I want a dog!!! | Imamother

greenhelm

Fri, May 22 2015, 8:29 am

chani8 wrote:

imasoftov - LOL!!

I just want to say, that if you got a small breed, no one would need to know any more than if you got a cat. Dogs can be litter trained, in fact we litter train all our puppies, and they're a large breed. A small dog that is litter trained does not need to go out in public.

How about that - I've never heard of litter training puppies! Very cool!

amother

Firebrick

Fri, May 22 2015, 8:38 am

chani8 wrote:

I know small dogs can be litter-trained, but from what else I know, it's not healthy to keep dogs cooped up inside all the time. They need the stimulation of walking and playing outdoors.

Me and DH reached an agreement (of sorts) that he is no longer totally point-blank against a dog and we'll revisit this conversation in a year or two. I call a bluff, but what can I do. Confused

Sadie

Fri, May 22 2015, 8:46 am

amother wrote:

Yes I know a lot about different kinds of breeds. I also volunteer already at my local shelter and walk dogs. I wish I could do it more often but their hours don't always mesh with mine.

I feel like I would probably be able to talk DH into it eventually, but I wonder if he would be resentful of it (and me) forever after Sad

Also I wonder if I've romanticized it in my head and when we actually have one I'll be tired of taking care of it? I don't know. I did have other pets in the past that I loved and I happily took care of them. But a dog is much more work I know.

How about asking the shelter if they partner with any rescue organizations that need temporary foster families?
You can get a dog that you know will be temporary so that your husband can see if he's able to adjust to it, and you can see if the daily work is doable for you. The rescue would pay for food and vet bills.
If your family falls in love with the dog then you can keep it, and if it doesn't work out, you don't have to feel guilty about giving it back.
I also desperately want a dog and my husband is less enthusiastic. He wants one eventually but we live in a small apartment and he wants to wait until he have a bigger place (might be a few years). I think we can manage where we are. I talked him into fostering and he agreed to try it after we get back from our summer vacation. I hope it works out for both of us!

ETA that you can foster a dog for a few weeks, give it back, foster another, etc, and then one day when you meet the one dog that you can't imagine giving back, that can be your dog Smile

Sanguine

Fri, May 22 2015, 9:36 am

You should speak to my son. All his life he wanted a dog. He almost never got a birthday present from us cause all he ever wanted was a dog (I'm not a dog lover). He would make signs and have protests for hours chanting "I want a dog". But I never gave in. Well, when he got to 12th grade he and a friend went out and bought a horse!!! He said - See, you should have gotten me a dog when I asked. Lucky for me, the horse lived in a lot behind the friend's house and after 12th grade they had to get rid of it when they moved on in life

33055

Fri, May 22 2015, 10:26 am

sequoia wrote:

Who cares what the school will think? What are they going to do, expel your kids?

What your husband thinks is the salient point. Are there any specific concerns you can address: shedding, barking, etc?

Getting a pet in my community is a major statement. My kids really want a pet. I was told that halachically if even one person might be afraid of the dog you can't have it. Many of those to the right have a strong phobia to dogs. They will freak out by the smallest cutest dog the same as a snarling beast. It can be comical seeing a grown man freaking out over the sweetest puppy.

We were told that cats "steal" Torah learning. People really believe this.

I was told a goat and chickens were OK. Fish are the preferred pet.

Petra

Fri, May 22 2015, 11:48 am

Would not recommend a dog from a rescue or even fostering a dog. Those dogs often are given up for reasons your husband would not appreciate.

Would your husband ever consider volunteering at a shelter with you? If he really is serious about reconsidering the idea in a year or two what is going to change his opinion then because he is no more informed in a year or two compared to now? He needs to be more informed about dogs before one comes to live in his house.

Who knows. If he starts to volunteer, he may bond with a dog and that is that. It could be something you do for "couple time". Could work against you too. Dogs at shelters have their issues. And there is a lot of barking going on usually.

I've always been an animal person. There is just something about love for a pet that is different then for a person. It's very calming to have a pet around. We've had a few dogs over the years. Some we've had to rehome because we moved. We were much younger then. One we re-homed because she got on my last nerve. Our current dog we have had for the last 4 yrs. My husband was against us getting another dog with our track record but this dog is my husband's faithful companion. My husband can't even imagine life without this dog.

Sadie

Sun, May 24 2015, 2:34 pm

Petra wrote:

Would not recommend a dog from a rescue or even fostering a dog. Those dogs often are given up for reasons your husband would not appreciate.

This is irresponsible advice. Most people don't give up dogs because the dog has unfixable behavior problems, they're given up for reasons like these:

Petra wrote:

Some we've had to rehome because we moved. We were much younger then. One we re-homed because she got on my last nerve.

Young people or irresponsible people buy cute puppies and then give them up because they didn't realize it would be a real responsibility and a lot of work to train them. That's why fostering is such a good idea, it gives you the companionship and a chance to see if the dog is for you without making a commitment.

I'm surprised you would be so against fostering and rescues and then go on to suggest volunteering at a shelter and bonding with a dog there. Where do you think foster dogs and rescue dogs come from?
I used to volunteer at a city shelter, the type that had to accept all animals that were dumped there. The shelter had a very low euthanasia rate, but sometimes dogs had to be put to sleep if they were too sick, were dangerous, or if the shelter ran out of room.
That's where rescues come in. Rescues generally pull from city shelters only the most adoptable dogs, not the ones with behavior or aggression problems. Sometimes they pull dogs that are difficult if they think the dog can be rehabilitated in a less stressful environment. But a dog like that would go to an experienced foster family, not a newcomer like the OP. Rescues also make it clear which animals should or shouldn't go families with children.
OP already volunteers with a shelter; they can steer her towards rescues that are reputable and would be thoughtful and responsible when placing an animal with her family.

imasoftov

Mon, May 25 2015, 2:41 am

Squishy wrote:

We were told that cats "steal" Torah learning. People really believe this.

I couldn't believe it. Or disbelieve it.

If I didn't know if cats steal food from the kitchen or not I would at least know what that meant before finding out if they did or didn't. And if someone told me that cats steal cars I wouldn't believe that. But what does it even mean to steal Torah learning?