The Child Who Doesn't Ask For Love

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 1:05 pm

Child number one=nightmare. yelled his head off from the moment he was born till he was 2 1/2 almost continuously. never slept more than 45 min straight till age 12 months [I am not exaggerating] Has sever sensory problems, behavior problems, social problems. In short, Incredible Hard kid. Oh, and recently he was molested. Wonderful. This is a kid I work my tuchis off for every second of my life. I sweat for him, I push myself to my utmost limits, and I love him to death.

Child number two=as angel as the first was devil. He slept through the night THE DAY HE GOT HOME. He is always smiling, entertaining himself, will eat anything, did all the milestones early, and is always looking like his life is just about as good as life gets. He is seriously the easiest kid on the planet. He hardly ever cries or demands to be picked up.

Problem is that I am so busy with managing number one, that number two gets less attention. I feel bad because number two doesn't even realize he is missing out because he is just happy all the time. I plop him into his crib at night and walk away. No crying, he rolls over and is asleep in ten minutes. Big boy...we have our song routine, our cuddle routine, our stories and more stories, and talking about his fears and his day and what was bothering him [usually something is bothering him after a whole day]

Its not like I never kiss Little Boy, or never hold him. I do. Just in comparison I feel so guilty. Maybe now he doesn't notice, but what about when he is five?

I would like to have a few private moments with him where I give Little Boy more love, but he is never with me without Big Boy. When I try, Big Boy hits him, pushes him, locks him in a room--you get the picture. So I just end up leaving him on the floor, where he plays with toys contentedly. Is this a problem?

ora_43

Thu, Jun 18 2015, 2:09 pm

It sounds like kid #2 is doing just fine. Maybe things will be different when he's 5, maybe they won't. If he needs more when he's 5, you can deal with finding a way to give him more attention then.

I think it's a nice idea to spend some one-on-one time with him. But don't feel guilty because he's getting "less" than his brother. Each of them is getting what they need.