London SAHMs - where do you go to make friends?

MountainRose

Tue, May 19 2015, 4:57 am

I've been to the LJFC but the other mothers there aren't very receptive to me, possibly because I'm not as frum as them. No women really go to my shul, we all just stay home with the kids. Most of my son's classmates' mothers work, so they are not available to get to know during the day, and we're all too tired to meet up at night. The shiurim I've been to are full of singles talking to other singles, and my days of having a way to approach them are behind me.

So ladies of London, when you want to make new friends, where do you go?

MountainRose

Tue, May 19 2015, 5:00 am

myself wrote:

Are there any Mummy and Me groups?

Yes, but they're all while my sons are in nursery/playgroup. I did go to some when my boys were younger, but sadly I never even found out most of the other mothers' names.

MountainRose

Tue, May 19 2015, 5:12 am

myself wrote:

Are there none in the afternoons, after school hours? What about meeting at a local park?

My kids tend to be exhausted after school, so I need to take them home and make dinner. I would meet in the local park during the day if I had someone to meet!

I am looking for a way to make friends for myself. B'H my boys seem to be making friends at school just fine, but all my friends either have a job or have moved away, so I am kinda starved for adult interaction. While both my kids are out of the house I clean and cook, work out and do shopping - I'm not bored, just lonely.

saw50st8

Tue, May 19 2015, 5:17 am

MountainRose wrote:

Has your husband made friends at shul? If so, invite them over for shabbat lunch. That's how most of my friendships in my new community have started.

Also, is there a different shul nearby where women go?

MountainRose

Tue, May 19 2015, 5:21 am

saw50st8 wrote:

My husband is quite introverted, so no. There are other shuls in the area, but I am intimidated taking both my kids to a crowded kiddush without my husband to help watch them. I have tried a couple times and I spend all my time chasing the boys and trying to keep them from filling up on sugar that I have no time to talk to anyone.

saw50st8

Tue, May 19 2015, 5:28 am

MountainRose wrote:

Would your husband be willing to join you a few times until you decide if you like a different shul?

Also, while I'm all for limiting sugar, maybe let them have a go at it so you can socialize a bit.

MountainRose

Tue, May 19 2015, 5:32 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Unfortunately we arrived at this shul by process of elimination. He already knows he does not want to daven anywhere else. And the strict sugar policy is not mine, it's my husband's. I kinda agree with you, but I am form an overweight family and my husband is not, so I tend to trust his instincts on feeding the kids.

Is there nothing during the week? Surely I am not the only SAHM that could squeeze an hour out of her week to meet new people?

orangemum

Tue, May 19 2015, 11:28 am

Hi, how long have you been in London for, you can get a welcome pack just to help you get started. A good way to meet other mums is by going to the park, you don't need to be meeting anyone, its just a good place to start chatting. I've also found that by doing rota for my kids in school I end up chatting to other mums and it helps build a connection. As for Shiurim their are Tiferes groups which are smaller more intimate gatherings of mums so it would be easier to build a friendship in that way. I agree that it can be hard to make friends through Shul since many don't use the eiruv and therefore don't end up going...Maybe join a local art, pilates or chinuch course? good luck

oliveoil

Tue, May 19 2015, 5:16 pm

Sahm generally means you have a kid home with you, so most Sahms meet over kid related activities. Sounds like you're looking for adult interaction, but you probably won't meet other sahms at places that don't involve kids. If you're just looking for adult company, look into day time classes, clubs, hobbyish or craftish places. walking tours etc.

Imogen

Wed, May 20 2015, 12:03 am

I met some really interesting nice people going to the London School of Jewish Studies in Albert Road Hendon.

Also the JLE in Golders Green during the day has classes with some married young interesting women attending, events in evenings more likely to be for singles.

Otherwise, maybe get involved in nursery or school activities, may sound cliche and old-fashioned but they PTA do a good job and sometimes meet nice people involved too.

Good luck, London people usually more reserved but friendly underneath!!

Raisin

Wed, May 20 2015, 1:24 am

what about something like an art class or other class you might be interested in? Or sabichs suggestions sounds good.

Mrs Bissli

Thu, May 21 2015, 5:30 pm

Firstly, are you in an area with an eruv and if so do you hold by it? If so, it should be physically possible to go out on shabbat. There's absolutely no rule you have to go to the same shul as your DH, there are usually 'family friendly' shuls where they do children's/toddlers services. Also there are usually shiurim on long summer shabbat afternoons which tend to attract more mothers (hubby looking after the kids). Oh and if people don't invite you, just take an initiative and start inviting them. I'm sure there're other SAHMs, organise a cafe get-together after the drop off? (Something I really really envied SAHMs as I work FT, I confess). Also afternoon or Sunday activities--football, swimming, arts, ballet, you name it. Check out JW3.