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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Sending boys away for high school
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 25 2015, 7:46 am
amother wrote:
I don't know why it made you uncomfortable, but for shalom bayis, I edited it.


Thank you.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Feb 26 2015, 9:48 am
amother wrote:
I know this community well. They did try to start yeshivas many times for the more yeshivish. It never worked out. I obviously don't know the ins and outs, but a lot of it is financial. CC is part of a big network. Yes, they definitely need to fundraise, but they have a headquarters and have experience setting up new yeshivas. They also have a lot of boys from other cities who want the small town feel. There are already so many struggling mosdos in St. Louis. There probably is not enough funds to start another institution. (As a pp mentioned, Rabbanim may have agreed about this.) Better to keep what is existing open.

Anyway, amongst the boys themselves, they mostly want to go away. To tell a boy that wants to go away (and many of his friends are going away) to stay, would be very dangerous. Even if the yeshiva is great, he will likely feel bad and have an attitude- not good! It's usually not the mothers. Many of them miss their sons terribly. It's their desire to do what's best for their sons and not disturb status quo at the expense of their son.

The Chofetz Chaim yeshiva is great. There have been boys that have really flourished there. If sending away is not your thing or your sons thing (and your son is OK w/ your thing), it really is a great option.

Otherwise, Chicago and Cleveland are really not that far. Sons can come home much more often than places on the East Coast that require expensive air fair.

-anon for obvious reasons

My ds goes to MTI and he's bh doing very well. He loves it and we love it too. He's not a problem child and no issues whatsoever. We are also not yeshivish, though. He's in the 9th grade and there are only two intowners. I spoke to someone who sends her ds there and she said she didn't send her other boys there because it wasn't for them. It's not always about location.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Feb 26 2015, 12:30 pm
amother wrote:


Am I missing something? I'm a BT - is my background leaving me clueless here? Growing up, the few kids who went away to school were misfits and had "issues." You never sent away your kid unless there was a real problem at home and they needed intervention. Why does a community support this? When I ask, all I hear is that this is what's done. It's hard but it's what's done.


There is a tradition in Judaism in 'traveling far to a place of Torah'. Torah Jews do not consider it being a misfit to choose the best for their son.

Even if you live in a medium-sized community, you can still have only 2 or 3 options, and maybe none are good for your son. Different yeshivas have different levels / different outlooks / are smaller or larger (each with their own advantages or disadvantages).

I live in EY so 'sending away' is not so far. An hour or two on the bus, not a plane trip. So a boy can come home twice a month for Shabbos.

We sent our oldest son 'away' to yeshiva and he blossomed. Now we are facing the same decision again. It's not so easy, but you need to see what is the best for each individual child. The main thing is a yeshiva with a caring, committed staff that is a good 'match' for your child, not distance.
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