Standing up for my baby. help me be assertive!!!

chani8

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 10:29 am

Iymnok wrote:

Chani8, the problem is she's to timid to express any control. She's scared of the mitapelet. She's asking for advice how to express what she wants to the lady that's clueless due to op's fear.

Thank you for correcting me. An israeli mitapelet can be hard to argue with. She will listen a doctor's order, though, or something like that, that looks official. Ask your family doctor to write a note, blaming waiting on solids because of possible family allergies or something. The mitapelet wont understand carbs verses breast milk.

Frumdoc

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 8:03 pm

Maybe if you come up with a medical sounding excuse it might be more reasonable to her than just your opinion v hers.

So telling her that you have many allergies in the family, and your doctor advised you not to start on any solids until 6 months at the earliest, and then in a cautious way, avoiding all processed food such as rusks or cereal, may provide an excuse that averts the confrontation.

This is a common enough reason to be classed as a valid excuse rather than just pitting your will against her experience. A white lie to avoid embarrassment and promote shalom between the caregivers.

sunnybrook

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 6:27 am

Sorry you seem to be having such a discouraging relationship with the metapelet. But since I've seen lots of changes from baby to baby what were the feeding recommendations for each age, I feel you should not worry so much about this being a threat to your baby's health. {eg the current ongoing debate whether introducing peanuts early PREVENTS allergies later].
So we don't really know what the absolute best feeding schedule is, I think it is more important right now for you and your baby to have a good relationship with the staff. Maybe if you "consult" her about feeding policy, emphasize that you are asking her bec she is so very experienced but you keep getting other advice from your pediatrician [blame it on him, not your own "meshugassim'], or maybe even say your mother keeps reminding you no solids, only BF, maybe you can get her to "humor" you. That your doctor or your mother saw the evidence in the diaper.
The metaplelt may even have her own hang-ups about snotty "know-it-all" Anglos. Rolling Eyes

Maybe even this is the maon policy that all babies are given solids at meal time and she just didn't remember that you objected.
While I was typing this, just realized I know a young Israeli who works in a maon, called & asked --maybe this is even the maon your kid goes to! She said, yes, this is standard policy to give all the kids fruits, but their mifakachat [supervisor] keeps having to remind the staff not to add biscuits! She did suggest that if you are really opposed, you could say that your pediatrician prohibits bec of possible allergies in the family -- then they are very scared and bend over backwards to avoid the "allergens" you forbid.
Remember to always sandwich any criticism between a compliment before and after. Best wishes.

m in Israel

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 6:47 am

sunnybrook wrote:

In a situation like this I think this is not the best approach. Most responsible metapelets will follow your requirements even if they think it is a "mishugas" -- after all you are the parent. But if you are wishy-washy and make it sound like you are unsure but feeling pressure to do it this way, she may actually think she is helping you out my supporting your right to stand up to your interfering mother! I feel that all of the long excuses and beating around the bush that many posters have suggested are making this into a much bigger issue then it has to be. I am willing to bet that the metapelet will not go against a direct instruction "please don't give my baby anything except expressed milk", and will actually be a lot less offended by a simple, direct request (even if she thinks it is silly) then to make it into a battle of whose advice you respect more and if the doctor agrees or disagrees with her feeding approaches.