Foster Care Nightmare (article)

southernbubby

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 9:17 am

http://www.motherjones.com/pol.....entor

My brother is a licensed foster care provider. He adopted one of his foster sons and the other aged out but stayed with him and now the foster son, his pregnant girlfriend, and their toddler son, live temporarily with my brother. That foster son is seeking a Reform Jewish conversion, because he is close with my brother and because of his beliefs. My brother is single and became a foster parent in order to build a family. This article states that many foster parents have less lofty goals in mind when they take responsibility for children and that private agencies are in it for profit rather than for the good of children.

MagentaYenta

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 10:58 am

My last two children came from the foster system, but I live in a state that doesn't sub contract foster placement and their situation was rather unique.

I also have an issue with kids aging out of the system and then out the door when they no longer produce income for some foster parents.

southernbubby

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 11:15 am

MagentaYenta wrote:

The state would have paid for Anthony to attend a local college and continue to live with my brother and the state would have continued to pay my brother but Anthony would not finish high school. Then the state said that they would give Anthony section 8 but that is not a panacea either because Anthony was not consistent in any job long enough to pay his other bills. Then Anthony and his GF wanted to join the military but his GF was turned down because it was discovered that she was pregnant, so neither joined. They tried sharing an apartment with another dysfunctional couple but that did not work out either so that is how they ended up moving back in with my brother. Apparently the state will move the mother and toddler first and Anthony will live part time with them and part with my brother, because the relationship with the GF is a work in progress. Anthony is turning 22 and most young people his age still have a parent or parents who are involved and my brother is trying to be that parent. Also most 22 yr old American men don't have 2 children to raise, with no understanding of how children are raised. My brother is trying to teach them how to be responsible parents.

MagentaYenta

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 12:11 pm

Fosters in my state get paid college in state only. BH one of mine got a full ride with Benjamin Cardozo School of Law (graduated come Laude, now a civil rights atny with the EU) and the other went instate locally since it had a good program for her career choice (costume designer with Circ du Soleil).

I will think good thoughts for your brother and Anthony. Be very proud of your brother, few folks continue their parenting responsibilities after fosters age out.

Aged out foster kids were becoming the largest population in our local homeless youth shelter until our community decided to address the issue.

MagentaYenta

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 12:21 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

Are there frum kids who age out of foster care and have no place to go or just non-frum kids?

My girls were neither frum nor Jewish. Aging out of the foster system with zero resources is a problem endemic to the system. There's not a lot of Jews (or frum Jews) in my state so it's hard for me to know. Maybe southernbubby can speak to that issue.

southernbubby

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 12:30 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

When my brother went to court to formally adopt the younger son, Anthony came with them and the judge asked Anthony what relationship he had to the family and Anthony answered that he was my brother's son. He thinks of himself as my brother's son, even though he is the son of living parents. He has some contact with his mother and siblings. My brother is beyond awesome. Thanks for the good thoughts! We really hope that Anthony will be a better parent than his biological parents were, as a result of my brother's intervention.

southernbubby

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 12:33 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

I tend to think that Jews have a bigger safety net in places where there are large amounts of Jews. I remember growing up in Louisville and a widow abandoned her children and went into a new relationship. The Conservative rabbi swung into action and quickly found the Jewish homes and they never entered foster care.

MagentaYenta

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 12:38 pm

southernbubby wrote:

I agree I think OTD issues are a bit different than what gets kids foster placements. (My girls were both abandoned by successful families in town who didn't know how to deal with normal teen rebellion, and we're not talking serious, drugs or crime stuff.)

Rubber Ducky

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 1:09 pm

The local Jewish Federation closed their foster child division, which is really too bad; they were an excellent resource for us while we were foster parents. Hardly any Jewish kids here in Baltimore end up in official foster care — but a few are placed informally, usually through Rabbeim.

loveandpeace

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 1:12 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

I'm in Ttl awe. What inspired u to do something this awesome?

MagentaYenta

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 1:27 pm

loveandpeace wrote:

I'm in Ttl awe. What inspired u to do something this awesome?

I was a CASA volunteer. My DD knew both the young women from school. The father of the first girl was a Messianic Christian (trust me I don't buy their line of jive) and the sitting judge knew me and knew I had a good reputation in the community. He approached me and told me about the family issues and thought it would be a great idea if she got placed in a real Jewish family rather than a pretend one Very Happy

I talked to my DD who was still living at home but working and going to CC and she said I should go for it. They pushed through my home visits and all of the paperwork. She initially came to me as a ward of the court. Once the foster documentation was complete, she was my foster. The second one came about because I took the first one. It was about 7 mos. after the first came to me, the judge called me and asked if I would help another girl. So I did. I've raised 7, only one is a biochild. I somehow have a talent for raising other peoples children.

amother

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 3:55 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

Are there frum kids who age out of foster care and have no place to go or just non-frum kids?

I know of at least one frum foster kid who aged out of foster care and had nowhere to go she is currently still supporting herself but hanging on by a thread and in REAL danger of becoming homeless Sad

Oh, and she's from brooklyn.

MagentaYenta

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 4:02 pm

Southernbubby, these girls weren't running off the tracks by any means. Their parents were very very extreme and drew lines in the sand. The families also were very well off. The last thing these kids needed was being put in the system to languish as teens until they aged out. I had a great job so I was able to save almost all their foster stipend money for them. What they didn't get was spent on allowances with some discretionary money in their bank accounts every month.

MagentaYenta

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 4:03 pm

amother wrote:

Oh, and she's from brooklyn.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me Crying

southernbubby

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 4:48 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

I have actually seen it in the frum community where the ACS removed a frum girl whose mother had gone off the deep end religiously and imposed impossible stringencies on the kids to the point where they could not handle it. The kids parents were not poor or unable to provide the basics. The mother would not let up on the religious pressure. Many of the kids who were not removed left on their own as soon as they were able.