My kid doesn't get the concept of consequences

mommyla

Tue, Apr 14 2015, 2:28 pm

amother wrote:

So tonight at bed time I told my son that if he goes to sleep nicely, no crying, he will get a treat tomorrow. He was very exhausted and I was very sure of myself and somehow it worked. No crying.
So thanks everybody! I need to learn to implement all this...

When my son was giving me a hard time going to sleep (he was a little older than yours) I promised him chocolate milk with breakfast the next morning if he went to bed nicely. It worked like a charm!

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Apr 14 2015, 2:31 pm

I think it is time to teach him not to be so jealous. Reality is reality. He has to share his Mom now. You may be rewarding the wrong thing. You are trying to fill his need but you may just be enabling it. For many years he will be larger and stronger than his sibling. You can easily imagine what he will be able to do if "hitting the baby" becomes something that doesn't stop.

He's demanding but that doesn't mean he has to get his demands met.

You can say no.

Make up your own mind which kid gets what, and impose that. It shouldn't be "the squeaky wheel gets the grease". The younger may be a less forceful type of person but that shouldn't cost him goodies.

It seems to me a biggish baby can be in a playpen. Maybe I don't understand but I don't understand why the two kids can't be separated that way.

Don't be sorry for your firstborn. He was displaced and that hurts, but he also has an ally for life who will get his back like no other. UNLESS they are allowed - by the parents (plural) - to be at war. SINCE you have displaced the poor boy at least confer an ally on him as compensation. A victim will be a very bad ally, not an ally at all.

You are ruling men now.

Just because they yell and stamp doesn't mean they always get what they want. They are MEN. They need a firm hand and justice.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Apr 14 2015, 3:21 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

I know you are right and the truth is that things have started getting better between the kids lately. I happen to be very firm about baby's rights in the house and thankfully baby is very active and even knows how to yell back at DS!
I asked a chinuch person for advice wehn I saw the jealousy was getting out of hand and she told me that knowing my son , I should give him as much attention as I can because he really needs it (it's his personality) which I try very hard to do but this doesnt mean that he's rewarded for hitting or yelling at the baby, ever. I do punish him though and that is negative attention but I simply haven't found another way to deal with the hitting and I certainly wouldn't let him beat up the baby (or anyone else).
I can't imagine puting either one of them in a playpan. They are both very active and when I try (I do try occassionally ) they end up asking to go in it together, DS jumps, baby laughs UNTIL he hits baby and it ends in crying... I know it's different than hitting for no reason (which is what I'm referring to in this thread) but it stil ends badly. Otherwise they are bored there. Neither one would sit and play quietly. I guess it's a nature type of a thing.