Mother's weren't meant to be single

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Smokey

Fri, Apr 17 2015, 11:33 am

This isn't fair. I'm having such a hard time. 3 small kids. Who do u share the frustration with when the kids don't go to bed or keep coming out or don't listen or tell u it isn't fair that all the nighbors get to stay out later than us. They don't understand that I'm only 1 person who has to everything. Homework, supper, baths bedtime, deal with my emotions, lawyers, clean up, maintain some sort of normalcy in our home. This wasn't my choice and now I'm stuck here dealing with it all...

amother

Seagreen

Fri, Apr 17 2015, 11:37 am

Im sorry I cant imagine what you go through on a daily basis, but know you are not alone. There are two support group out there, sister to sister for divorcees and samchainu for widows. Both do amazing work and I know people who have benefitted greatly.

amother

cornflower

Fri, Apr 17 2015, 12:26 pm

amother wrote:

Your mom. Mine saved my sanity when my husband was dying. It was like having a second parent even though she wasn't there on a day to day. She listened to the most minute details.

amother

Lime

Fri, Apr 17 2015, 1:09 pm

It's hard for me to read that because I was raised by a single mum. Now that I know how difficult it is to be just a CO-parent, I can't even imagine what it's like to do it alone.
I should probably tell my mother that.
The only consolation I can try to offer, is that my sibs and I turned out really well in the end (if I do say so myself). We're all married, have children of our own, are successful in our professions, and respected in our communities.
The work you're doing now WILL pay off in the end. Though I admittedly don't know how you do it every single day.
Wishing you lots of bracha and hatzlacha.

chayamiriam

Sat, Apr 18 2015, 10:36 pm

I second that, I raised three kids on my own, now all grown up to be wonderful parents well respected in their communities. It will get better, you will reap what you sow! Hugs treat yourself sometimes , you deserve it!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Apr 19 2015, 4:21 am

Jewish Family Services has lots of programs for single moms. See if there's one in your area.

Make friends with other moms, even if they're married. A lot of women have husbands who travel a lot, or are gone from morning to midnight learning, own their own businesses, or are otherwise not around to help much. They will have sympathy for you, and may have some good tips to help you cope.

Some days, it really is OK if you give up and just let them run wild around the house at night. As long as you are clear with them that it's a treat and not a habit, it won't hurt them in the long run.

I was a single parent from when DD was 2 until she was 7, and my DH travels for work about 6 months out of the year. Feel free to PM me and vent any time you want! Hug

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