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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Help! My ds has major anxiety at night and won't fall asleep



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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 26 2015, 10:18 pm
My 2 1/2 yr old ds usually goes to bed between 6:30-7 and falls asleep pretty quickly. I just tuck him into bed, turn on a noise machine and that's it. A while ago he started to have these anxiety issues when I put him into bed and he wanted me to stay in the room but I couldn't cuz I have bh other kids to take care of (including a nursing baby) and my husband works in the evenings, and I knew if I stay with him one night, he will want me to stay every night. So I turned on a cd (not music) that I knew he likes and that soothes him. And for the last few weeks that worked perfectly bh!
But now again, the last few nights have been crazy, every night a diff story!
Tonight he was up for 3 hours after I put him to bed!! He wanted to come out of his crib but I knew if I let him come out one night he'll want to come out every night, so instead I tried calming him down and then offered to bring him a book into his bed and he got excited so I brought it to him. But he kept himself awake for a few hours! Wasn't crying but was keeping himself awake. He was very tired but obviously was trying very hard to stay awake. Then when he finally started to cry, I came over and sat near his bed and sang to him and he fell asleep within minutes.
Thing is, I myself have been dealing with my own anxiety issues lately so although I never actually do anything that I can point to specifically that can be rubbing it off on him, I'm sure somehow I did and that's why he's feeling anxious.
How do I help with with his anxieties??
Right now I feel like the only way I can help him is if I commit to start staying in his room every night and sing to him till he falls asleep. Which as I said, I can't commit to at this point.
He's only 2 1/2! I can't really discuss it with him or anything! Any advice??
Tia!
Btw he shares a room with my older son who bh falls asleep right away.
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 26 2015, 10:27 pm
Was anybody mean to him in a daycare setting?

Yes, of course, lower your own anxiety.

Maybe stuffed animal or nightlight?

Is the older kid doing anything weird in the night, whether to this younger son or just himself?

The man of the house being out of the house when one is asleep will raise anybody's anxiety at any time. Put a large photo of his father holding him and smiling in the room where he can see it easily.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 26 2015, 11:09 pm
Something similar was happening with my 2 1/2 year old. I'm still not sure what was bothering her specifically but she was getting very teary and anxious when I was putting her to bed. I think extending the routine JUST A LITTLE and adding in some reassurances helped a lot and after about a week or two it passed. Meaning, we read a book, said shema, sang a special song she got to pick (same one every night) and I would say something like 'you're going to have a good night sleep, sleep so well and feel so good in the morning. When you wake up, call Mommy and I'll come get you right away. I love you, good night' Then give an extra squeeze and kiss and put her down. Sometimes if she was still looking a little sad I would do something silly like cuddle her animals around her and make one kiss her or tickle her just till I got a smile and then leave on a happy note.
Part of what was bothering my daughter was how long she'd be in her crib before I got her in the morning (It wasn't long, she just wakes up very alert and ready to eat and I, you know, have to use the bathroom...;-), so it helped to tell her things like I was right outside her room, could hear her no matter what, would check on her, always came to get her, etc. The reassurance of me being nearby was enough for her.
Anyway, maybe none of this applies to you but I don't think you need to drastically change the way you put him to sleep, toddlers go through little periods of separation anxiety and need an extra sense of security for a bit.
Hatzlacha
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 26 2015, 11:12 pm
Thanks for your response Smile
He is home all day with me, no daycare.
His older brother is a year older than him and is still in a crib. (Knows how to climb out but doesn't)
My husband leaves about an hour after bedtime so he wouldn't even know that my husband isn't home.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 26 2015, 11:19 pm
Thanks amother. That was helpful actually Wink
I was wondering if it's just a stage that will pass or if I need to speak to a professional about it.
I guess I'll try some more (lots more) reassurance and stuff, maybe I'll stay in the room for a couple extra minutes. There is a tiny night light on but maybe I should put in a little more light.
And I'll see how it goes for the next few nights.
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