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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
Superuser
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Mon, Jun 08 2015, 2:24 am
amother wrote: | I don't want my husband to know that I want him to feel as if he was always the only one. | you want to lie to him to make him "feel good"? I assume this isn't the only issue you two are having?
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ora_43
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Mon, Jun 08 2015, 2:44 am
Why does he want to know?
I think I'd refuse to give more than a vague answer to a question like that. Like a previous poster said, if he's asking repeatedly, that's a good sign that he won't be happy with the answer. It sounds like he's looking for assurance - which isn't what he'd get.
I did tell my husband some of my funnier dating stories (not about anyone we both knew, of course, and not with names or identifying details). But nothing more than that.
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Kiwi13
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Mon, Jun 08 2015, 3:27 am
we discussed it early on, but for each of us there wasn't much history with anyone else. I suppose that made it easier. What came from our discussion was learning more about each other and better understanding what the other person needs in a relationship. I think we both also felt special that this was the relationship that "stuck."
I would ask yourself what would come from discussing past relationships with your husband. I don't believe in hiding things, even past things, but like other posters have said, it's probably best to avoid all the gory details. Especially if it would make him feel insecure, worried, sad...
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amother
Rose
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Mon, Jun 08 2015, 3:26 pm
Sure! I told my husband about my earlier dates when we were engaged. I had dated some other guys pretty seriously and told him something along the lines of that I dated these other guys, but I'm so happy that I found you and didn't make a mistake with the others, since you're the right one, you have so many qualities, and I love everything about you. I just kept emphasizing how lucky I am that I found my husband. I don't think secrets are good in a marriage. You don't have to elaborate, but I don't think you should hide it from him.
Now the past is history, and I don't think I'll ever recognize the other guys if I bumped into them.
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silly
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Mon, Jun 08 2015, 5:32 pm
my husband was the first person I met but I was his second person he met
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amother
Jetblack
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Mon, Jun 08 2015, 6:05 pm
I mentioned to Dh that I went out with under 20 guys but only 5 or so were anything serious. He has mentioned to me a few of the girls hes gone out with. But there is one girl he went out with which freaks me out a bit cause on the date he took a photo of her and he still has those photos, maybe 3 pics. EWW.
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abemom2
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Mon, Jun 08 2015, 8:30 pm
If you feel you have to give their names, why do you have to mention that it was serious? Just say these are the guys and finished. You don't have to detail how many times you met each one, for how long....
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