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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach
Too much hired help?!
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 1:18 pm
zaq wrote:
When you hire help you are enabling someone else to make an honest living. So long as you pay them fairly and treat them with respect, it's all good.


This!

In many cultures, people who don't have additional household help when they could afford it are considered very selfish.

Ironically, as much as people talk about deprivation in pre-war Europe, it was uncommon even in relatively poor shtetls to *not* have household help. As Raisin pointed out, a good balabusta was a manager, not a shmatte.

Today, we have much larger living quarters, yet we feel guilty if we don't scrub every sink and toilet ourselves -- usually after working a full day.

If cleaning isn't your passion and you can afford help, use your time and energy in other ways.

If you work at paid employment, hiring household help enables you to give your employer your full energy and attention during your work hours -- instead of being hungover from doing that last load of laundry the night before.

If you're a SAHM who gains some extra time as a result of household help, Hashem is giving you the resources to do wonderful things for your community through volunteer work, chesed activities, or even just being available to help people out without resenting the time and energy it takes.

Hatzlacha, and don't feel guilty!
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 2:05 pm
We earn well over half a million per year in income. I have 4 hrs of cleaning help per week. No babysitting help, no cooking, no laundry. Just the basics once a week. (floors, bathrooms, sheets) I handle most of Pesach myself - we stay home every year, do the sedarim ourselves.

I take pride in the fact that I'm a stay at home mom and I spend the majority of my time with my kids and taking care of our home. That's what I gave up my career for, not to go to the gym and shop every day. I do those too just in small doses. Smile
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 4:27 pm
imaima wrote:
WHile we are at it: how do you get your cleaner to do the laundry? Does she know what belongs to which child? I have kids close in age, and if they are wearing plain white undershirts, she won't be able to recognize what belongs to whom and put it away accordingly. Like, a boys and a girls undershirt are almost the same, there is a little bow on the girl's and it is one size smaller, but the cleaner has no idea and she overlooks these things.


Put the name, or a colour code or something. Or just know the thing could be somewhere else. My cleaning lady mixes up MY stuff and dd’s sometimes, I chose to be flattered Very Happy

If I could afford, my energy would only go toward my family. Not cooking outside of family dishes/what I enjoy, certainly not cleaning. I still would make sure my kids get married knowing the basics. I don’t pride myself in the housework.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:28 pm
Ruchel wrote:
Put the name, or a colour code or something. Or just know the thing could be somewhere else. My cleaning lady mixes up MY stuff and dd’s sometimes, I chose to be flattered Very Happy

If I could afford, my energy would only go toward my family. Not cooking outside of family dishes/what I enjoy, certainly not cleaning. I still would make sure my kids get married knowing the basics. I don’t pride myself in the housework.
[quote]

That's a big thing to ask for, can my kids get married knowing how and wanting to keep house if I dont?
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:37 pm
amother wrote:
my cleaning help is doing all the pesach cleaning for me.
seriously all of it.
twice I had to redo something she hadnt done well, and I think thats all the cleaning I did so far.

that bit reminded me why I hire cleaning help instead of doing it all myself. I got so wiped out from the cleaning I did, that its just not worth it. figuring out what to tell her to clean and when to do it is already a job. thats my job. I wouldnt say I dont clean for pesach. I just dont do the physical labor. I just cant. I'm not spoiled, or a baby or anything. I am very grateful that we can afford the help so that I dont have to exhaust myself cleaning. I feel normal and happy going into pesach, and thats the important thing.


This is me exactly. This year specifically, I am physically unwell, so the one or two jobs I would normally do, she is doing as well. I am grateful to HaShem I can afford help. I do look at women who manage it all in awe and wonderment. I really feel that I would be physically unable to accomplish all that. But I guess HaShem gives us what we can handle. My life, although blessed, is not one big bowl of cherries in many other areas.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 8:05 am
[quote="amother"]
Quote:


That's a big thing to ask for, can my kids get married knowing how and wanting to keep house if I dont?


Of course. If you teach it, or they get lessons, or any other way, they'll know much more than someone without cleaning help who doesn't give chores
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 12:48 pm
I grew up with lots of cleaning help. My husband didn't. I care much more about having a clean home than he does. I do lots of cleaning, dishwashing, laundry. Etc. even though I never did as a kid because there is no one else to do it. None of these things were hard to learn. Even though my parents didn't teach me how to do these things they taught me that cleaning isn't below us. If you can afford help,great, if not, you just do it yourself. Right now I have three hours of help a week and we are managing fine.
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ohmygosh




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 1:46 pm
Quote:
That's a big thing to ask for, can my kids get married knowing how and wanting to keep house if I dont?


In my opinion, no matter how much cleaning help you can afford, even if it is a full time live-in, your kids should be making their own beds in the morning and putting their own clothes in the laundry. I knew a family once where the kids would just drop their dirty clothes on the floor of their room, because the cleaning lady would come clean it anyway. To me, that's not proper parenting.

It can't hurt for them to have before or after Shabbos chores as well. It would be good for them to wash some dishes or sweep a floor or set up a load of laundry once a week. These are good skills to learn, while still leaving the brunt of house cleaning to the cleaning lady.
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