fairly agreeable at that age. its tough. I also found that the videos were getting out of hand so we went cold turkey. after a week or so of tantrums, they got used to it and surprisingly, our afternoons got easier than when I was allowing some tv viewing. none is easier than some, ime.

what time is bedtime? how many hours/children are we talking about?

and it depends on your kids personalities of course. one of my kids was happiest cleaning, he would spray the bathroom and wipe the tiles for what seemed like hours. happily. another kid was only happy while I was reading to him. but I did find it easiest when I had a plan. break up the hours somehow.

MMCH

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 8:17 pm

oh thats the toughest hour.
my girls are 4 and 2. Last year we went to cold turkey with the watching after school.

Now I limit it to one wathcing, 20 minutes, after the bath and in pjs. and btw, like someone mentioned be4, bc I limited it, and made very set clear rules about school nights, they don't even ask me until after the bath.

So we get home at 4 ish, (and bed times usually btwn 7&730) my older one goes straight to coloring. I keep all markers, crayons, colored pencils in a big bucket, and she takes out her coloring books, and she's instantly relaxed when she colors.

My 2 year old is more difficult at this time, and usually just needs me to hold her.
I try to bake with them once a week.
they LOVE to wash the dishes and play with the sink water.
they love to look at family albums
they love to help me re-organize things, like a bucket of toys, or a junk drawer.

good luck. btw I found once my daughter turned 4, she was getting easier after school . (as opposed to 2 and 3, where she was so much more exhausted and didn't know what to do with her self)

anonymrs

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 10:20 pm

seeker wrote:

Seeker, you sound like an amazing mother!!

seeker

Fri, Jan 09 2015, 1:05 am

anonymrs wrote:

Seeker, you sound like an amazing mother!!

Oh, in my dreams. But I do have some good ideas sometimes. And like I said, I am blessed, don't know what I'd do if my kids didn't happen to just love playing with dolls. Actually I do remember a time... also they go in and out of stages. I don't have fun activities planned every day, and some days we have appointments or errands or stuff that takes chunks of time so there's no long afternoon at home. Taking the kids shopping or whatever is a real shlep and can be a pain too (see this is what I mean by stages - there was a time when shopping was an adventure for them. Now it's always a kvetch fest) but it has to get done and then you don't use up all your craft ideas in one week. Then there was the time when they came down with ear infections, one child at a time of course, and each needing follow-ups at different times, so voila 2 weeks worth of after-school activity was dominated by bundling up, getting into the car, going to the pediatrician, waiting there, etc, getting back. So basically long afternoons happen but not every day so they don't become a serious ongoing issue. It's more like "hey this is the second afternoon in a row we've just been drifting around the house, we should probably bake cookies or something" and it doesn't even always have to be that complicated or messy, you could just as easily say "let's do a puzzle together." It doesn't matter, the only thing that makes a difference is everyone's mood...