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Inspired by Sima telling her story....
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 6:50 pm
OP if you need validation - please join the private forums ... this is not the right place
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 6:54 pm
Post deleted

Last edited by amother on Sat, Mar 28 2015, 7:58 am; edited 3 times in total
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 6:56 pm
Director SHUT UP ALREADY !!!
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nywife




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 6:59 pm
greenfire wrote:
Director SHUT UP ALREADY !!!


Speechless shock there's really no need to yell. Have a great shabbos, greenfire.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 6:59 pm
amother wrote:
I also don't mean to cause hurt, but I think this sounds more like an illicit affair than abuse. Of course, it is nauseating and abhorrent coming from a respectable rabbi, but hardly on the same scale as child molesters.


It's things like this that blur the lines and lead to victim blaming.

An affair is consensual. Was this? Was OP in a position to be able to say no? There are many shades of grey between consent and rape. If OP feels taken advantage of, maybe she was?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 7:06 pm
nywife wrote:
Speechless shock there's really no need to yell. Have a great shabbos, greenfire.


really ??? you're stressing me out & I'm not even the op !!!
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rachel91




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 3:58 pm
Wow! Is this really true?? I know this person, I know his daughter, my mum was very close to her at one point. I met his wife, grandchildren. He gave shiurim here. Op, I don't say I font believe you, since I know how frustrating this can be, but I never heard about this before, and many people will have a hard time believing...hugs.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 8:06 pm
greenfire wrote:
OP if you need validation - please join the private forums ... this is not the right place

OP here. Greenfire, before jumping in with a stupid comment like this, why don't you first take the time to read the whole thread. Including the part where I state that I am not here for validation.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 8:17 pm
rachel91 wrote:
Wow! Is this really true?? I know this person, I know his daughter, my mum was very close to her at one point. I met his wife, grandchildren. He gave shiurim here. Op, I don't say I font believe you, since I know how frustrating this can be, but I never heard about this before, and many people will have a hard time believing...hugs.

OP here. If you know his family that well, then you likely also know of his lifestyle habits... The fact that he travels to Eretz Yisroel close to a monthly basis (or at least used to) and his wife NEVER accompanies him. He used to tell me she doesn't like to travel. The fact that he has a private apartment where he stays in Eretz Yisroel (he only goes to his children living there for meals). He has a ton of free time on his hands when he is not lecturing or molesting other women. It is sick that another posted here wrote about this sounding like an "affair". What on earth could I possibly want with a man so many decades my senior?? The way I got introduced to him was through someone that thought he would help bring me closer to yiddishkit. Instead, he claimed that the only way to help me was through my "heart" and he started crossing boundaries one at a time, and I will not elaborate further. It was not until I went to extensive therapy that I was able to see how he used me, and used his position to get me where he wanted me. It was very very sick.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:24 pm
amother wrote:
OP here. Greenfire, before jumping in with a stupid comment like this, why don't you first take the time to read the whole thread. Including the part where I state that I am not here for validation.


Wow, greenfire did not deserve this. She was the only one accepting your words. Why is her post stupid?
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:41 pm
amother wrote:
Wow, greenfire did not deserve this. She was the only one accepting your words. Why is her post stupid?

I don't know what she said "shut up" to because that post got deleted before I could read it. I did not appreciate her telling me that I was in the wrong place posting. Again, validation is far from what I was looking for in posting. And if you're wondering why I'm upset, I am disappointed in the posters that think they have the right to put down someone who has possibly been through more than they will ever go through in a lifetime.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:45 pm
I hear you, but she was trying to tell you that posting to an open audience is not going to get you the kind of response you deserve, whether it's validation or something else.

Sadly, people just don't get it.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:47 pm
amother wrote:
I hear you, but she was trying to tell you that posting to an open audience is not going to get you the kind of response you deserve, whether it's validation or something else.

Sadly, people just don't get it.

SO sad
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:49 pm
amother wrote:
Post deleted


do you think I'm a fool to forget who posted ?!?!?! think again ...
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:51 pm
amother wrote:
SO sad


I face a similar reaction with my personal problem. There's dismissal, blame, indifference...

BH I have those who support me, and a private forum here with people who do get it.

I hope you have support for yourself, too.

Hug
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 10:54 pm
amother wrote:
OP here. Greenfire, before jumping in with a stupid comment like this, why don't you first take the time to read the whole thread. Including the part where I state that I am not here for validation.


I'll keep that in mind ... I'm too stupid to watch your back from nasty comments ...

if you think so ... um well then consider me protecting victims of zexual abuse other than yourself

I'll stay out of your thread
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 11:04 pm
greenfire wrote:
I'll keep that in mind ... I'm too stupid to watch your back from nasty comments ...

if you think so ... um well then consider me protecting victims of zexual abuse other than yourself

I'll stay out of your thread

Yes, staying out of my thread is probably the more mature response. Thank you.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 11:09 pm
amother wrote:
Yes, staying out of my thread is probably the more mature response. Thank you.


On behalf of greenfire, a generally mature and very kind poster, I just want to register my confusion about this unkind exchange going on here.

I think greenfire's suggestion to post in a forum for people who understand was very kind, and done with the intention to spare you the pain of unkind responses.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 11:16 pm
greenfire wrote:
do you think I'm a fool to forget who posted ?!?!?! think again ...


No. I just re thought it and realized it may have come across as more insensitive than I meant it. I'm not the best at writing out my thoughts so I some times come across as harsher than I mean to.

Anyway, to OP I'm really sorry for what you went through.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Mar 28 2015, 11:20 pm
amother wrote:
No. I just re thought it and realized it may have come across as more insensitive than I meant it. I'm not the best at writing out my thoughts so I some times come across as harsher than I mean to.

Anyway, to OP I'm really sorry for what you went through.

Apparently, OP is not the only one misunderstanding or being misunderstood by green fire.
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