Is this CIO? | Imamother

amother

Wed, Jan 14 2015, 9:59 pm

My 16 month old has been having a hard time falling asleep the past few days. I realize that it may be time to transition to 1 nap a day and will start the process tomorrow. Tonight, he refused to go to bed at bedtime so I tried to put him back in an hour later. I knew he was fed (had just given him a piece of bread prior to the second try), clean diaper and had given him Tylenol and teething tablets in case of teething. He had his special blankie, a plush monkey that sings and lights up and his bottle. He cried for 10 minutes and then kvetched/cried on of for 10 more. After 25 minutes total he was sleeping. Is this CIO?? I feel horrible for letting him cry, he was just overtired and no matter what I did he wouldn't go to sleep. I have not done CIO, and I respond to his cries as soon as I can. The only option would be to let him stay up till 12 while he kvetched and begged to go to sleep...and continue the cycle. Will his trust be broken, as I didn't respond to his cries?

Anon as I spoke to my sis about this and she may be on this site.

torquoise

Wed, Jan 14 2015, 10:14 pm

What you did was wonderful - for your baby (he needed sleep), for you (it's good for your home to have guidelines and bedtimes) and for your family (you are getting great experience as a mother!)
I know it's really hard to listen to your baby cry - but if you're committed to consistency, the crying will be less and less every night, as long as you're consistent with making the same patterns and times for going to sleep, so he knows what to expect.

My son was 10 mos (I know, much younger) and he was miserable and crying all the time because he had no sleep schedule. We finally started putting him to bed the same time every night. He cried alot the first night, a bit less the second night, and within a week, the crying was pretty much gone.
And he was SO much happier during the day. That experience taught me how badly toddlers need their sleep, and sometimes that might mean crying a bit when going to sleep.

amother

Thu, Jan 15 2015, 2:49 am

Depends what you mean when you say CIO. Yes you let him cry it out, but you are not using Ferber's method (he's what ppl often refer to when they say CIO, even though he himself hates the description). Ferber is into intervals which makes things more gradual. It's more like this, night #1, first visit after 3 mins. (a visit means you go in for 1-2 mins. but don't try to comfort baby. If baby calms down when you come in great, if not, also fine. Then you leave and visit after 5 mins., then 10 etc. The next night there is longer intervals between the visits. The visits show the baby that you care and are not just letting them scream their lungs out.

I did this on my 6 mo. old. Ferber might say a toddler should be trained the same way, but somehow I would think a toddler can handle more (he already has a good relationship w/ you and knows he can trust you, my 6 mo. old also does, but not as strong b/c she's young).

What you're doing might work, but if you want to do Ferber's method, buy or borrow the book. People on this site recommended it to me and it is so helpful (more than just general descriptions)