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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
DD seems to hate me
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amother


 

Post Mon, Feb 02 2015, 4:51 pm
bandcm wrote:
I have never thought for a second of getting insulted! She is so adorable and I love her to pieces.


I am not insulted. My daughter is also adorable and I love her to pieces. Her behaviour seems extreme and I don't know whether it is normal. None of my friends have been through this so it does not appear to be one of those things that every toddler does. And yes, I would prefer that she not behave in this way, but that does not mean that I am insulted.
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energy booster




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 02 2015, 6:21 pm
I wasn't laughing at you. I find it funny and cute how these little creatures know exactly what our weak points are. This is Hashem's wonders.
I know of a 3 yr old boy that told his mom I hate u. That mother was so hurt cuz she was trying soso hard to be a "good" mother and she failed!

The more u will respond to this behavior the more she will fight u. It is called a "power struggle" she is behaving like a typical toddler. U need to be confident as a parent and not be afraid of this behavior. She is a smart little girl and knows what she is doing.
Sorry for accepting it this way. All I was laughing was how sweet and shrewd she is.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 02 2015, 10:27 pm
I'm sorry OP, but I really think that Scrabble is right. This is totally normal, and not a big deal.

Toddlers have a hard time processing the emotion of loving two very different people, for different reasons. It's cognitive dissonance, so they pick one parent over the other. As they mature, they'll figure it out.

Toddlers are also WAY smarter than we give them credit for, and are experts at manipulation. I can't overstate that enough. In some ways they are much smarter than we are! That's where the frustration comes in. They are experts at being 2 year olds, and we've forgotten all of that survival behavior that we used to use at that age.

Just keep doing what you're doing, and everything will work out (until the next phase of defiance comes). I find it comes and goes in waves. She'll be back to loving and wonderful in a while, and then something else will come up.

Just wait until she becomes a preteen and the hormones kick in. "I hate you! You're ruining my life! I want to go live with grandma! How can you do this to me!" - and 5 minutes later she'll be sobbing in your arms, begging for forgiveness, saying "I didn't mean any of it, I don't know why I'm being so mean!"
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 02 2015, 10:58 pm
had one who went through a stage like this ... cry for daddy daddy daddy all day long & then had the 'gall' to sleep on top my very pregnant belly

seems normal enough for a toddler
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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 02 2015, 11:05 pm
I have kids just about the same age as you. I could have written the exact same post. My son is obsessed with daddy and wants nothing to do with me. I just make sure to get my kisses in before he wakes up and realize it is just a fad.
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 03 2015, 5:30 am
morah wrote:
My oldest was also all about Abba, and I was chopped liver. And it got worse when I had a baby. Now things have evened out, and the baby (who is now in the early stages of toddlerhood) is also starting to like Abba better. It is normal and it will pass.


I actually grew to love it. M dh does bedtime because they don't want me anyway!

Dancing
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 03 2015, 6:05 am
What I hear you saying is that you're worried there may be something developmentally wrong. That you're worried that this is too extreme. I would ask, does your DD make eye contact with you, smile at you, joke with you, play with you, during the times that your DH is not around? If so, then everything is likely fine. She's just bonding with her father right now.

Perhaps she's a bit introverted and can't seem to figure out how to focus on two people at once? Are there any other issues you're worried about?
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