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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 5:26 pm

Didn't read all the comments, but my daughter has been receiving counseling since first grade for this problem and it has helped her a lot. The therapists play various role playing games with her and coach her as to appropriate interactions. She was not to this extreme but she did say/do extremely inappropriate things in social situations and the therapy made her more aware of how people react to what she says. She still does blurt out things on occasion but she has come a very long way.

amother

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 10:08 pm

OP here again, thank you all so very much for your replies and empathy. It really means a lot to me.

It's been an insanely crazy day so that's why I haven't replied for a bit, but I have been reading every post. I don't have time to reply to everyone so I'll just update you.

I talked to the principal today and voiced my concerns, she got in touch with the social skills therapist and we decided that she'll start taking him out with other kids so that they can have social groups within the school setting, which I think will be great for DS - he gets the benefits of the group with kids that he's familiar with and in the setting that he'll actually use the skills. The therapist will also "shadow" him during recess a couple of times to help him break in and socialize appropriately in real time.

Also, on a positive note, today DS told me that he played a game with a nice kid in his class at recess and it sounds like it went well. He also "made plans" with a couple of other kids to exchange MM on Purim. So I'm hoping for the best...

Thanks again for all the advice and encouragement.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 12:29 am

Dolly, Im just going to have to disagree with you. I have seen it with my own eyes, a boy, who had a lot of aggression in him, start to take karate and he did not become more aggressive, no. Instead, his confidence kept on builsing more and more. Nothing like what you are talking about.

Dolly Welsh

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 12:56 am

Fine, but that's not what I meant. You are helping me clarify.

I didn't mean the karate training would make a person more aggressive.

Although perhaps sometimes it might in some cases.

Or might not.

But that wasn't what I meant.

I simply meant that someone, anyone, who was already known to be combative, might get more effective at expressing it impressively in the schoolyard with other boys, once trained. Once provided with better tools. The same level of combativeness as before. Not more. That might not always be good.

chani8

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 1:50 am

Great update, OP!! Smile

dancingqueen

Fri, Feb 27 2015, 10:44 am

I have a friend who is a school psychologist who actually supports what dolly is saying. He said that in the 80s and 90s a lot of people put aggressive kids into karate to teach them discipline but in the end you wound up with aggressive kids who knew how to hit better. In other words karate can ppotentially be good for some kids, but it is definitely not a cure all. I actually prefer team activities where kids have to work together.

Op I could be wrong but is it possible you're putting too much pressure on him socially? It sounds like you talk about it a lot and he gets anxious and has inappropriate responses? I could be wrong and think the social skills group sounds great so kudos.

amother

Sat, Feb 28 2015, 4:43 pm

amother wrote:

Where are you located?
I know of two great social skills therapists in Jerusalem

can you post their info?
(not OP)

md1

Sat, Feb 28 2015, 8:38 pm

There is a social worker who just moved to Israel but will do phone consultations around the world. He has a website called www.bullies2buddies.com. He teaches kids how to respond to bullying in and out of school, and the communication skills he teaches can be used to make friends. In fact, what he teaches is so powerful that the bullies will become the child's friend. The techniques he teaches are fun and easy to learn and he can do it over the phone with your child. The fee is reasonable and well worth it for the understanding, the social skills, and the emotional maturity it will teach your child. His name is Izzy Kalman. Please look at the website and you can get his contact information from there.

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