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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
2.5 yr old wont participate in playgroup activities!



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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 9:38 pm
my 2.5 yr old son (oldest of 2 children) is super regular at home and with cousins etc.he's socialy appropriate and plays beautifully.he loves going to playgroup/babysitter. his morah told me that he doesnt participate in the singing and exercise activities but loves to watch it etc. my q is:how can I help my child feel comfortable to roll and clap his hands etc like his fellow playmates? I wld love ideas of how to encourage him.thanks,
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 9:42 pm
He's so little, why the pressure? Maybe he's not ready for structured activity. Maybe he's having a great time already. Maybe he's just not in the mood.

I doubt anyone was ever kept out of Harvard because they didn't clap along in playgroup.
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notme




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 9:47 pm
Some kids really just like to observe. There is nothing wrong with it and they are learning by watching. It is totally normal.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 9:54 pm
oh I am so not into the structure etc.all I look 4 is a warm teacher and happy place.my question is if he refuses to participate is there a soft way to coax him into joining etc.he definitely is more shy in public and I think thats what it stems from.
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smss




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 10:06 pm
what I think people are wondering is: Why do you care if he participates? Why is it important to you?

Sure there are gentle ways of coaxing, and I'd be surprised if the morah hadn't tried them. But if he doesn't want to participate, why do you view that as a problem?
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anonymrs




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 10:12 pm
I have a child like this and the only way is to give her tons of time and space and eventually she comes out of her shell. She still has certain things that she doesn't like to participate in, but overall, she becomes part of the class as the school year progresses. The best thing for this type of kid is NO PRESSURE.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 11:23 pm
oh I am not looking 2 make problems at all! I just wanna make sure that socially hes ok etc and that its somewhat within normal....thnkks!
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smss




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 11:32 pm
amother wrote:
oh I am not looking 2 make problems at all! I just wanna make sure that socially hes ok etc and that its somewhat within normal....thnkks!


He sounds like an introvert, which is a valid personality type Smile

He might get more sociable as he grows up or he might not. I would agree that pressure will have the opposite effect of what you want.

Read Appreciating People by Miriam Adahan...great explanation of what an introvert is. You don't have to change him, and truthfully you can't.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2015, 11:53 pm
I am a plygroup morah for 2 yr olds. Every year I have a couple of kids who dont join in at all at circle time, singing, and definitely not exercise. It is quite normal, it is a personality thing I think.
Funny story - one Shabbos I went to visit a friend whose son was in my playgroup, he was one of those types of kids who wuldnt join in any dancing/singing/exercise/circle time. So suddenly we haerd the sound of singing, it was this little boy davening at the top of his voice, everything we ever davened and sang in playgroup! his motehr told me that he did that every shabbos and some days in the afternnons after he came home from playgroup! so I saw from there , that maybe htat kid who doesnt join in in playgroup is just shy, or likes to do things at his own pace. Dont worry about your child imho
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2015, 11:33 am
My 2 year old is the same way!! He sings all the time at home! These are songs that he learned at school with motions. I said something to the teacher and she said that he just stands on the side and observes while the kids do it. She had no clue that he was picking it all up and learning it all.
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working hard




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2015, 11:51 am
My son was very similar. His 2 year old Morah kept on trying to pull him in with no result except upsetting him. I kept on telling her to leave him alone and let him watch. He will join in if and when he is ready. She could not understand it and it was after Pesach that he joined in. (to all the Yellers: He still went happily every day).
The next year, I told the three year old Morah to ignore him until he is ready. He spent the first 2 weeks observing and then joined with gusto. He blossomed in amazing ways.
He just needed time.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Sun, Jul 12 2015, 8:26 pm
hi im back:) I spoke to his morah and she sayys my son hardly talks when hes there etc when I pick him up he yaps away and she told me he hardly does that all day.in front of me her cant stop talking even in front of morah and friends.is this a concernn so hard 4 me 2 understand since he is soooo outgoing at home and hes almost always wit me besides 4 playgroup....please advise.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Sun, Jul 12 2015, 8:26 pm
hi im back:) I spoke to his morah and she sayys my son hardly talks when hes there etc when I pick him up he yaps away and she told me he hardly does that all day.in front of me her cant stop talking even in front of morah and friends.is this a concernn so hard 4 me 2 understand since he is soooo outgoing at home and hes almost always wit me besides 4 playgroup....please advise.
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