This happened at the park and I got very upset

amother

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:51 pm

I was at the park with my kids a couple days ago. It was very quiet. It was my kids and I, one other lady with her daughter, and a few teenagers playing ball.

It was very very clear that the other lady's child suffered from severe autism. She couldn't speak, only made small noises, she had no boundaries, and she showed signs of sensory issues.

She kept taking my kids bikes and getting them muddy but I didn't say anything since my kids were playing on the park toys and it was obvious the mom was having a hard time.

At some point the girl got a ball muddy, I assumed it was hers.

All of the sudden one of the teenagers came over and took the ball and started yelling at me and the other mom really loud "That is disrespectful. You got it all muddy, F*cking white people- you don't respect anyone. Racists" His friends just stood there laughing. "

The mother went beat red and went to the other side of the park. I got very upset. I didn't say anything cause I thought it would make everything worse but feel like I was wrong and I should have told the kid that if he wants respect he should have some compassion for a person with special needs.

I never came across outright comments like this and I had no idea how to react.

greenfire

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 3:27 pm

on the other hand ... you can't change the way the teenager is - and being right isn't always being the safest ... so maybe he was provoking

perhaps diffusing his anger by helping clean the ball would teach him a better lesson

octopus

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 6:36 pm

I agree with above posters. Don't start up with ppl you don't know. They could be violent and/or criminal. They were the ones making racist comments, talk about hypocrites. You have to protect yourself and your child. I also agree with above poster, the safer way would be to comfort the mom, say something with chizuk. This is also one of the recommended ways for bystanders to deal with bullying. A bystander doesn't have to "stand up" to a bully, even though they can. But it's not always a safe thing to do. . Giving the victim support by going over to them, talking, empathizing. These are all empowering to the victim as well. Keep in mind, when these kinds of things happen, it's also hard to think on the spot what you could do. So don't beat yourself up with I could've/should've. We all do things like this and it's just not productive.