WWYD: Boss/Guest canceled - insisted on paying for food

Ima2NYM_LTR

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 8:38 am

My boss has been very helpful to me at work, supporting me and helping in my professional growth. As a thank you, I invited her and her husband to Shabbos dinner for tonight. We were all looking forward to it.

This morning, when I got to work, she told me she unfortunately has a last minute unavoidable conflict of interests (valid), and she cannot make it. I understand why and am not upset.

I did start worrying, because I already made the gefilte fish and huge pot of soup, and have a roast and extra chicken defrosting. I was trying to think of a last minute replacment guest so the food didnt go to waste.

She saw I was looking upset and asked me why, so I mentioned that I was trying to think of a replacement guest, so the roast wouldnt be wasted. Well, she is such a caring person that she reached into her purse and pulled out money to offer me for the food.

I was so embarrassed. I didnt want to take her money, but she insisted. Later I looked and saw it was $60- it wasnt even $60 worth of food!

Well now we have replacement guests, and I really feel bad about having her money. Im worried though that if I try to give it back she will be offended.

What should I do?

iluvy

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 9:42 am

"X, it was so sweet of you to feel so bad about not coming this week. We did have someone else come over and it all worked out. I feel really uncomfortable taking money from you for this; please take it back and we hope to have you over another time."

Ima2NYM_LTR

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 11:06 am

I spoke to her again and thanked her for the money. I told her that I appreciated the offer and understood where it was coming from,but I felt uncomfortable taking her money. I said it was about the good company, not the cost of the food, and that we looked forward to having her again. I also told her we did find replacement guests.

She seemed a little upset that I wouldn't take the money, so I asked her if I could give most of it back, and she agreed. I kept the $20 and gave her back $40. Ill talk with my husband about if we will give it to tzedakah, or use it to buy food for when we reschedule.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 11:52 am

It was already frozen once and defrosted- didnt want to refreeze. Some was already cooked and doesnt freeze well after cooking.

instead, we are having a family of five, including a bottomless pi--I mean pre-teen boy coming. We will be fine now.

Kitten

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 12:05 pm

I know the issue has been settled.
Last minute cancellations are not rare, whether the reasons are valid or not really. If you invite a lot, you will find it quite frequent. Can't you just eat the extra food after Shabbos? Or do you mind eating the same thing everyday for a couple of days? You say you were expecting a couple, so it's not like you prepared food for an extra 20 people.

Miri7

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 2:11 pm

Give the $20 to the food bank or similar organization.

You can even give it in your boss's honor/name so that a nice thank you card will go to her. I've done this before when someone refused to let me pay them for services and people seem to really appreciate it. (Example: A lactation consultant friend wouldn't take payment from me so I donated in her honor to an organization that provides pre- and post-natal care to indigent women.) It's a good way to acknowledge a kindness.