Neighbor's child urinating on my lawn

The Happy Wife

Mon, May 04 2015, 10:35 pm

Yes, little boys sometimes pee where they are not supposed to. Bit on someone else's front door? Multiple times? I really don't understand. Where is the adult who is supervising this 4 year old. Why is he left alone long enough to reach OP's front door and urinate?

OP, if the mother refuses to supervise her child properly, I think you should insist that SHE come scrub your door clean each time.

rosenbal

Mon, May 04 2015, 10:37 pm

Omg! when one of my sons was newly toilet trained and we were out at some far away park, woods etc, he needed to go so we found a quiet corner and had him pee behind a tree (I mean there was NO way he was holding anything in!)

What did he do several times that week? Pee outside on my lawn, driveway etc. I was beyond myself! By really, we dealt with it...I don't remember exactly what but it's called parenting. I probobly told him big boys don't do that, we only do it in emergencies on some far flung places without toilets etc. Them when he didnt listen I probably said something like, if you're not big enough to use the toilet at home, you're not big enough to (go to slurpies with us...go to csmp...whatever, you fill in the blank). I would probably phrase it inversely in a positive way to be more effective.

Anyway, I can see little boys trying out this shtick. (My kid did it once this year too at age 4...we put a stop to it asap !) I think the problem is the parenting. She might not even be dysfunctional in the real sense, but not good at being firm and disciplining and setting limits so what she says goes in one ear and out the other of this kid. He could also be an eXtra difficult one (mine is lol!)

I like the idea of making him clean up. In an age appropriate way of course. Also do it calmly but matter of fact. He may still pee on lawns but not YOUR lawn!

heidi

Mon, May 04 2015, 11:50 pm

amother wrote:

I don't think this is helpful to op, but I just want to point out that it is a sign of dysfunction in the home. My brother was that age when he would poop in my parents yard. The parents don't deal with it because they need help. Not that op should provide it, but the ideas of sending a picture, ect. may help op with the problem, but they may also cause the child to be punished way to harshly.
I would choose to either have the boy clean it himself, talk to him about where we pee telling him in our house we only pee on the toilet, or stop allowing him to play by you.
Hatzlocha!

Or they live in Israel!!
I am the last person to advocate such behavior, and have even pointed out to GROWN MEN how inappropriate it is to pee wherever and whenever they want. BUT, it is very very cultural.
Gotta agree with you about the pooping. That's probably major issues.

ValleyMom

Tue, May 05 2015, 1:24 am

I don't let our dog pee all over the lawn and yard as it kills the grass.
Borrow a dog and let it pee on her lawn.

I cannot believe a mother would not be a little mortified that her son is so lazy he cannot find the time or energy to walk the requisite few yards to go inside to urinate in a toilet like the rest of us civilized humans.

WEIRD.

amother

Tangerine

Tue, May 05 2015, 2:11 pm

Speaking off Israel, I live in a small street, that is really more like a large parking lot that is very quiet. I see taxi drivers frequently pull in to our street just to take a "pit stop." It was quite a shock the first time, but now when I see a taxi pull up and the driver get out.. I say "here they go again" and walk away from the window Smile

My 4 year old son was going through this stage, where he would pee in random places when he was angry, or for attention, or just randomly. It was so so challenging. I couldn't take him anywhere! I was always afraid he would wander off and leave a mess...

I found puddles in the craziest places. It was so so stressful

I can sympathize with the mother a bit, as what punishment would you give this child? "You have to come inside and sit in your room?"
well, what do you think will happen in his room?
"You wont get any treats this week.." Ok, but he still thinks that the pleasure he gets from acting out is worth it...
Someone suggested telling the boy in a loving caring tone that if you arent being careful where you are peeing, I am nervous that you will get your nice clothing wet, so I will put them away until you are ready to not have this happen again. And have him clean it up. My son went without clothing for an hour 2x ( I let him lie in bed with his blanket so he wouldnt be cold) and that was the end of this massive power struggle...

But more importantly, any professional I spoke with regarding this issue was very concerned, and said that this is NOT normal behavior. This is acting out on a disturbing level, and there is most certainly something behind it.
In my case, I found out there was something similar going on in the school, and my son was being "bullied" by other kids peeing on him. When that stopped, his issue stopped as well.

mandr

Tue, May 05 2015, 8:55 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Is this a frum thing?

Never in my life have I ever heard of boys being able to pee wherever they want, until I became frum. Even on camping trips, there was a designated pee spot, you didn't just go wherever you wanted.

It's gross, it's unsanitary, and nobody wants to see (or clean up) that. That is some SERIOUSLY lazy parenting right there. If you're too overwhelmed to potty train and/or supervise your 4yo, then you'd better be looking into birth control.

I went to a wedding once where the meal was outdoors, and there was a group of boys peeing in the bushes about 4 feet away from where I was sitting. There moms were sitting right there with me, and I was horrified. I said something, and they just giggled and said "That's what boys do." Rolling Eyes

Opposite! I've never heard of frum boys doing that, but read about all the time in secular children's books.

imasoftov

Wed, May 06 2015, 4:06 am

amother wrote:

Wouldn't help with the four year old but for the taxi drivers the lower sign might work