Need Advice Training 3.5 year old Twins, Going Nuts!

notme

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 4:40 pm

So my twins are 3.5 and they are fully capable of toilet training but don't care if they're wet! I started with pull ups and figured once they got the hang after a couple days we would switch to underwear. The problem is they don't care if they're wet or dirty even when in underwear. They will go if I take them to the toilet but never ask to go and never make a number two on the toilet (daughter rarely son has never). I know they are capable because right before he makes he says "I'm not making" She often holds it in and I see her shifting so I take her to the bathroom but if I ask "DO you need to make?" She'll usually say no.

It seems like more of a behavioral issue at this point and the last thing I want is a power struggle. Most camps require them to be toilet trained and they need to be for school in September. It's just so frustrating!

Anyone had similar issues please advise! I don't know anyone in real life who can help me!

debsey

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 4:47 pm

notme wrote:

Pull ups are too comfortable. Leave them in underwear so they feel how uncomfortable being wet feels. PUll ups are like diapers -they draw wetness away from the skin, so as to minimize rashes, but the downside is, the child doesn't learn to feel uncomfortable after an accident.

Have you looked into any "canned" toilet training programs (the ones that come with a video, a book, and an incentive chart)? I used one - don't remember which any more - but I bought it in Target - and it worked well.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 6:22 pm

I just trained my 3.5 yr old son over pesach. Bh he hasn't had an accident since erev yom tov first days. I told him that its too bad he is wearing underwear from now on. If he makes number k ne he gets one treat. Number two 2 treats and both four treats. At first I had to remind him to go. Then he realized on his own when he had to go. I kept him in underwear the whole time and just refused to let him wear a diaper.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 11:52 pm

asd3 wrote:

I find the most effective way is to have them run around wearing nothing so they feel it on their legs right away

That's what I did with DD, and she was trained within a week. I did a lot of mopping and rug cleaning that week, but it was totally worth it. If she had an accident she had to stop playing to go get cleaned up and change clothes, and then I have her some paper towels and had her help me clean the floor. That way she connected having an accident with having to stop playing.

She really hated the feeling of peeing without panties on, and having the pee run into her socks and shoes, so she started running to the bathroom to "catch it". She's 11 now, and sometimes she'll still run down the hall to the bathroom, announcing "I GOTTA PEEEEEEE!" LOL

chani8

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 1:50 am

I bought an e-book on potty training, years ago, and it helped so much to have a shitta to follow.

I was taught that children should wear underwear because part of potty training is being able to manage getting on and off the potty with one's clothes, pulling up and down undies, keeping clothes out of the way.

Potty training takes three days, unless the child isn't able to poop. A child who doesn't poop in the potty, is not potty trained.

The best tip ever was letting a potty training child see others sit on the potty, and showing them someone else's poop in the potty. The effect was dramatic, to see all fear and shame leave the child as they realize everyone does it.

The basic shitta is to spend a day or two very near to the bathroom with the child, drinking and peeing and eating and pooping. No rewards, just hanging out. No fear about mistakes. It's a learning experience, not a guessing game. "When you feel that the pee needs to come out, then you sit on the potty, and let it come out."

We don't make a big emotional deal about it. It's a fact of life. Have to pee, use the potty. Make a mistake? Clean it up.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Apr 15 2015, 12:24 am

You have to be extremely on top of the situation. Wearing long undershirts is the way to go.
Give them lots to drink
Don't ask them if they need to go.just take them. Why should they say yes?
Have a potty and a reg toilet so they can sit the same time.
Do not go out of the house until they keep dry.slowly increase the time your out with them.
Find them things to do in the bathroom while they sit there.
Since they're in the mode of training it's easier to train them for the night shorty there after,don't wait.Otherwise night training is endless.
Good luck, take pictures bc one day it will bring back fond memories (yeah I know it's hard to imagine)