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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
I can't live without an eruv



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amother


 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 12:27 pm
I am probably just spoiled, but I am so used to having an eruv that I find not having one extremely difficult, especially when you have kids. We are going to Florida for pesach and the community we are staying in has no eruv. There are 2 long shabbosim. I am very nervous about this. What if I want to take a walk with my kids and can't bring along drinks for them. Its Florida. Its going to be hot. I don't want to have to run back to where we are staying any time someone gets hungry or thirsty. Any advice?
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 1:12 pm
If they are below age of Chinuch maybe you can strap canteens to them
Ask your. Rov
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The Happy Wife




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 1:16 pm
Drink before you go out. It's helps more than drinking after you're already overheated in that kind of climate anyway. Also make sure that everyone has a snack before.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 1:24 pm
Other than changing your plans and going to a place with an eruv, the only practical advice would be to give yourself a massive attitude transplant. yes, you are spoiled. Yes, you can live without an eruv. People have successfully done so in many places for many generations and continue to do so in our own times without descending into child abuse or madness. It's hot? The kids are thirsty? Take shorter walks. If the kids are so small they have to drink that often, chances are they will have to pee pretty soon,too, and eruv or no eruv you will have to troop back to your lodgings. If you are a Northerner, chances are your dc should not be out in the sun that long anyway. The sun is much more intense in FL than in NJ or Brooklyn.

So what if you go out and come back a few times? Unless you are staying on the tenth floor in a building with no Shabbos elevator, what difference does it make if you go in and out a few times? With Shabbosim that long, why would you NOT want to break up the day by taking several trips outdoors instead of one long hike? The first time walk in one direction, the next time in another, the third time in a third direction. Consider this an adventure in living history. People pay money to vacation in historic restoration villages and farms for the privilege and fun of living and working for a few days or weeks the way people did centuries ago. This is your chance to do something similar. It is superb chinuch for your children who should learn through practice, not only in theory, that carrying is assur on Shabbos. You would be surprised how many otherwise frum people don't truly grasp this issur as they have never actually lived it. When you learn by doing the lesson stays with you.

Cheer up.You should be able to dine out for weeks afterwards on amazing tales of your heroic survival of two whole Shabbosim without an eruv.
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vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 1:33 pm
amother wrote:
Other than changing your plans and going to a place with an eruv, the only practical advice would be to give yourself a massive attitude transplant. yes, you are spoiled. Yes, you can live without an eruv. People have successfully done so in many places for many generations and continue to do so in our own times without descending into child abuse or madness. It's hot? The kids are thirsty? Take shorter walks. If the kids are so small they have to drink that often, chances are they will have to pee pretty soon,too, and eruv or no eruv you will have to troop back to your lodgings. If you are a Northerner, chances are your dc should not be out in the sun that long anyway. The sun is much more intense in FL than in NJ or Brooklyn.

So what if you go out and come back a few times? Unless you are staying on the tenth floor in a building with no Shabbos elevator, what difference does it make if you go in and out a few times? With Shabbosim that long, why would you NOT want to break up the day by taking several trips outdoors instead of one long hike? The first time walk in one direction, the next time in another, the third time in a third direction. Consider this an adventure in living history. People pay money to vacation in historic restoration villages and farms for the privilege and fun of living and working for a few days or weeks the way people did centuries ago. This is your chance to do something similar. It is superb chinuch for your children who should learn through practice, not only in theory, that carrying is assur on Shabbos. You would be surprised how many otherwise frum people don't truly grasp this issur as they have never actually lived it. When you learn by doing the lesson stays with you.

Cheer up.You should be able to dine out for weeks afterwards on amazing tales of your heroic survival of two whole Shabbosim without an eruv.


this is unkind. if you're going to be unkind, do it under your own name.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 2:08 pm
yup, its hard. No eruv where I live and I basically can't go out on shabbos since I have small children who can't walk far. bh I live very close to shul so I can get there but thats about it. Parks and most friends live too far away, and my husband needs to be in shul for mincha so can't babysit for too long. On the long summer shabbosim I go out to a shuir on my own.

