My teanage son on off shabbos

amother

Magenta

Sun, May 17 2015, 1:03 pm

I would say every off Shabbos when my son comes home he is angry & complains about his siblings how they act (hyper etc) - anyone has any ideas what consequences I should give for when he gets angry & then acts up on it. he basically ruins our Shabbos.

Tablepoetry

Sun, May 17 2015, 1:33 pm

Could it be that subconsciously he's jealous they are home and he is not?
Maybe the solution might be to give him special attention?
Just throwing around ideas here.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, May 17 2015, 1:38 pm

He's upset about something, don't punish him, talk to him and figure out a way to make shabbos more pleasant for him. Try to find ways to make him happy and he won't need to ruin your shabbos.

vintagebknyc

Sun, May 17 2015, 1:43 pm

amother wrote:

are they yelling and jumping on him? how does he "act up" on it?

he's a hormonal teenager, merely breathing around him will make him angry. if he's being disturbed and is angry, he's going to lash out in some way. it's not acceptable that he ruins shabbos, and you're going to need to find a way to keep his actions from wrecking the night.

have you considered that perhaps your son is a Highly Sensitive Person (hsperson.com) and just cannot handle the tumult?

susan11230

Sun, May 17 2015, 2:33 pm

It sounds a little sad for your son, Parhaps you should try to understand what is going through his mind , He comes home from yeshivah after not bieng home for 2 weeks, Parhaps he has many sisters and brothers smaller then him that run around making alot of noise , parhaps he needs his own room his own private corner to just wine down from bieng away coming back from Yeshivah and all his pressures Learning , friends etc...Try to sit down with him and ask him what bothers him and how you can help him be less angry. and maybe also talk to his younger syblings before he comes home to tell them to be a little more thoughtfull and to let him rest and to be a bit less noisy and hyper around him , Try to understand him not punish him or yell at him , He is growing up and needs a little space and to be treated more like an adult and less like a child.

amother

Blonde

Sun, May 17 2015, 2:55 pm

He's a teenager, he's old enough to take responsibility of his own emotional reactions and know that his mood can affect those around him. speak to him about it before he comes home and let him know what you expect of him. at the same time, like others said, find out if there's anything in specific that's bothering him that's preventing him from being happy at home and do what you can to make sure that he won't have to experience that. the point is, he needs to communicate in words and not sulk and give you attitude and assume you know why.

November

Sun, May 17 2015, 2:57 pm

You might want to ask him for specifics about what bothers him, and then have a talk with his siblings about how they can try to make the time that he's around more pleasant. Maybe they get excited and jump all over him and each other when he gets home. Maybe that's hard for him to handle, so they can work on giving him some space and time to adjust to being home before they cause a racket. Just one possibility.