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Adjustment advice/clarity for a recent move



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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Apr 21 2015, 9:25 am
firstly I feel like I need to just express myself. please dont judge me. or criticize. I would love some insight or advice that can be used practically. I moved from new york to new jersey a few weeks ago. at first I was elated. I came from so much noise and congestion to calm and roomy house. bh the house is great. I have room for eth I need. but, sometimes I think to myself that I might have made a mistake. I should not have made this move. but it was so necessary I had no place for the things I needed. so much happened in these last few weeks. I notice that I do think about the past a lot. ok so what happened a few weeks ago, or some comments in laws and parents made about the move still bother me. my parents came to visit on sunday. my mother was kind of complimentary or positive shall I say. but I felt like she wasnt fully happy for me. but my father was way more positive, like saying he thinks its so nice he was so much happier for me. I really need to be honest. I hate my mother. she has said very hurtful words to me in the past, so I just hate her. I cant even believe I am writing this. but I kind of feel bad for her. shes impulsive, she doesnt think much before she speaks. shes not a mean person she just feels she needs to be respected no matter what. its sad, but everyone who knows her says shes not bad shes a nebach. she cant change at this age. so I get stuck on her comments. and when she screws her nose at something I get so offensive. what she says and thinks of me makes such a difference. and yet I hate her. its hard for me to understand her and deal with her thats offective and not take her comments or expressions personally. what should I say to myself. I just dont understand her way. can it be shes jealous of me? please help me unravel this. to make sense of it. I just wish she was nicer to me. that could be the problem. I want her to be something she isnt. I should be happy she came and bought nice toys for my kids. thats positive. I guess I vented now. I know you ladies can help me.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Apr 21 2015, 11:27 am
Sorry about your mothers comments. I don't have any real advice for you on that, except to try not to pay too much attention to them especially since you know her nature.
She could have been jealous or maybe this is how she expresses that she is anticipating that she will miss seeing you more. None of these reasons justifies her comments, just maybe use this knowledge to help you not put too much weight into them.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Apr 21 2015, 12:44 pm
Other people may see her as a nebach. However, they did not live with her. They were not parented by her. They were not hurt by her. They do not have the emotional scars from growing up with her. They do not get to have a say in how you feel.

I hate my abusive parents, too. I'm still dealing with the emotional pain many years after I thought I was done.

You're OK, OP. Hold your head up and hang in there. :hug:
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Apr 21 2015, 12:46 pm
olive amother you said the perfect words. like a puzzle. maybe you can be a good therapist. thanks I appreciate your kind words.
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