School requesting that we medicate DD

amother

Sun, Jan 18 2015, 5:07 am

Okay.... I have ka"h a large family.
Before I had any children, whenever the topic of Ritalin came up, I was always the one who spoke against it. I felt that teachers just want to have a quiet classroom, and don't feel like dealing with students who interrupt and disturb.

Well..... Fast forward a couple of years.... The joke is on ME!!
I now have 3 kids on medication, because their school kept on calling us down for meeting after meeting until they finally got fed up, and said we have to start.
Ok!!!! So, my 2 boys actually were diagnosed with ADHD (neurologist and MOXO test).
But, my older daughter, took the MOXO test, which showed that she does not have ADHD. We told the school, and they just kept on saying that the MOXO isn't that accurate blah blah blah, and basically we have to start her on Ritalin.
So our Ped gave us a prescription based on what the teachers were saying. She's been on it for 2 weeks now. According to my DD, she insists that she doesn't feel A THING!! And that she doesn't feel any difference in school.
At the same time we hired her a private tutor.
She started doing better at school, but I'm not sure if it's because if the med or the tutor...

Anyway, now, the school called about my younger DD. She's also been having a hard time in school. And also socially.
They really want us to try Ritalin with her for. Week or 2 and see how it goes....

I'm having such mixed feelings. I feel like we're being bullied into "drugging" our kids, but, at the same time I also want them to have an easier time in school.

I guess I'm not really asking for advice about "what to do", because I already know.
I guess I'm basically looking for some other moms who've been thru this....
I kind of feel like a failure that I have 4 kids on medication.... Sad

amother

Sun, Jan 18 2015, 5:23 am

You are not a failure for having 4 kids on medication. Would you feel like a failure if you had 4 kids who were near-sighted?

If you have kids who have improved with medication, that's likely a sign that they need it. Conversely, not all difficulties stem from ADHD and if that's not the issue Ritalin will not help. My DD had a variety of issues and while we tried Ritalin and other ADHD drugs they did not help, as she doesn't have ADHD. I actually wished my DD's difficulties could have been helped with medication.

It's not easy.

imasinger

Sun, Jan 18 2015, 7:03 am

OP, OOC, where do you live?

I thought in the US, it was illegal for schools to say that a child "needs to be put on medication." Just that they are having problems, and need a diagnosis and hopefully, treatment.

For your ODD, please be in touch with the prescriber. Maybe a different ADD med, a different dosage, or a different diagnosis and treatment is needed. ADHD does look different in girls.

For all your kids, I strongly recommend social skills groups. It's a huge help.

ITA about the glasses analogy. ADHD is hereditary, so it often runs in families.

amother

Sun, Jan 18 2015, 7:18 am

I may get flamed for my approach:

Schools look for easy ways out to "control" kids. When a school told us we had to medicate or leave, we picked ourselves up and left. When we left, we had no idea if our daughter would have another school to go to, but we went anyway. We thought about home-schooling which would have turned our lives upside down, but BH we found a open minded school that took our daughter.
On the subject of her behavior, we started researching alternative methods to medication and we do an assortment of OT, movement and other things that has changed our daughter immensely. She is no longer considered a discipline or behavior problem.

I do have one family member on meds for ADD and it helps to a degree and only when he doesn't forget, only because of extenuating circumstances, he can't follow the methods we have adapted in our home.
Almost my entire family, from DH and myself are ADD or ADHD!

I feel medication is a cover up, not a cure and when not on it, symptoms bounce right back. If it's really ADD/ADHD, then it'll follow right into adulthood.

There are many alternatives out there, google and asking around can find the right methods for different people.
It's a lot more work, but I know when my kids get married they won't have to struggle like me and my DH did for years until we started our research.

We do a vast range of things for different family members from swimming, a lot of outdoor exercise, martial arts, working with OT's on sensory issues, music listening program, music lessons, juggling lessons, reflex therapy, vision therapy, social skills groups. Different things for different people, the base of many issues are sensory in nature and working from there on, has alleviated many symptoms.

My daughter who was asked to leave the school had a very successful high school experience, scoring very well on all her exams. She is now a very successful college student that was accepted at her first choice. Her goal is to help kids that were like her when she was little.

Just my experience, nothing was easy to get going and there were many humps and bumps and setbacks, but BH overall our family life has changed. We were the family, no one wanted over, ever.

As I said, one family member is on meds at this time, not totally anti, but there are better alternatives for long term, permanent help.

morah

Sun, Jan 18 2015, 7:48 am

I am going to start by saying I am very pro medication where necessary. They are a lifesaver for my husband and since adhd tends to be hereditary, I understand that there's a decent chance that one or more of my kids may have it and may require medication (they are too young right now for this to be a discussion). So no, you are not a failure, as someone else said would you feel like a failure if your kids needed glasses?
That said, adhd meds are serious business and not something to be done lightly. I'm really interested to know what school you send to where the teachers and administration are all MDs! Because they must be if they are telling you with such certainty that your kids need Schedule I drugs! In all seriousness, I am horrified that the school is diagnosing and constructing a treatment plan on their own. I would have pulled out my kids yesterday if the school did that because it's not their place and it clearly indicates that they're more interested in easy band aid solutions than actually doing the hard work of dealing with different learning needs within the classroom. Seems they lucked out twice, but didn't work the third time. A school can and should suggest that a child needs professional help. They should NOT be making diagnoses and suggesting medical treatment! Take your daughters- both the one on meds and the one not yet on meds- and get some serious professionals involved. If you're in NY, NYU has an excellent program and clinic that diagnoses and come up with customized treatment plan. There is also Child Mind Institute. Get a team of actual medical doctors to figure out what your kids really need. An OT can help too. But forget the school, and I'd seriously consider switching because they so very wrong.