What do I do at my upcoming simcha

Barbara

Tue, Apr 21 2015, 1:44 pm

amother wrote:

I just have to decide by tomorrow the latest if we should do the dessert buffet since I need to order invitations for it or just send invite for the kiddush which they definitely won't attend.

I assume this is catered. Please talk to your caterer. You want to be sure they can do a precise time, so dessert guests don't arrive while people are still eating dinner.

Simple1

Tue, Apr 21 2015, 4:38 pm

Some people will limit their guest lists to family only. In such a case I would invite them if I were including friends. But if they were inviting friends and left you out. you can rethink if you feel close enough that you want to include them in your simcha.

We have a small extended family, so I had to struggle with these types of decisions - because my list is small, I want to invite people I'm not that close with.

amother

cornflower

Tue, Apr 21 2015, 5:45 pm

Simple1 wrote:

Unfortunately we don't have a large family. That would have solved the problem.

amother

cornflower

Tue, Apr 21 2015, 5:46 pm

Barbara wrote:

I assume this is catered. Please talk to your caterer. You want to be sure they can do a precise time, so dessert guests don't arrive while people are still eating dinner.

Yes it's catered. That is a great point because I know in my circle bar mitzvah's never start on time.

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Apr 21 2015, 9:24 pm

amother wrote:

OP here if we do the dessert buffet invite do we include a response card?

You can also write on the invitation dinner at 7 dessert buffet at 9 and then on the return card you put 2 boxes, one for dinner and 1 for dessert and they check off what they come to

Just speak to people that have done Dessert buffets. They're not so cheap if you want to make them fancy and there's usually alot left over. Don't order too many regular cakes, those don't go.

Whatever you do, enjoy and mazal tov!

Personally if I was going to Israel for my son's bar mitzvah, I'd make a small party in my house for his friends and our family. ..

imasoftov

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 5:05 am

Barbara wrote:

I'm not sure what a "kiddush only" invitation is. In our shul, all kiddushes are open to the entire shul, so it would be kind of a meaningless invite.

I grew up in a shul where a small number of families would make invitation-only kiddushes. They and their guests would go into one room for kiddush and everyone else would go to the other. I'm so glad that I don't remember which families did that as I would have a hard time not holding a grudge. And that I haven't seen that since.

amother

cornflower

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 8:35 am

amother wrote:

You can also write on the invitation dinner at 7 dessert buffet at 9 and then on the return card you put 2 boxes, one for dinner and 1 for dessert and they check off what they come to
..

Sounds a bit tacky to offer choices on the response card. People that tend to say they are coming to bar mitzvah could walk in at 8:30

Jeanette

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 9:15 am

Kitten wrote:

If you don't expect anyone to fly to your simcha, why not make a standard invitation card inviting them to the kiddush also?
I know for wedding invitations, people send millions of invitations but they really don't expect all these people to show up, maybe for dancing but definitely not for the meal. When you get an invitation, you decide for yourself if it's appropriate to come to the meal. I however do know a couple of people who make different types of invitations.

OT, but I hate invitations you need some sixth sense to decide whether to accept. I rarely go to weddings except close family, but if I did I wouldn't want the baalei simcha looking at me and thinking her? What's she doing here?