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When wife fell ill, divorce followed



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blueberries




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 06 2015, 10:47 am
Washington (AFP) - Marriages are more likely to end in divorce if the wife takes seriously ill, a US study has found.

The research, detailed in the March issue of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, found that divorce was six percent more likely if the wife fell ill, than if she remained in good health.

In contrast, when husbands fell gravely ill, the likelihood of divorce was unchanged, the researchers found.

The study, led by Iowa State University's Amelia Karraker monitored 2,701 marriages over almost two decades; at the start of the study one of the partners had to be at least 51 years old.

In the end, 32 percent ended in divorce while 24 percent led to one of the partners becoming a widow or widower, the research found.

Illness often can take a serious toll on couples, largely for financial reasons, and can hasten divorce, Karraker explained.

And the quality of care-giving is a major factor.

Wives are largely less satisfied with the care from their husbands, Karraker said. She said that men, particularly older ones, often have not been socialized to be caregivers in the same way women often are.

"Life or death experiences may cause people to reevaluate what's important in their lives," Karraker said.

"It could be that women are saying, 'You're doing a bad job of caring for me. I'm not happy with this, or I wasn't happy with the relationship to begin with, and I'd rather be alone than be in a bad marriage.'"
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blueberries




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 06 2015, 10:51 am
I didn't think that wifes were the ones divorcing their husband. I thought men were just not interested in dealing with caring for his wife. Interesting twist.
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 06 2015, 10:57 am
That was also my immediate reaction...

I wonder if the study proved it as a cause, or it's mere speculation.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 06 2015, 11:59 am
I've known couples to divorce for financial reasons when faced with catastrophic medical issues. I wonder if those folks were part of that survey?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 06 2015, 4:35 pm
Sorry, that researcher's speculation that women say "I would rather be alone than be married to a man who does not do a good job caring for me" makes no sense. Not when the caring refers not to concern and love but to literally taking physical care of. Serious illness in the family puts enormous stress on couples, and many marriages that are OK under normal circumstances are simply not strong enough to take that kind of strain.
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smilingmom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 06 2015, 5:07 pm
Twenty five years watching divorcing couple and I concur with the author that serious illness of the wife can be a factor in divorce. Though a six percent increase does not seem so significant to me.
Some of the reasons though that he did not mention is that the side effects of heavy duty medications and chemo may cause a negative change in personality, which can add strife to the stress of illness. Also as magenta mentioned is the financial stress of less income and medical bills can be a major factor. When the running of the household shifts disproportionately on one person, additional stress occurs.
Jews and other non-Christians do not have the concept of "in sickness and in health", making divorce an option.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 07 2015, 1:52 pm
Older men may know less, but older women are less likely to seek divorce.

I've seen couples divorced or separated by illness of one or the other, and it generally ws NOT the will of the sick one.
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ven




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 07 2015, 6:35 pm
Euhmm why would one seperate from the only caregiver and be left with #nothing# ? I always get very angry hearing about men "run" when wife gets cancer ,etc ... Am I wrong ?
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Yael3




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 07 2015, 7:46 pm
I'd be curious to know more about the diversity in the sample of that study. E.g. Religious background/beliefs of the participants? I also wonder what a replicate of that study would look like if done on a population of frum Jews...
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