I am the laziest person I know

amother

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 11:51 pm

I am so beyond lazy. I neglect most household tasks. DH does laundry since I almost never do. DH cleans up after supper. When the kids are sleeping, I feel too tired to clean up or do anything productive, and I end up wasting literally hours every day either on the computer or reading. I also have anxiety and ocd. Dh gets annoyed from my laziness but doesn't really say anything. I really want to break these bad habits but it usually feels impossible. Any thoughts?

Jeanette

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 11:56 pm

First habit to break is calling yourself lazy.

Set the timer each day for 10 minutes or 5 minutes or however much you can handle at first. Clean up as much as you can in those 10 minutes. Focus on doing something that will make an immediate visible difference. I.e. pick up junk from the floors instead of organizing a closet. You'll be amazed at how much gets done in 10 minutes of work.

Work your way up from there. From 10 minutes a day, add 1 minute at a time.

Any time your brain starts that rant again (I'm so lazy, I detest myself that I'm so lazy) remind yourself that you just cleaned up x,y and z. Pat on the back!!! Then do it again the next day.

Lucky for you you have a husband picking up the slack. Until you can get yourself up to speed, think of ways that you can show appreciation to him or think of tasks he hates doing that you can take off his shoulders. Teamwork!

chani8

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 3:25 am

Frankly, it comes down to, you have to kick your own butt. If you really need to be doing more, then do it. Put on your Big Girl Pants, and just.do.it.

But if you have help, appreciate it. My DH does most of the laundry, my teens do the cooking and cleaning. I let them know how awesome they are, and I try to fill up their love tanks however they need it filled. There is no guilt tripping. We all know about personality differences, and how housework is a breeze for some people, and overwhelming for others. I think of it as team work. Everyone does what they're good at. And we back each other up when needed.

My only question of concern to you is (if you have kids), are you able to give your kids quality attention?

FranticFrummie

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 3:38 am

If you think you are the laziest person you know, then you obviously haven't met ME yet! Tongue Out

Actually, I think in our case we're not lazy at all, but rather we have anxiety around cleaning. Just thinking about mountains of chores to be done is enough to give me a panic attack, so my instinct is to avoid anything that makes my heart race and triggers my fight or flight reflex.

The only way I can get anything done, is to have a plan.
1. Pick a very small area to work on. A single bookshelf is a good place to start.
2. Have a treat in mind for when that chore is done. Computer time, coffee break, walk around the block, or whatever works for you.
3. Decide if you are up for another small area to clean up. If not, that's OK. Tomorrow is another day.

Having a list of clean up areas that you can check off is very satisfying. I also like to stroll around the house and gaze lovingly at the areas that I've cleared of clutter, really letting that nice, orderly feeling sink in. I find that if I don't really stop and treasure that, then I won't put in the effort to keep it nice looking.

Have a long term goal in mind, like inviting over that nice lady from shul who has the perfect house. That lady who has always intimidated you because she's rich, super organized, or whatever. Imagine her being able to come over, and you NOT having to make apologies for the mess. (I'm getting there, slowly…)

Another good help is to have someone distract you while you're working. Have the kids tell you all about their day while you are sweeping, folding laundry, or doing the dishes, ironing, or anything else you find horribly boring. Kids love having a captive audience, and you'll find the work goes much faster. If the kids aren't around, listen to your favorite music, a shiur, or anything else that can occupy your mind.

Again, I can't stress this enough, go back and admire your finished work! Don't be ashamed to be proud of a folded stack of clothes. It's a big deal!

gp2.0

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 8:52 am

I'm the same way, except I refuse to call myself lazy anymore. Lazy would be if I was doing it on purpose, but I'm not. I just feel no energy. I want so badly to stick to a chore/work/play schedule. I've made myself lists and charts so many times and I forget about them the next day. I can't get over my own inertia. I started a thread not too long ago and got lots of helpful suggestions about what to ask a doctor regarding what can cause endless fatigue. Maybe it's time for you to get a checkup as well? (My appointment is Monday, YAY, and I'm heading to two specialists after the basic checkup IYH.)

Also, the only thing that keeps my house from being featured on Hoarders is weekly cleaning help. I do laundry once a week when I have cleaning help, and the only thing that forces me to do it is that my wonderful housekeeper (I love her so much) folds the laundry, which makes it easier for me to face washing and drying - and also gives me a deadline because I have to finish it all before the end of the day. And it's better than my previous system, which was 1) put laundry in washing machine 2) forget about laundry for 3 days 3) wonder where clothes are 4) rewash laundry that smells of mold 5) forget about laundry for a day 6) throw clothes into dryer and hope that the heat kills the mold smell 7) take clothes as needed from dryer.

