S/O Dreading a Guest - Who just adored being a hostess?

UQT

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 8:28 pm

All this bad rep about heading out and being hosted got me thinking. As a host, I'm wondering how many hostesses out there were sad to see their guests go? I enjoyed our company, but honestly I danced them out the door last night. My mother spent 20 minutes this morning venting to me how annoying/disruptive/messy the grandchildren were. Hmm...and going to your parents are supposed to be giving them their nachas? Who is enjoying this anyways? I believe that coming for one day, say a Shabbos, one at a time is when grandparents can truly enjoy their eineklach. Having 3 married kids at a shot, 8 kids under the age of 4, plus the singles is a recipe for disaster.

Your thoughts?

shanie5

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 10:46 pm

I had all my children, their spouses (of the marrieds), and grandkids for the first days. I would have loved for them to be able to stay longer. Sure my house is a mess. But that doesn't bother me. it's usually a mess-at least I had an excuse Wink

.

My kids like to come together and work hard at getting along well. It's great! And then when they leave, and I have semi quiet (still have the singles home), its nice too.

And I don't mind when the singles go back to school either. I like the sort of quiet then too.

But they can come whenever they want-they are never a burden to me!

amother

Babypink

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 2:02 am

I don't have married kids yet, but we have siblings join us for pesach some years. Once it was 3 married families with kids, my parents and 2 single siblings.
I love it! I love when they're here. I love that the kids get to play with their cousins (we live oot) and I don't mind the extra work (I have a pesach kitchen and try to cook before hand )

BUT I really do like the quiet after everyone leaves, although I'm sad WHEN they leave (do I make sense? )

This year we only had one sibling wroth family come for the second days. They're leaving Tuesday (couldn't find tickets before ) and I really don't mind the extra time. I know I'll appreciate getting back to reality and the quiet o once they leave, but while t they're here we're enjoying it.

imaima

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 2:55 am

UQT wrote:

I totally agree, but if we concentrate on what's enjoyable, then everyone should just stay home. I gave up the idea that visiting relatives and having them visit us is supposed to be enjoyable. I am making a conscious effort to contribute to the shalom of our extended bayis (not just mine and dh's), preparing to hard work in order to have children experience what a big loving family is like.
That doesn't happen so often but it has to happen either way.

I understand that for many people, Sukkot and Pessach is when they have off work or have to take vacation days anyway, so there is not many days left to take extra for visiting family. So this way relatives from overseas get to see each other, and of it adds to yom tov stress, well this is the price you pay for it!

FranticFrummie

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 3:13 am

I love having company over, but I'm also an introvert, so I find it really exhausting after a couple of hours, and it takes me a long time to recover from social interaction. It doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it, but it does wear me out more than the average person.

Raisin

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 6:51 am

I love having guests over, but not for too long. Sadly I live some distance away from most of my family so visits are rare. When they do come it is all at once for a simcha, which is lovely, but then we have too many people all staying at one time. I wish I had a bigger house with a guest suite, it would make having guests a lot nicer.

Chayalle

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 10:15 am

I hosted my SIL and BIL, with their two children - nephew age 21 months and newborn of 4 days old (he had his Bris on Chol Hamoed), along with my father and single siblings. It was such fun, and a pleasure to have a baby in the house. My DD (age 7) really hit it off with older nephew, and entertained him by building magna-tile towers which he gleefully knocked down. Yeah, he also found and wrecked the games on the bottom shelf of the game area whenever he managed to get there, but it wasn't a big deal and my 7 year old helped clean up each time (big, big mitzvah note today, back-to-school....she is so proud of herself).

My big girls argued over who gets to hold the baby every time he made his appearance, and we all had to work out a sharing system and keep track of whose turn it is to get him. There is just nothing like a newborn in the house. They even changed him - a great experience and training for their futures B"EH. Smile

I had to show my sister to the couch several times when I caught her trying to help....and insist that she go down to rest whenever possible. And I had some delicious times with the baby, including Pesach night after candle-lighting, when I fell asleep with him on my shoulder on the couch. Yum.

I'm enjoying the post Yom Tov quiet, but I really miss them....we'll have to invite them back for a Shabbos as soon as I'm back in hosting-shape.