You know some people look forward to shabbos? not me. I look forward to motzei shabbos. That is when my yom menucha begins. No child abuse or madness here but shabbos is definitely the least favourite day of my week. And that makes me sad.

But in any case it is 2 days out of your trip. You will be fine. Bring some board games. At least you don't have a baby so you can go somewhere.
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OOTBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 3:29 pm
Guess what, when many of us raised our children in the previous generations, almost no US cities had eruvin. Guess what, we got through each Shabbos fine; we survived, kids did fine too. Most Brooklyn mothers are in the same boat today as the majority of people living there do not use the eruv there.
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momX4




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 3:52 pm
Get some new toys, games and books and take them out on shabbos.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 4:49 pm
honestly, I myself got really used to having & using an eruv ... if you want to go to shul in florida - at least where I've been, even that is a far trip - I wished I would have been young enough to carry a backpack with a snack ... and I'm an adult [I had to go to the kiddie group and ask for a snack Cool - you can't beat em join em - eh Mr. Green]

I would find out if you can do this for your children - with a child size kiddie pack that they could wear
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gibberish




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 9:05 pm
If there are any convenience stores in the area, you can ask if you can prepay for a drink before Shabbos and then stop by for a drink on Shabbos. I have heard this idea from someone who used to do it every week.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 22 2015, 9:10 pm
gibberish wrote:
If there are any convenience stores in the area, you can ask if you can prepay for a drink before Shabbos and then stop by for a drink on Shabbos. I have heard this idea from someone who used to do it every week.


isn't that maros ayin ... someone might think they're buying it

I should think it's better to carry your own drink than go into the store - even for the kids' chinuch
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 5:00 am
So about 95% people I know will die?
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BetsyTacy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 8:10 am
I think the difference here is that OP wants her non-eruv Shabbatot to feel like vacation days. People unused to eruvim think of Shabbos as a "regular" Shabbos where they have thought about what to do with their kids without needing an eruv, like shorter walks, interesting board games, books, etc. OP wants to feel like it is a vacation Shabbos. That is why most of us in Chutz managed to survive childhood without an eruv--a. no expectations of one and b. we weren't trying to feel like every Shabbos was a vacation--it was special enough because it was Shabbos.
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ez-pass




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:21 am
I always had an eruv and recently moved to a new community where we do not have an eruv yet. It is hard, however I am learning a lot. My kids have learnt that I cant carry them outside and they must walk. (Bh my kids both walk). I honestly cant wait until the eruv goes up by us but until then we are working with it.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:34 am
ez-pass wrote:
I always had an eruv and recently moved to a new community where we do not have an eruv yet. It is hard, however I am learning a lot. My kids have learnt that I cant carry them outside and they must walk. (Bh my kids both walk). I honestly cant wait until the eruv goes up by us but until then we are working with it.


did you know that a person who can walk - can also be carried outside of using an eruv ... just sayin'
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bluebird




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:36 am
You get used to what you get used to, and it's hard to have to adjust to something so different and limiting. Definitely drink a lot over the weekend to get hydrated, wear hats with brims to keep the sun off a bit (really helps), and maybe try planning your walks near places you can get a drink like friends' houses or parks with outdoor water fountains (they usually don't have electric pumps).

Can you brainstorm other things to do on Shabbat that are new to keep you occupiedx, like a new shabbat-friendly game?
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:58 am
I grew up without an Eruv. No big deal, except I was the kid not the mother Very Happy .

Do your kids expect drinks every time they're out of the house for 10 minutes? Florida is deadly hot in the summer but Pesach in the beginning of April just might be beautiful weather. No one will dehydrate if you go out without water for half an hour (check the weather. It may be hotter but it might be springlike). I lived in Florida and I don't remember people walking around with water bottles.
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