Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Working Women
Dealing with an impulsive boss



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 02 2015, 7:19 am
so here is my problem.
I was self employed for a few years and for various reasons decided to get out of the business. I then stopped working for a while. now I work again but for someone else. I didn't want to work for him. he asked me to take on a project and I agreed and then while I was doing that he begged me to help him out with another project and didn't relent till I agreed. I regretted it right away.
the the thing is that if we would have stuck to the conditions we made then id be fine. but of course its not like that. he makes me stay longer hours (which makes me not feel guilty when I take off for when I or the kids are sick), he pays a measly salary and has agreed to go up in 3 months - minimally (I have been here over a year!) when I go on vacation, when I am sick, when I am home with a sick kid, on erev shabbos 2 hours before candle-lighting, midweek at almost midnight, whenever he needs something he calls me at home. I don't pick up when I cant or don't feel it appropriate, so he sends texts of things to do. because he is a person who forgets fast.
all that is still fine.
now to this.
he is a person who CONSTANTLY changes his mind.
I have done this work before on my own. I know how things work. I know you have to think long and hard before making a decision and long and hard before stopping something that is already running. he doesn't. so he hires people and fires them. I give him a suggestion who to hire but tell him to look out for a, b and c. he doesn't. he just hires the person. then comes to me to complain. he doesn't accept when I say "I told you to make sure a, b, and c are clarified before" he ignores that. wants to fire the guy right away.
he takes a loan from the bank, then asks them to change the conditions, then brings in another guy to share the liability, then changes that person again. then he wants another loan and more and more changes, the bank gets fed up and says "you cant keep switching" so he says I am changing to another bank. he changes. then gets upset when they don't jump to his every change.
he wants to sue guys who didn't do things he realizes now they should have done. but while they were doing it he was praising them saying "we gonna do many many projects together"
I know it is his business and not mine. but I am getting frustrated and mad.
firstly because I have to do his dirty work and deal with the wrath of the bank and the companies he hires and fires at whim. and I cant say no because I am his employee!!!! when I tell him I disagree he sometimes listens but does what he wants anyways, other times he tells me he is the boss so he can decide (don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy)
what scares me also is his impulsiveness. so when someone will do one mistake he will not say "oh mistakes can happen" but instead he says "I should have known from day one what a bad worker that person is. everything he/she did was no good." he will do it to me one day. I know if I up and quit he will not take it gracefully. he will say "oh she did so much wrong." why do I say that? because 2 weeks ago when things were very very tough in my private life and I told him, and I was home and I worked from home under very trying circumstances I forgot to buy stickers to put on the postbox of yet another address he changed one of his companies to. (3rd time in one year!) so he tells me "lately you forget so much. how can I know that I can rely on you when you are so forgetful. you carry a lot of responsibility here."

so my question to you fellow imamothers:

- how do I make it clear to him that this cannot go on without:
a) being disrespectful
b) getting my point across so he will actually GET IT

- is it worth it to say something when he is obviously been like that for many years (you should hear how he blames all the others he ever dealt with for his problems...) or should I just leave it and at some point leave the business - then again he will make me a bad name.... should I care about that?

- he pays me an abysmal wage. and he justifies that with the fact that currently he is not making a lot. which is true. but he will be, soon. lots of money. and only because I am making sure he is getting there. whenever I ask for a raise he says "I cant...." he has this way of making you really feel bad. So now in 3 months I will get a raise, but a minimal one. what do I do? I started caring less (I was sooo invested in this company with my heart and soul) because I dont see why I should be so dedicated. But I also dont want it to cause problems in the business in the long run. what is the right way to step here?

- he offered me a bonus by doing some other work on the side. Those things don't interest me. but then he says well then I shouldnt say I am not making more moeny. this is unfair. but I cant get him to see it....

WHAT DO I DO?!
thanks for reading this loooong vent
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 02 2015, 6:01 pm
Bump
Back to top

zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 02 2015, 7:13 pm
Your boss is a nightmare from which there is no waking up. What are you waiting for? Polish up your resume and get another job.
Back to top

chatz




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 02 2015, 7:27 pm
He sounds.. unstable? Bipolar?

You should have a contract - the hours you are available, your pay, any future raises, your responsibilities, etc. Both of you sign it. If he does something out of line - sorry, I'm not available Friday afternoon, etc.

But honestly, I think zaq has it right. It is not a good situation. What is keeping you there? the threat of his badmouthing you? If he is someone you can cut contact with, I would say get out. If he is a relative or someone close... you should still get out, but more gracefully LOL. Maybe just start being more and more unavailable. Honestly, how successful will his business be with this behavior? Clients, banks - all sound like they will get sick of him, and soon.

Here's a question: what is keeping you there? family connection? belief in the business? fear of his bad mouthing?
Back to top

rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 02 2015, 8:34 pm
My advice, update your resume and find another job! It's just not worth it to work with unprofessional people.

I had to do that myself recently. Was in a job with an unprofessional manager. Had worked there for many, many years, but our boss was unprofessional and picked on people. Usually I didn't have to deal with this person much, because I always had a wonderful supervisor who I reported to directly. But then all the great supervisors quit and then the manager tried pulling the not nice behavior on me. I had enough, started job hunting and in a few months found another job. I now work with an absolutely wonderful new team and was even able to get myself a raise. I'm much happier, less stressed and actually look forward to going to work these days.

If you need help with updating your resume, job hunting, feel free to pm. Since I just went through job hunt, interview process myself, happy to share my tips and experience.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Working Women

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Do I need to give my boss Mishloach Manos
by lolymom
8 Mon, Mar 04 2024, 4:04 pm View last post
Giving a boss
by amother
4 Wed, Feb 28 2024, 10:23 am View last post
I'm a boss at work AMA
by amother
21 Sun, Jan 21 2024, 2:57 pm View last post
by zaq
How much to share with boss
by amother
22 Sun, Jan 21 2024, 12:13 pm View last post
Boss - wwyd
by amother
25 Thu, Jan 18 2024, 7:43 am View last post
by bat1