first bar mitzvah | Imamother

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First bar mitzvah

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COOLME56

Mon, Jun 09 2014, 9:46 am

So im making a bar mitzvah in 2 years. I'll be having some out of town people. Im wondering if after lunch and between shalosh suedos, do the out of town people go back to their hosts or do they hang out with me in my home?
One problem is that my house will be far from the place where Im having my Kiddush and the bar mitzvah is in January time. Im not sure that my out of town guests will want to walk so far in the cold weather. What do people do?
Also are you allowed to push off the date of the laining to a more convienet time when its not going to be cold/ snowy weather?
Also in terms of costs-what am I looking at for a whole Shabbos weekend and maybe an affair sun nite?

Any suggestions or tips are very helpful.

Thank You.

doctorima

Mon, Jun 09 2014, 9:57 am

I think most people will be happy to go back to where they're staying to rest and relax, but some may want to spend the afternoon visiting with you and your family. Weather is always unpredictable, so while a Bar Mitzvah can be pushed off for various reasons, I'm not sure that postponing it by months until the spring is a good plan, and it could rain then! Cost varies greatly, depending on the number of people you're having and how much you're planning to cook yourself vs. having catered, and the standard that you want to do it at. Maybe call a few local caterers to get an idea of what they charge per person, and multiply by the number of people you're thinking of having.

Twizzlers

Mon, Jun 09 2014, 10:26 am

I havent made a bar mitzva yet, but have been to quite a few. Firstly, if you have it in January, realize that shabbos is very short. By the time you finish lunch, especially if you had a kiddush first, there will not be that much time before mincha and shalosh seudos. The bar mitzva I was at in December; lunch was over at about 3, and mincha was at 4.

As a guest, I usually preferred to just hang out in the simcha hall; if I had kids with me, I brought along some toys and games and left them in the hall before shabbos. Relatives really enjoyed catching up and shmoozing since they generally lived too far away from each other. Especially if its freezing, to bundle up and walk to either their host or your house, only to have to turn around in an hour is usually not worth it.

Just my .02

animeme

Mon, Jun 09 2014, 11:20 am

Can you put your people up near the shul/simcha hall instead of by you? That's less walking for them in general and lets them go back for a short time.

COOLME56

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 1:45 pm

another question:
my son doestn want to have a party but I want family pictures. How does this work and how does this work that it wont be rushed and stressed. Family pics including extended family

mfb

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 3:30 pm

Won't your son change his mind until then? Its still such a long time until his bar mitzvah?

COOLME56

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 3:32 pm

well first of all. bar mitzvah is now next year! He is liek me, doesnt like ot be the spot light of attention.

November

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 4:16 pm

The question will also be what most of his friends will be having for their Bar Mitzvah celebrations. That may have an impact on what he views as a normal celebration.
January shabbos is very very short. There will be very little hanging out time after lunch. Let people figure it out for themselves.
As for photos, we considered hiring someone on Friday before shabbos to take family photos. The plan was nixed because the day is so short and it would have made things even more harried.

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