amother

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 9:22 am

I'm surprised no one said this (cause they always do) go for blood tests (don't know which). But maybe you actually have a physical condition that makes you so tired - thyroid, diabetes, MS, pregnancy, dehydration, overworking, anemic, not enough sleep... There are loads of possibilities... When you're physically tired it's hard to push yourself to do unappetizing work.

amother

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 10:02 am

In the evenings after work/ household/errands I feel exactly the same. I cant even lift my tuches to wash dishes. Once the kids sleep I just want to sleep no matter how much I planned to iron, precook or clean windows. after 7pm nothing gets done, unless dh does it with me . what works for me is to wake up SUPERearly BEFORE everyone else. shower, dress and start household. I do things very very fast and with music / headphones. I have only 1,5 hours but EVERYTHING must get done: laundry (the lights fast washing programme), in the meantime clean bathroom (10 minutes), boil pasta and a veggy (15 minutes) wash milchig kitschen side (15 minutes)- by that time its time to hang up the lights and wash the darks (another 30 minutes). hanging first load takes 7 minutes, now put away stuff ánd dust in the living room ( 10 minutes), put away stuff and dust bedroom (windows wide open) - 10 minutes and hallway (10 minutes) - time to hang up second load of laundry (we dont have a dryer)... put stuff in fleishig crockpot and press start, make 8 sandwiches (for the kids and dh) ( 20 minutes), set fleishig dishwasher). now the kids wake up and the house is tidy, breakfast on the table, momy already dressed .

wht I get done in 1,5 hours in the morning without anyone distracting me, is ten times more than I would get done throughout the day or in the evenings. it also gives me a good feeling (like a morning exercise)- I dont vacuum clean though cos it would wake the kids up, also the kids' room gets tiies up another time.

amother

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 10:08 am

OP, you're only the laziest person you know because you haven't yet met me!

That was me for the last few years. So, so lazy. How did I manage to get so little done in so much time?

I discovered that for someone who is not so naturally disciplined with time management, having too much unstructured time is just plain bad. I recently went back to work and now not only am I working but I am getting done in just a few hours all the things that I used to have all day to do and somehow never got to (because I procrastinated and lazed around on the computer, reading books, etc. etc.).

I would suggest packing more into your day if possible, be it work, volunteering somewhere, taking classes of some variety.... whatever works for you.

Jeanette

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 11:40 am

amother wrote:

Very impressed! Good to have a schedule broken down to see exactly how much can get done in a short time.

Unfortunately if your house was let go for too long it takes more than 1.5 hours to put it back together. Best thing is to get a cleaning service and do a thorough overhaul, then you can implement a plan for upkeep that takes only 1-1.5 hours per day.

amother

Sun, Mar 01 2015, 11:29 am

Thank you so much everyone for your ideas and support! I have not been on the computer too much since Thursday night.....a step in the right direction! Also, what some of you said about the morning being a better time for being productive is definitely true. I posted Thurs night around midnight....Fri morn was a different story! It's definitely still a struggle for me to do things that I hate vs. what I like but hope to use your ideas to get better at it.....

amother

Sun, Mar 01 2015, 12:38 pm

I would definitely give you competition for the title.

What helps: Dh is very undemanding, I have help every day.

I don't think it's laziness, though. I think I have ADD though I am not sure if I had it as a kid (made very good grades etc so maybe I just overcame it somehow).

But also I get so terribly bored & feel frustrated when I do anything in the house, whether peeling vegetables or sweeping the floor.

What helps me tremendously is having shiurim on an mp3 player. If I make a soup and I listened to a shiur, I feel much more satisfied. For some, it might be music.

nywife

Sun, Mar 01 2015, 2:51 pm

The best advice I ever heard for keeping organized was don't put off doing anything that takes less than 60 seconds. If that's too long for you, shorten it to 30. There are so many little things (hanging a coat, putting dirty dishes in the sink, throwing garbage in the garbage, putting a toy back in the closet etc) that take such a short amount of time and really help alleviate clutter.

Another idea is to make longer chores (semi) enjoyable. You mentioned that you like to read, why not get some books on cd to listen to while you do dishes or fold laundry. Or listen to a shuir. Or talk on the phone. Anything to take away the monotony.

acccdac

Sun, Mar 01 2015, 6:41 pm

Jeanette wrote:

I wanted to add to this advice.

you said the problem is you have to FINISH the task, thats my problem too, but I have learned when the timer rings you STOP. If the sink isnt completely clean, you stop. Make that a different 10 minute task later in the day. Also after 3 sets for 10, give yourself another set of 10 for YOU, go on the computer, read, etc but only for the 10 minutes.

amother

Sun, Mar 01 2015, 6:57 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

I'm similar in certain aspects. I actually feel better working now more because I can justify more cleaning help. I am constantly exhausted, which I'm working on. Trying to eat healthy and take vitamins etc.. Except when sleep keeps getting interrupted by kids, it's hard.