Playing outside without supervision, what age?

amother

Hotpink

Thu, May 07 2015, 7:49 pm

I have a 5 year old who wants to play outside with the neighbors, only problem is I can't sit outside to watch him because my 2 year old will want to run up and down the block and I will be chasing her back and forth constantly, I don't have the patience or energy for it.

I allow them both to play in the gated back yard while I watch from the window, but at what age is it safe for my 5 year old to play in front of our house on the sidewalk, or in front of the neighbor's house?

Bitachon101

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:04 pm

Don't get me started....
I guess it depends on the responsibility level of the kid but I see 9 year olds riding in the street right in front of cars and get upset.
And 5 year old can be much more careless and unnoticeable (think cars backing out of driveways). I don't like the no supervision thing until a child is old enough to be responsible and look for cars.
I totally get you, I end up chasing after my toddler. Every day.
But I also can't always be outside.
If I absolutely can't but its nice and kid needs outside time I open my windows and door and listen and check on him every few min and he knows not to go past 2 houses. But its still not ideal and I wish I didn't do that.

amother

Pearl

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:13 pm

So basically your question is if it makes sense to leave a young helpless 5 year old unsupervised outdoors cuz watching your 2 year old is tiring? hmmmmmmm.... not worth a minute of saved energy for the risk.

I have 4 little kids ages 7, 5, 3 and newborn. I understand your predicament but I see it as irresponsible of a parent to let a 5 year old roam the street w/o supervision. Unfortunately by the Kletsky tragedy specialists said that kids under 10 shouldnt be outdoors alone.

I have a neighbor that lets her 4 yr old and 3 year old play outdoors all alone. I always feel like asking her: would you leave them in your house alone? The streets are so much worse. How on earth does it make sense?

amother

Brown

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:28 pm

I would say not before 10. I will let my kids play outside if I know there is an 11 year old girl neighbor who says they will specifically watch my child/ren and only really in front of my house. One downstairs neighbor is 10 but she looks like shes 7 and I do not let her watch my kids. I do let an 11 year old who looks like she is 13.
I do not let my 8 yr old dd outside by herself. Im not concerned she will do something irresponsible, its the lunatics out there im concerned about.

amother

Pearl

Thu, May 07 2015, 11:41 pm

Quote:

Clearly I am in the minority. But we do not know where OP lives. OP, are you urban, suburban? High traffic, low traffic? High foot traffic, low foot traffic? Are there other kids outside to play with

?

I dont think it matters unless its completely fenced in. I live in a very safe low crime neighborhood and like Ive mentioned earlier, I vote no

amother

Hotpink

Fri, May 08 2015, 12:20 am

Thanks for the answers! No I am not asking if it's safe to let my 5 year old be alone. I know I don't feel comfortable with it at this age. He's been begging me since he was 3. Up to 5 he had to stay in our backyard, now at 5 I let him into the neighbors backyard with strict instructions that if he goes to the front he will have to come back to our yard. Plus I check on him every 5 minutes. It feels a little neurotic but better safe than sorry. I am also afraid of driveways and crazy people.

I am also thinking now that another guideline would be as soon as he can memorize our phone number and address. Anyway I was just wondering from moms who have btdt what your experience is about unsupervised playing outdoors. Seems like he has a while to go still.

amother

Hotpink

Fri, May 08 2015, 12:23 am

SRS wrote:

Clearly I am in the minority. But we do not know where OP lives. OP, are you urban, suburban? High traffic, low traffic? High foot traffic, low foot traffic? Are there other kids outside to play with?

I am in Brooklyn. It's a side one way street so there's less traffic than a two way street but there are a lot of driveways. There is a medium amount of foot traffic I guess? Kids outside varies. Sometimes the block is packed with playing kids other times it's empty.

Miri7

Fri, May 08 2015, 1:01 am

I agree with SRS. It is highly dependent on the personality and maturity of the kid and which other kids are around , as well as what your neighborhood is like

I let my kids play outside in the front in a group. They are not allowed in the street and I can count in them not to go in the street. My youngest who can play without a grow up directly supervising is seven and he's only allowed to play out front if some of the older kids (ages 10+ or so) are around.

We live OOT on a pretty quiet street, but with neighbors who are around a lot. There are a few families who allow their kids to play like this.

FranticFrummie

Fri, May 08 2015, 1:20 am

It depends on the child. Will he stay in the boundaries you set, or will he want to wander off? Will he check in with your regularly?

DD knew our address and phone number when she was 2, but I didn't let her play out in front until she was around 6. By then I was sure that she knew to stay more than an arms length away from people she didn't know, and to run and get me if anyone "needed help", like a creeper asking to look for a lost puppy.

Once I was sure that she knew the rules, I would keep the front window open so I could hear her playing. By the time she was 7 I let her go around the block to a friend's house without me walking her there.

SRS

Fri, May 08 2015, 2:05 pm

I've BTDT and my own experience is that it is hard to stop a moving train. If a child is begging to be outside, he or she might need a little space and everyone will be happier in the end. If the dangers are minimal, which they are in my part of the neighborhood, you can give the child limits (don't go beyond the tree, stay on the porch) and you can be nearby to say hello every little bit or peak out the window. If the limits are violated, so is the trust. If the rules are kept, the limits can be increased gradually when age appropriate. I had no problem with my then 3 year old coloring on the porch or eating a snack outside. But that child wasn't allowed to cross the street until about the same time as a younger sibling was allowed to cross without supervision. My youngest hasn't reached the same milestones as my other kids and tends to want to stay close, so the youngest's outside time is supervised by older siblings or older neighbor kids. But despite never being alone, this kid gets to go further away because there are always watchful eyes.

I would have different rules in other places, even other places in our neighborhood. In fact, I do. The older kids are more than welcome to walk in one direction to go see friends, but I escort them to friends past a certain street because we don't know so many people over there and it is harder to navigate. Anyways, OP, you have a 5 year old, so there is a long way to freedom. But when I had 5 year old kids, they crossed the street to friend's homes where I could see the friend's doors. I believe in giving kids responsibility and freedom as part of a package and tend to think that in America we often stunt their growth by holding them back of what they are capable of and then when we given them freedom, the freedom is out of balance with the responsibility part of the package (if that makes any sense).