A system to reduce fighting - 8 yrs old

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 9:10 pm

I have twin 8 yr old girls, and recently their fighting has gotten out of hand. Both physical fighting and name calling, yelling at each other, etc. Probably not worse than average sister stuff (esp since they ARE twins), but I would like to encourage and teach them to be nicer to each other. They generally respond well to charts, but I am not quite sure how to structure it. I am thinking some sort of point system, where you gain points for doing nice things and lose points for name calling, etc.

I would love to hear how some of you have handled this, whether with a chart or not. If you did do the chart, what were the incentives, and how did you set the ground rules about what counts/doesn't count? How long did you do it for?

Thanks in advance!

marina

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 9:33 pm

sure. One option is the ice cream system. You start off the day with 3 scoops (size depends on your scoop size, in my case we used a tea spoon) and then you lose a scoop for each unkind situation (must define) and gain a scoop for each kindness you do to the other person. Ice cream is eaten just before bedtime. You can't save up more than ___ number of scoops, etc.

Thu, Mar 26 2015, 9:36 pm

Wow, did they end up eating a lot of ice cream? LOL

I know my kids would be amazing to each other if ice cream was involved..... I would love an idea that doesn't involve food, though....

lfab

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 12:51 pm

Here's an idea I've been thinking about implementing with my own kids:
A few weeks ago DD came home from school talking about a book called "Have you filled a bucket today" that her morah read to the class in school. The premise is that everyone has an invisible bucket and when you do/say nice things it fills their bucket but when you say/do not nice things it empties their bucket. So, my idea is to give each child a small bucket. When they are caught saying/doing something nice they get to put a marble (or other small token) into their bucket. If they say/do something mean they lose a marble. My kids are young enough that getting to put the marble in their bucket will be enough of a prize. If your kids need more of a motivator than either at the end of each day or the end of the week the child with the most marbles gets some sort of small prize.Since your kids are a little older you can even allow them to award each other when the other does/says something nice.

octopus

Fri, Mar 27 2015, 1:20 pm

lfab wrote:

that's an awesome book!