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Do you dress down when using the NYC subway?
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mazal555




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 7:00 pm
youngishbear wrote:
If I realize I'm wearing my diamond ring (which happened a lot more when I was a newlywed) I turn it inward so it looks like a simple ring.


Jewelry thieves look for body language like that. If the ring was fake, you wouldn't be nervous. If you bothered to turn it around, it's worth a lot and worth stealing.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 7:48 pm
I'm a little nervous to post this under my screenname because I know someone will get offended. Please don't take this the wrong way, I simply want to share an observation and I definitely do not mean to put down any individual or group.

Until I read others' responses, this is what I thought the thread was going to be about:
I ride the subways a lot, for work and general transportation, and wear my 'regular' work and general clothes. I believe that besides for modesty (long skirts, fully covered even in Spring/Summer) my wardrobe is pretty similar to other professionals riding the subway.
When I am on the train in middle of the day, I often notice women apparently from Williamsburg and maybe Boro Park (one of the trains I regularly take also goes to Williamsburg, hence the assumption) Their style is markedly different than the average subway rider. Please do not hear what I am not saying - I have nothing against this style. I realize that it comes from a place of wanting to look dignified, perhaps with an element of wanting to feel like bnei melachim. But the appearance is not merely classy, but fancy and rich. I understand that it doesn't take much to use some hairspray to make your sheitel look like you just styled it when you probably spent a total of 3 minutes on it that day, but to the onlooker it looks like you must be rich and pampered if you get all dolled up like that to go shopping. Your makeup looks beautiful, in fact I wish I knew how to make my skin look so smooth, but again it is more in line with special-occasion wear for subway riders. And I'd readily believe that you are a great seamstress or a great bargain-hunter and spent less on your tailored suit and dress shoes than the teenager next to you spent on his torn-look jeans and sneakers (both of which are obnoxiously expensive and purposely made to look dressed-down, so it's ironic if they look at you as being "rich" but that's just the way it is) And I understand that with having a baby every year your expensive stroller is an investment and you might have given up other things to afford it, for all I know.

So I do understand your lifestyle and have nothing against your way of dress in theory. But at the same time, I also do wish you'd tone it down a bit when you go out on the subway. In a climate of general suspicion and anti-semitism, when even outside of anti-semitism there is a lot of unrest about the gap between rich and poor, I worry about the image it gives us when people dressed in practical/casual and going to and from work or school see you on the subway, dressed to the nines, full face of makeup, professionally styled "hair," pushing a dolled up baby in a custom frilly bunting in a bugaboo, and loaded down with department store bags. Even if this is your one day off, and you were only shopping the clearance, it still makes it look like Jews are a bunch of pampered rich society people who do nothing but shop all day, style their hair, and do their makeup. Because the look really sticks out. You and I know that you do this maybe a couple of days a year, but if there are a different 5 ladies just like you on each train each day they don't realize that. I'm sure there are plenty of people, mostly non-Jews, who do in fact do a whole lot of fancy department-store shopping in professional hair and makeup on a frequent basis, but those people are probably taking cabs and not very noticed by your average subway commuter like me.

I don't know, it just worries me. Again, I'm not trying to put anyone down, I'm just sharing what I observe, which is that the women of certain communities stick out quite a lot on the subway and I don't think it's a good thing.
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2kiddos




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 8:23 pm
As a williamsburg subway rider, I felt compelled to respond.
Let me start by saying that I was truly not insulted. I can't talk for all of us but for myself. I thought about it recently while riding the train.

You brought up valid reasons why we dress the way we do, you seem to know the answers.

One point was omitted, that we simply have a more formal way of dress. We always dress formally. No matter the occasion. Do we always look rich? Does a suit always cost more than a t-shirt?

Regarding the make up, I get up a few minutes earlier every day to put on make up, regardless of my plans. It makes me feel good about myself. I don't think it should be changed because someone on the train will think I'm a rich pampered woman.

The only thing I avoid is, my jewelry. I don't think I have to, but I feel more comfortable without.
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vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 8:52 pm
Lady Bug wrote:
I have a fur jacket and I don't wear that when I take the subway. I don't want any PETA activists ganging up on me and I don't want to look like a target for theft.


I wear my grandmother's fur jacket nearly every day in the winter, I don't even remember the last time I heard about anyone from PETA screaming at normal people on the street.

I could toss the coat, which is a waste and means the poor animal died for nothing. or I can wear it and be warm, because frankly nothing is warmer than fur. note: this is not some fancy coat, and I'm wearing it with giant winter boots. I'm a sight to behold, but I'm wearing earrings and lipstick in an attempt not to look homeless.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:21 am
I lived in NYC in the 80's, when subway crime was absolutely rampant. I worked in midtown offices where I was expected to dress conservatively and very elegant. (Front desk receptionist for fashion houses.)

I wore sneakers with my business suits, and kept heels in my desk at the office. I put my shoulder bag on BEFORE I put on my coat, so that the strap would not be accessible, and always wore the purse part in the front so I could keep my hand on it. I never wore jewelry on the train, it was always in a zippered side compartment in my handbag.

I carried two sets of money. My main money was in my makeup bag, and I kept a couple of 10 and 5 dollar bills in a throwaway wallet in case a mugger insisted that I hand it over. I was told that if the wallet was empty or there wasn't enough money in it, that muggers could become enraged and violent because they were desperate for drugs, so better to pay them off a bit and run the other direction.

Fortunately in the 4 years I lived there I didn't have any serious trouble, but because I felt prepared I probably didn't walk around feeling like a potential victim, and therefore didn't give off "mug me" vibes, either.

Plan for the worst, hope for the best, and keep your posture straight. Whatever your do, know your route well and don't look like you're lost.

Oh, one more thing. Whenever a cashier hands you loose change, put it in your coat pocket. You'll want to have it handy to give to homeless people, instead of standing out in the open digging through your purse looking for quarters. Being able to just reach in and drop it in the cup, guitar case, or whatever is quick and efficient.
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