Frum Survivor Sima tells her story publicly for the 1st time

greenfire

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 10:31 pm

more people should be brave like her ...

I'm saddened to hear how the rabbis hushed the molestation, turned against her & the community from her family ... but not surprised

cannot believe I missed the cleveland event - one which I would have attended - too bad there wasn't much publicity

kudos to Meyer Seewald for making this happen !!!

http://www.jewishcommunitywatc.....buse/

debsey

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 11:19 pm

First of all, major hug to Sima for speaking out.

I'm confused - it's pretty clear who the social worker "Debbie" from Aleinu is - doesn't she have the obligation to call the police, since the man is a current danger and is in a position where he can have easy access to children? I understand that the victim didn't want to go the justice department route - but I'm not sure the social worker is allowed to not report. (not talking about moral, ethical or halachic now - simply legal)I'm not sure that the law allows the social worker to respect the victim's wishes over the law to report, since the man is around minors.
I'm just plain confused.

ROFL

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 12:43 am

So am I. Also can't sima go to the police now and make a complaint. There is a law that you can go to the police after the abuse once your an adult.
If there was other victims I wish they all get the strength to go and make complaints to the police too.

amother

Purple

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 2:48 am

debsey wrote:

Because the victim is above 18. Legally, the adult is on her own. A mandated reporter is for children. There is nothing anyone can do if the victims themselves don't come forward. The social worker has her hands tied in the back.

And for the poster that is shocked about the rabbis, looks like Sima was shocked too... I am not.

esther09

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 6:54 am

What an amazing woman, what an inspiration. May she have the strength to continue to heal.

What I find the most shocking is that this man is still allowed to live and work in a community??

oliveoil

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 9:31 am

greenfire wrote:

Not much publicity? I live nowhere near cleveland and heard about it dozens of times in the weeks leading up.

forever21

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 9:42 am

Her speech was very well said. I also wondered throughout the speech when she was going to nane her abuser. Didn't she mention that she has gone to the police? Well Isnt there such a thing as a statue of limitations where a person can't press charges after a certain anount of time has gone by?

chani8

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:04 am

I'm not sure, but I think there is a statute of limitations of like 5 years, which starts from when a person remembers the abuse, but only if they repressed the memories, which wasn't the case here.

She didn't name the abuser but did direct us to his name. She risked getting sued for slander by saying his name since he has never been legally accused.

I'm thrilled that she named the rabbonim. Kol hakavod to her for that.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:27 am

I don't know this case exactly but the issue of "mandatory reporting" is and has been a major one in many frum organizations. The rule is "suspected" and you must charge. But I believe this was one of the issues Aleinu had (and possibly why they don't really exist anymore).

She did mention she was 17 when she came forward. And no mandatory reporter who heard about it in the course of their job reported it? Rabbi's must report as well!!!

(Anon because I lived in LA).

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:30 am

amother wrote:

But there were other victims that came forward. None were under 18? (She said that when her abuser was fired there were other victims who they found out about).

ValleyMom

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:43 am

I believe the statute of limitations runs out after 10 years.

I am proud that she stepped forward- hopefully she empowers other teens to take a stand against their aggressors.

The most important take away from all this is to have an open line of communication with your kids especially during the turbulent teenage years where emotions and hormones run amok.

Many teens are confused and not sure if "what happened" actually happened and go into "lock down"mode as a way of dealing with their conflicting emotions.

That is why so many young men and women "forget"what happened until years and years later.

Parents need to learn to watch for subtle changes in their teens behavior so they know when something is not okay.

Sima has no idea how her brief talk empowers young people everywhere.

Thank you Sima for finding your inner strength- you have NO idea how many young people will be affected by you.

amother

Coral

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:52 am

amother wrote:

Really? Are you from LA? I am and I'm still pretty shocked. Then again I didn't even know that Rabbi Goldenberg was part of the Bais Din. I'm the most shocked about him and Rabbi Bess, they don't seem the type to sweep things under the rug.

Raisin

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 11:39 am

im pretty shocked FOUR Rabbis (from different groups, it seems) swept it under the rug. One I can understand but four???

Also, she went to therapy as a teen. Obviously her parents knew something was wrong but she wouldn't say anything.

greenfire

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 11:48 am

oliveoil wrote:

Not much publicity? I live nowhere near cleveland and heard about it dozens of times in the weeks leading up.

I heard about it once - but my chaotic life & the hard winter & aged memory needed a reminder ... oops

as I mentioned - it's something I would have liked to go to - especially having meyer in my house as a teen - I would have wanted to support his valiant efforts

justcallmeima

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 12:20 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Many times a victim won't go to the authorities since they will have to repeat over and over what happened, re-traumatizing themselves

Especially when it doesn't go so well when you do that the first time!

amother

Purple

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 12:22 pm

chani8 wrote:

In NY, the statute of limitations expire 5 years after one is an adult, 18 years. Thats until the 23rd birthday. They are trying to change that, but so far it hasn't passed.

Shuly

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 1:16 pm

I'm so impressed by Sima. She is a brave, strong, smart and inspiring woman. I would be honored to be her friend.
I hope she will give courage to others survivors that you can come forward and that people will admire and respect you.