What does "my dear" mean?

imasinger

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 7:30 am

IMO, like any other term of endearment ("honey", "sweetie", "darling", etc.), it can mean different things depending on the relative age and genders of speaker and hearers, and their culture.

In some cases, it would be mildly inappropriate, either a kind of flirting, or a bit of a put down, speaking to the listener as though s/he were a child.

In other cases, it means nothing at all (American Southern, where it can be a term of friendly interaction between relative equals).

Or it can be a tender name for a deeply loved family member.

Tone and context both matter.

Why do you ask?

daagahminayin

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 8:20 am

I usually find it patronizing when people of my own peer group call me "my dear" or "honey" etc, although they might not mean it that way. If it comes from someone above me in age or wisdom then I don't mind it.

Miri7

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 9:16 am

Depends on the community in which you live as well. Terms of endearment are thrown around really casually in the south. So they don't mean much there.

shanie5

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 10:26 pm

My boss uses the term "dear" or "my dear" all the time. Its just his way of communicating and not offensive, patronizing or too informal. Its just him.

DrMom

Wed, Jan 28 2015, 2:16 am

imasinger wrote:

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a d@mn."
"Elementary, my dear Watson."

are both used contemptuously or condescendingly.

But if your daughter sends you a card is addressed to, "My dear Mother," it is obviously intended to be affectionate.

If an elderly Southern woman says, "my dear, please do sit down" she means it to be nice.

Why do you ask?