My Wits Are Shredded

the world's best mom

Tue, Jan 20 2015, 7:13 am

mommy best wrote:

Hi, I'd like to say if all those ideas don't work. U may try some melatonin, it comes in drops so it's easy to give. (he may be deficient).
I've been there done that.
Melatonin works magic and it's great for your sanity. 😐

Before you do that, research the possible risks and decide if you feel safe with it.

thankyou

Tue, Jan 20 2015, 1:23 pm

OK here is what I'd do (did):
put the 2 YO to sleep EARLIER. I really really think he sounds over tired. If he doesn't nap he is for sure tired by 5:30! My son wouldn't nap either at 2 YO. I tried everything. But he went to sleep at around 5 pm every day.
You should either just make the change at once or gradually.
What I did with my kid was :
having a talk- I explained to him that it was sleeping time, that his sisters are going to sleep soon as well and also mommy and totty.
Then I introduced a teddy bear (my son wasn't into it at all until then) and told him that every time he wants mommy he should hold the teddy bear tight and hug him (he used to want me to hold his hand etc.). Then I explained to him that this is it- we are chaging the way things are from now and I know that he's a good boy and can go to sleep nicely.
Yes I know it sounds crazy to tell a 2 YO all this but it worked! He looked me in the eye, grabbed the teddy bear and went to sleep. That was after 2 years of torture! and after having talked to a professional.

Meanwhile have a talk with your DDs in advance- give them a specific thing they need to do while you put him to bed.a treat. Whether it's drawing or reading a new book or a new toy or ...I dont know. But think of somehting they like to do and tell them to do it at this time. They will do better with specific orders. maybe make cookies or fold laundry (making a mess of course...).

I can imagine how hard it is! You sound like a great mother...good luck !

mummiedearest

Thu, Jan 22 2015, 9:18 pm

didn't read all the replies.

1) get that toddler to nap. my toddler refuses to nap in bed now. I either take her on a walk in the stroller for two hours or so OR just give her something quiet to do on the couch with a blanket and turn on music. I walk away and wash dishes or something. if she's that tired, she naps. this improves the whole day.

2) different bedtimes. put the toddler to bed in your bed if necessary, but be prepared to share the bed if your toddler doesn't transfer well. I put my kids to bed and lie down in my toddler's bed with her. she needs some extra cuddling to calm down. I warn her in advance that I have to go to the bathroom in two minutes, then one minute. we end cuddling with a big hug and kiss. she's usually good about staying in bed, unless my husband comes home when she's still awake.

3) make sure to nurse the baby before bedtime.

amother

Wed, Jan 28 2015, 8:14 pm

OP here.

Thank you thank you everyone for ideas and support!

So it's still a process and we've got a long way to go, but I think I see something that might be a light at the end of the tunnel here. (It could be the oncoming train, but whatever.)

Began school with 2YO, which seems great so far - now he's more tired earlier, and I think I'll be able to put him to sleep earlier and D1 & D2 later. Such a simple solution - but it never occurred to me before!!

I wish I could get him to nap but no luck there. We shall see.

Moved D1 out of top bunk into bed beside D2 so that I can "snuggle" each of them after 2YO is quiet - this is doing great things for each of them. The room is pretty crowded but it gives me greater control in having them all within arm's reach instead of two levels of kiddos!

THANK YOU THANK YOU - and stay tuned!