I just can't do it all.....

amother

Maroon

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 5:46 pm

and not suffer the consequences. Physically and emotionally and mentally.

Under normal circumstances, I exercise 2-3 times a week at home on my elliptical and do stretches afterwards. This keeps my body not pain free, but I'm able to manage my pain. I have constant muscle tightness in my neck, back, lower back. When I don't take care of myself I really suffer. I started seeing a chiropractor about 4 weeks ago and he really has helped me manage my neck tightness. But since Pesach prep I haven't seen him for the past 2 weeks (just cannot afford 90 dollars per week now). And have not been able to exercise at home for the past few weeks. I just can't make the time. I work 3 days a week. my married kids are staying with me for yom Tov. My elliptical machine is downstairs where my daughter and son in law are sleeping (they are visiting me for a month from Israel). With taking care of my household and working part time, There is no way I can take care of my needs but I feel that I too young to suffer like this (49)

I cannot move as I am typing this. Is this how things are supposed to be? I don't think so.....

Miri7

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 6:39 pm

If you are physically able to, get on your elliptical. Tell DD and SIL that you need it to be able to function and I'm sure they will be happy to help make sure you can hop on it a few times a week. Work out a time and I'm sure they would be happy to hang out elsewhere for you to do it.

They see how much you are doing and that you suffer and would probably love to know they can help in this way.

Make your health a priority and delegate as much as possible. Pesach is so much sweeter when everyone feels that they have done something to make it come together. Let them know what they can do!

Hope you are feeling better soon!

amother

Maroon

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 7:10 pm

They do help me. A lot. I do delegate.
If I exercise that is at least 1.5 hrs. I really can't afford that time.

I think I am very bad at managing my time I must be if I can't get my sh:t together.
I feel that my work is never ever done. No matter what. Ie laundry, ironing, cooking etc when my dh comes home after a lon g day of work he sits on the couch and falls asleep. Not his fault. He puts in a 12 hr day. But his work is done when he comes home. Not me
I just made an appt with a massage therapist tomorrow night at 8:30.

Am I alone on this?

seeker

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 8:46 pm

Good for you for setting up the massage.

D and SIL are staying with you for a month and benefiting from your hospitality, there is nothing wrong with saying you need the use of the space with the exercise machine for "this" time and during that time they can please make themselves comfortable upstairs or wherever else in town they want (what does one DO on a month-long visit? Gosh that has never happened to me, I can't imagine how boring it would be)

Why can't you exercise for half an hour at a time? Surely that would be better than nothing.

Do you really want to be hosting all these kids in this condition? Can they bring some of the food at least? Maybe it's time for them to take turns hosting you.

imasinger

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 10:47 pm

Maybe try planning rest time into your day.

DD and SIL should be giving you an hour or more a day of ironing, cookng, laundry, etc.

Make a point of starting each day with a list. Figure out which things are most important and label them "A". Then, figure your "B" list. There might even be some C's. Figure out which thing on the A list should be done first, which second, etc,. Exercise and/or rest should be on that A list, before you get seriously ill.

Which things can you delegate or move to the B or C lists?

amother

Maroon

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 7:24 pm

My massage therapist cancelled my appt today. She is under the weather. I had a sheitel appt today for 12:00 but thought it was at 1:30 ( had it in my calender for the right time ) so now I xant get my new sheitel cut for yom Tov. I lve been waiting so long to get it cut Sad

. Was so looking forward.

My children don't know how burnt out I feel. I don't want to tell them. They really try their best to help out but at the end of the day isn't the whole responsibility on our shoulders??

My dh doesn't get it. His brother in law wiyh 2 kids are coming to town this Sunday to visit. They asked to sleep over for the night. We had to decline (thank g-d) Cz we just don't have the space. But my dh asked me if we can have them over for supper!! I said no & I feel like such a witch with a b. I want my dh to know on his own to tell our bil that it's erev Pesach and no it's not a good idea. Why do I have to be the bad one?
I know this Shabbos there are many Shuls having meals for families. Fine we are not going as the expense is too much. But his sister (single) is coming for Shabbos even though we are so squished. She will have to bunk with my 10 year old special needs son.

Please tell me if I am being unreasonable and unrealistic.

Am I alone?

PinkFridge

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 8:27 pm

amother wrote:

No, you're not. This is a challenging time of year, especially for those of us who don't feel we have our acts fully together the rest of the year. You really sound heroic and together. And your family sounds great, and like you'll have a wonderful yom tov together. I wish I had solutions. If you could budget the time, maybe not a full half hour but 15-20 minutes absolutely make a time to get the kids out of the room. Give them a tarp to spread over their stuff if it's a mess Very Happy

. But if you can't, you can't. Hugs!

amother

Olive

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 8:43 pm

I feel your pain (literally). I'm only 30 and I have similar back conditions.
Do you have health insurance? Sometimes they cover chiropractic visits. Or maybe you can set up a payment plan to space out payments?

And please ask for help, from your husband or children or both. Don't be a martyr.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:23 pm

Thank u pink fridge. Your words mean a lot. Imh well have a nice yom Tov.

I feel so bad complainibg and feeling moody when pple have it so much Worse than me. But of late , for the past few years things have been getting harder & harder for me. I just can't do what I used to.

I guess that's just how it is